Don't take a vacation all together. The end.

90% of this would be solved if you didn’t give out the code to your rental house. Or rented a smaller place just for your family that isn’t right next door. “See you on the beach!”

This entire post is very very odd to me. You’ve obviously carefully framed everything to make you Saint Put-upon but you sound like you don’t like family vacations at all. The whole vibe is the yuppy neighbors in National Lampoon Christmas Vacation.

You sound miserable, I'm surprised they want to spend their vacation anywhere near you.

You left the grandparents standing, locked outside? Are you just entirely incapable of communication?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone in this situation is ridiculous. Honestly, if there is a family beach home and a second home is rented next door that is much larger, I can 100% see family assuming that the larger house is the “hang out” house and the smaller house is the “just go sleep there house.” In a family full of normal people, this could totally work fine.

But people thinking they can demand others cook for them, feed their kids, etc are crazy. If your husband thinks this is cool, I would put every demand back on him. “Your sister would like French toast with bacon and homeade apricot jam. I’m headed for a run, dear.” See if your husband will deal with this nonsense.

Yes, the host house thing makes sense, as they consider it an extension of the house they own. The demanding you cook part is weird, and you simply don't do it, or make your husband do it. THis is the one thing your husband asks for so you will have to figure out how to make this work.

I also get the impression that you think you are better than them because you get up early and exercise. There is an overtone of self-righteousness regarding this that oozes from your post. And it is odd that you specified what kind of sandwiches they poached. Like, we would be on your side because they where Hawaiian rolls and ham, but turkey on wheat would be ok for them to take? Have you been drinking?

Sounds like you are a lazy non exerciser who probably eats too much.

Oh please. Most of this drama is occurring at breakfast when OP and her husband are out at 5 am running and doing yoga. Anyone who’s getting up at 5 am on vacation to go running is super uptight and controlling, hence the angst with people popping in chaotically all the time. These two groups should not vacation together.

Anyone who judges others for their interests and hobbies particularly those that are healthy isn't worth listening to.

“Particularly those that are healthy”….you are judging people for their interests and hobbies at the same time as you are telling others not to judge others. Positive judgment is still judgment…and possibly an implicit judgment against those who would never exercise on the mornings of their vacations. (me!)

On vacation, my heathy habit is relaxation. Did you know that many very healthy people have never “worked out” in their entire lives, not once? Did you know that the entire concept of “working out” is radically new in the last two generations of humankind? You can be healthy, sleep late, never work out. Ask my Granny who never once went to the hospital until cataract surgery a month before she died at age 91.

Anonymous wrote:“What makes you think I’m in charge of making you lunch?”
“What makes you think it’s ok to host an event at our beach rental without asking? And then without preparing anything?”
“What makes you think I want to make tacos? What makes you think you get to decide what’s for dinner without checking with the rest of us?”
Etc. Your husband doesn’t seem to care they treat your house like their house.

These are very good scripts. Tone is key. Don’t say them in an exasperated, confrontational tone. See if you can pull off asking them with an astonished, curious tone.

It sounds like your ILs are on a family vacation and you are at some kind of fitness retreat.

You are both wrong! Why would you rent a house NEXT DOOR to the little house if you don’t expect the family next door to come hang out there? The asking you to make them food is clearly rude and odd, but you knew that. But it sounds like your perfect vacation would involve zero time with your in-laws…so then why are you even there?! And you brought YOUR sister and other guests? My head is spinning with all the details.

Next time, set expectations up front. You will overlap with the whole family for 5 days, and during those days you will be more go with the flow and actually hanging out with the family instead of working out every day and going to bed at 9. No need for elaborate breakfasts, but clearly some sort of schedule needs to be made in advance for who is responsible for which meal. Print it out and hang it up.

Then the other 5 days, either before or after everyone else leaves, you will do your own thing with the 5am running and yoga and whatever.

Is anyone else distracted by OP's storytelling narrative? She is all over the place, in and out of different tenses. Did she graduate from high school?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone in this situation is ridiculous. Honestly, if there is a family beach home and a second home is rented next door that is much larger, I can 100% see family assuming that the larger house is the “hang out” house and the smaller house is the “just go sleep there house.” In a family full of normal people, this could totally work fine.

