Anonymous wrote:OP here: So much judgment, so few solutions Regardless, I love you all fellow humans.
What do you all think about a nanny that we pre-screen with the question "Would you be able to stay with a baby 24/7 for 7-10 days twice per year?". It appears to be the least stressful situation for the baby. since it's the same person.

I don't know where you live, but in most places you would have to pay time and half or something similar after 8+ hours/day, so 7-10 days 24/7 would be really really expensive. If you can afford it, fine. But either way that a long time away from both parents for a kid under 6 months. Is this just for a vacation or do you have some life circumstance that you need to travel like this for (like to see family abroad)? Honestly, if it's just for vacay, you need to redefine your expectations of what life as parents will look like. It may sound judgmental but I've never heard anyone expect to be away from their infant for that long.

This has to be a troll post. I think there.was.a.ridiculous Choosing Beggars (that itself was probably fiction) that went viral that this was based on.

My MIL this to DH when he was SIX WEEKS old. She was a truly terrible mother. Hopefully this is a troll but there are self centered people who are willing to do this!

OP, you should consider counseling. I am 100% serious.

I think this is obviously a troll, but the obvious solution if you’re hiring a nanny anyway is to have them travel with you. Free vacation for them, you get childcare, your baby already knows the person. Many of my friends who have a nanny travel with them.

Stop listening to people giving you crap. Good for you that you're prioritizing your identities and your marriage. Yes, that's a bit young; maybe downsize the trip to a long weekend. But something of the sort can be done in a thoughtful way.

-When you say you have no family, do you really mean you're both orphans with no siblings? I bet you have a sister or an aunt or something who'd be willing to watch the child or tag along to help out.

-If you end up hiring a nanny -- a really good one -- she could come with you.

-Try a hotel with nanny services. A lot of luxury resorts have them and they're starting to come back post-pandemic.

Man all of you are so gullible.

OP, no decent nanny will agree to this. Anyone who does, is not someone you want watching your child. I know tons of parents who leave their kids with their nanny for a few days at a time, but never at 4 months old! And never for 8 days, and never with just one caregiver. I cannot fathom any nanny worth hiring would agree to such an insane scenario. My DH took a long business trip when my first was that age and it was hard enough for me to manage alone and I was the baby’s mother! You would need two nannies to make this work - a lot of babies go through the ‘4 month wakeful’ when they are out of the sleepy newborn stage and have a harder time sleeping at night. One person alone with a stranger’s baby, potentially getting very little sleep and no help, ever, for over a week? Not a good plan.

If you hate your baby so much that you are already planning two 7-10 day vacations before s/he is even here, give the baby up for adoption. If you leave for that long at that age, the baby won’t remember you when you come back anyway. Maybe just sell the baby when you’re ready for the trip?

It is hard to describe just how much you will want to be near your baby. I didn't understand it until it happened to me. It took a few days for me to bond with my first DC. But when it hit, I had to have her near me. If, for any reason, I had to leave her, I longed to be near her. It is a powerful thing. The hormones will kick in and most likely, you are not going to want to leave your baby for that long. Nature designed us this way for a reason. Children that young should not be separated from their primary caretakers for that long.

I'm going to bookmark this thread and see if OP can come back in 6 months.

You either take your baby or you don't go in vacation.

Congratulations, your life has changed. Enjoy your vacation with your baby!

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry. What?

+1

I travel a lot. I either travel with a relative and pay all expenses or go with the nanny. You are not going to want to leave your young infant for that long. Just hire a nanny and pay whatever you have to or travel with a trusted relative.

OMFG