Anonymous wrote:I doubt OP is still reading this, but I tell it to as many people as I can: Plan B doesn’t work after you’ve ovulated. It is NOT a reliable back up to condoms. Tell your daughters this, tell your friends.

Correct- I have a 13 year old.that is a plan B baby!

I doubt OP is still reading this, but I tell it to as many people as I can: Plan B doesn’t work after you’ve ovulated. It is NOT a reliable back up to condoms. Tell your daughters this, tell your friends.

OP, if you're still reading this thread: Please look up "stealthing" because it's possible that's what happened to you with the guy when the condom "broke." Did you see the break yourself? Because he might have just pulled off the condom without asking or telling you.

If he didn't, to be really blunt, some guy eventually might do this to you, especially as you seem determined to be sexually active and don't always know your partners very well.

This is why you need to be on actual birth control that YOU take, and not use only condoms. Look up stealthing. It's rapidly becoming a crime in many places. It is a form of sexual assault.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are going to keep it messy as long as you are being polite with him. Have some boundaries and tell him to honor them too. You probably think it is good to do all this but it is confusing kids a lot more than you think. You are divorced and only have business relationship with him.

I don’t think it’s being polite that’s the problem. It’s the dating and sex cat and mouse game with him that are probably kind of confusing.

I don’t even think it’s that. It sounds like he knows OP is a sure thing when he needs some fun.

This is the stuff I would expect and saw from my brother and his girlfriend who were teen parents. Thankfully both are now late twenties and much more mature. I will pray for your kids. You need to be more selective with who you sleep with and introduce to your kids.

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are going to keep it messy as long as you are being polite with him. Have some boundaries and tell him to honor them too. You probably think it is good to do all this but it is confusing kids a lot more than you think. You are divorced and only have business relationship with him.

I don’t think it’s being polite that’s the problem. It’s the dating and sex cat and mouse game with him that are probably kind of confusing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - we’re a lot of women in our 40s and yes some of us are clutching our pearls reading your message. You are doing a great job. Good for you for seeking therapy, and trying your best to navigate a relationship with X DH. It took me years before I was able to put up a real boundary with my X DH. I would second not bringing anyone to your fathers wedding - even if he’s introduced as a friend with no kissing it’s a little too soon, and a lot of pressure to put on a new guy.

+1 I would wait 6-12 months before introducing anyone to your kids despite what your ex has done - this is coming from someone whose mom introduced her kids too early and those relationships didn’t last (I also knew these “friends” were not just friends even though I was young). I also suggest taking things slow with the new guy and not take him to the wedding but it’s fine to have sex with him. And ignore some of the judgmental comments.

+1

No need to hurry to bring someone to the wedding. OP, you seem very impatient with guys. Why do you think you really need a guy and can't be alone for a few months?

Op, you are going to keep it messy as long as you are being polite with him. Have some boundaries and tell him to honor them too. You probably think it is good to do all this but it is confusing kids a lot more than you think. You are divorced and only have business relationship with him.

Anonymous wrote:OP - we’re a lot of women in our 40s and yes some of us are clutching our pearls reading your message. You are doing a great job. Good for you for seeking therapy, and trying your best to navigate a relationship with X DH. It took me years before I was able to put up a real boundary with my X DH. I would second not bringing anyone to your fathers wedding - even if he’s introduced as a friend with no kissing it’s a little too soon, and a lot of pressure to put on a new guy.

+1 I would wait 6-12 months before introducing anyone to your kids despite what your ex has done - this is coming from someone whose mom introduced her kids too early and those relationships didn’t last (I also knew these “friends” were not just friends even though I was young). I also suggest taking things slow with the new guy and not take him to the wedding but it’s fine to have sex with him. And ignore some of the judgmental comments.

Ghetto fabulous. You two are two peas in a pod, for sure.

Anonymous wrote:You both need to get your shit together. . Sorry for your kids.

And PS it wasn't an accident he finished before pulling out. You can't afford to be naive about men .

This. Can you say hot mess?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good fences make good neighbors. You need better boundaries with your ex and don’t be leaving the Plan B box on the kitchen counter!).

This exactly.
What of one of your kids saw it?
No matter that they're in pre-school, pre-school is age 4 & 5... kids know how to Google at 5.

Or took the empty box to daycare to use as a prop in the housekeeping corner.