But people thinking they can demand others cook for them, feed their kids, etc are crazy. If your husband thinks this is cool, I would put every demand back on him. “Your sister would like French toast with bacon and homeade apricot jam. I’m headed for a run, dear.” See if your husband will deal with this nonsense.

Yes, the host house thing makes sense, as they consider it an extension of the house they own. The demanding you cook part is weird, and you simply don't do it, or make your husband do it. THis is the one thing your husband asks for so you will have to figure out how to make this work.

I also get the impression that you think you are better than them because you get up early and exercise. There is an overtone of self-righteousness regarding this that oozes from your post. And it is odd that you specified what kind of sandwiches they poached. Like, we would be on your side because they where Hawaiian rolls and ham, but turkey on wheat would be ok for them to take? Have you been drinking?

Sounds like you are a lazy non exerciser who probably eats too much.

Oh please. Most of this drama is occurring at breakfast when OP and her husband are out at 5 am running and doing yoga. Anyone who’s getting up at 5 am on vacation to go running is super uptight and controlling, hence the angst with people popping in chaotically all the time. These two groups should not vacation together.

I would rather hang out with the exercisers. How are they controlling getting their workout in before it gets too hot for the day? You are not even out of bed yet so do don’t see any control issues. They are healthy and the others are waking up demanding someone cook food so they can stuff their faces. Gross!

I’m sorry you’re so insecure. I hope you feel better soon. Insert childish laughing emoji here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone in this situation is ridiculous. Honestly, if there is a family beach home and a second home is rented next door that is much larger, I can 100% see family assuming that the larger house is the “hang out” house and the smaller house is the “just go sleep there house.” In a family full of normal people, this could totally work fine.

But people thinking they can demand others cook for them, feed their kids, etc are crazy. If your husband thinks this is cool, I would put every demand back on him. “Your sister would like French toast with bacon and homeade apricot jam. I’m headed for a run, dear.” See if your husband will deal with this nonsense.

Yes, the host house thing makes sense, as they consider it an extension of the house they own. The demanding you cook part is weird, and you simply don't do it, or make your husband do it. THis is the one thing your husband asks for so you will have to figure out how to make this work.

I also get the impression that you think you are better than them because you get up early and exercise. There is an overtone of self-righteousness regarding this that oozes from your post. And it is odd that you specified what kind of sandwiches they poached. Like, we would be on your side because they where Hawaiian rolls and ham, but turkey on wheat would be ok for them to take? Have you been drinking?

Sounds like you are a lazy non exerciser who probably eats too much.

Sounds like you are a smug fool like OP.

That post wasn't long considering it took place over 2 weeks. Your kid doesn't need to know the code to the beach house.
.
You guys don't vacation the same so you shouldn't vacation together. I agree with a previous poster, getting up at 5am to excercise during a vacation represents a personality trait that clashes with someone who sleeps until 10. Nothing wrong with either trait.

I would be mad at the inlaws for looking down on my wine then drinking it all. Why not suggest to your husband that he do this trip annually without you and you go on a more relaxing vacation as a family later in the year with your sister? Or you go and stay with the kid for a long weekend and go home and let him stay longer. He probably won't be up at 5am running if you aren't there. No way your family of origin is that relaxed and you don't have the trait.

Damn OP. I feel for you, good luck.

At the very least I hope you can get on the same page as your husband so there is a better plan for next year.

If it were me, there would be no next year.

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like inlaws have assumed that you and your dh have assumed the role of the previous grandparents with the large house who (I assume) did everything they are now asking of you.

Does your dh secretly want to take over from the grandparents with a larger house and be the "big man" who treats everyone and you have to help him? Because that's what it sounds like.

I agree, but even then, it is super weird to demand a big breakfast. Although that does not really ring true. How could they demand to eat food that was not there. If OP’s family eats simple breakfasts, why would there be food to make all that stuff?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who the hell gets up at 5am to go running on vacation?

Lol, before I married my husband I made him confirm "your family isn't crazy right? Like, you don't all get up and run a marathon on Thanksgiving morning for fun, do you?"

This. So this. OP you are just as crazy as they are. Match made in heaven.