Anonymous wrote:Gave me a copy of “Sarah, Plain and Tall.”

My name is Sarah and I am very tall.

I dont think this is cruel

I have a physical disability that affects how I walk. While we were walking down the sidewalk one day she said "stop doing that... you're embarrassing me!"

Anonymous wrote:My beloved fiancé died suddenly right before our wedding. At the time, my mother had had two strokes and was unable to come to DC for his funeral, but we were able to have caregivers stay with her and my dad came to DC. A few weeks later, I flew to see her. We had always been very close, and I had been managing her care long distance for several years. I just wanted to be with my family in my grief. She couldn’t acknowledge my loss at all and made it about herself. She actually said, « you are young (I was actually 38, so not so young) and will have other chances to love someone, but this was our only chance to have grandchildren. It is our loss. » i knew she was frail by then, but I was in the rawest stage of grief, and it hurts to this day.

I’m so sorry.

My beloved fiancé died suddenly right before our wedding. At the time, my mother had had two strokes and was unable to come to DC for his funeral, but we were able to have caregivers stay with her and my dad came to DC. A few weeks later, I flew to see her. We had always been very close, and I had been managing her care long distance for several years. I just wanted to be with my family in my grief. She couldn’t acknowledge my loss at all and made it about herself. She actually said, « you are young (I was actually 38, so not so young) and will have other chances to love someone, but this was our only chance to have grandchildren. It is our loss. » i knew she was frail by then, but I was in the rawest stage of grief, and it hurts to this day.

"You should try getting in shape over the summer, you don't want to start high school looking like a porker."

Anonymous wrote:“That never happened.” Yes Mom, yes it did.

For me this was more painful than any of the mean things my mother ever said or did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom would:

Routinely throw full glasses or plates of food at me at meal times and then scream at/hit me until I cleaned up her mess.
Go on Joan Crawford-style rampages and destroy my room - drawers emptied on to the floor, my things broken, smashed, etc.
Give me a small suitcase and tell me to pack b/c she was kicking me out - this started when I was around 4 - and then lock me out of the house.
Hit, scratch, pull my hair, lie, gaslight, drive exceedingly recklessly... all to intimidate and frighten me into her control.
Ruin nearly every personal milestone of mine by throwing tantrums and making it all about her.

I could go on and on...

I can relate to so many of the posts, but the bolded really rings true for me, too. And the more important the milestone (ivy league law school graduation, birth of first child, etc.), the more she made it all about her.

My mom is an alcoholic and fortunately never said anything hurtful in her drunkenness (more the opposite, actually- she gets very mushy)...but yeah, I've had way too many big events ruined by her drinking too much. The kicker was my college graduation when she snuck a drink in in a opaque water bottle, got drunk, and choked on a piece of steak when we went out to eat afterwards. She turned blue and a random stranger had to do CPR on her. It was extremely traumatic to watch her almost die in front of my eyes on what should've been one of the happiest days.

For the last few years, whenever I would confide in my mother that I was having a tough time parenting my children, she would reply" well you were a nightmare and paybacks are he!! so you get what you deserve."

I actually was a very obedient child and a normal teen (got in some trouble, but not a lot, had perfect grades, a job, etc).

Another one of her favorite phrases would be "well, who is hurting your DC? DC wouldn't act like that unless someone was hurting her. Are you hurting her? You're DC's mother, you should know whether someone is hurting DC and be doing something about it, not complaining to me?" My mother was inferring that someone was abusing or bullying my DC, all of the time, and that it was probably me doing it. It was completely ludicrous and made me paranoid.

She would bring these phrases up repeatedly, so after a few years I just stopped sharing anything of substance with her. I would then confide in my father, who was always a great listener and supportive. He gave the best pep talks. I sometimes needed to vent or ask for advice. Unfortunately, my father passed away suddenly last fall. So now I have no one.

Anonymous wrote:Gave me a copy of “Sarah, Plain and Tall.”

My name is Sarah and I am very tall.

Um…Sarah is a character to look up to. The entire book is about how much the children love her and hope she won’t leave. Have you read the other contributions to this thread?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tmi. I was 7-8. She was doing laundry and came across one of my underwear in the hamper. It had a "bacon streak" in it. She freaked out and started counting the underwear and only counted 5 instead of 7. She went all mommy dearest screaming why weren't there 7 etc. She then took the dirty underwear and hung it up in the front yard crotch side out, for all the neighbors to see.

I think that is really strange and still think about it once in a while, as I'm doing my children's laundry. She liked to humiliate.

I’m so sorry. I used to babysit a little girl and I found a bunch of underwear shoved in her closet. I went to put them in her hamper and she said no, because her mom gets mad and puts her nose in the underwear. I will never forget her sad face when she told me. I went and washed them out for her so she wouldn’t be embarrassed. The thing of it all, her mom is a kindergarten teacher. Every time I see the mom on social media I think about her Daughter and that whole thing.

Omg I'm the one who posted the tmi. After that for years if any of my underwear became marked I would hide it in the back of my close. The problem was after several months is be short on underwear. So is then take my lunch money and start saving it (and not buy much) and I'd sneak off to the store to buy some underwear. But I couldn't find a match and could only find a set of three with some pink decoration at the top. So I took a seam ripper from home ec class and secretly would try to remove the decorative stitching to make the underwear less conspicuous. I was 10 at the time and had been so traumatized by the experience that even a couple years later I was scared if her mommy dearest underwear episodes. I don't know why I just didn't use the washer but she was always around so that was probably why. I still don't know what was psychologically wrong with her to so this.

I feel like the worst thing isn’t even that bad.

My mom is very very gas lighty, and laughs it off. Growing up she would tell me, I said XYZ. I would tell her no that didn’t happen. And she would be so mad at me. Then she would laugh and say “ oh I must have had that conversation in my head!”

She is also a labor and delivery nurse. After I had my fist child, I had severe severe ppd ppa. To the point where I didn’t want to go to the hospital because I was convinced they would take my child. My mom was staying with us for a few months at the time because my husband was gone for work. It took me MONTHS to realize I had ppa ppd and I needed to seek help. I remember telling her what was going on and she said “yeah, I know you had ppd.” I suffered for months and months rattled with thoughts of ending my life. She knew and didn’t encourage me to get help or tell my husband how bad it was.

'If you want to die, then go kill yourself...' then proceeded to tell me how.

I had been diagnosed with depression/anxiety/ptsd. Haven't experienced any of the symptoms since moving out.

Anonymous wrote:Tmi. I was 7-8. She was doing laundry and came across one of my underwear in the hamper. It had a "bacon streak" in it. She freaked out and started counting the underwear and only counted 5 instead of 7. She went all mommy dearest screaming why weren't there 7 etc. She then took the dirty underwear and hung it up in the front yard crotch side out, for all the neighbors to see.

I think that is really strange and still think about it once in a while, as I'm doing my children's laundry. She liked to humiliate.

I’m so sorry. I used to babysit a little girl and I found a bunch of underwear shoved in her closet. I went to put them in her hamper and she said no, because her mom gets mad and puts her nose in the underwear. I will never forget her sad face when she told me. I went and washed them out for her so she wouldn’t be embarrassed. The thing of it all, her mom is a kindergarten teacher. Every time I see the mom on social media I think about her Daughter and that whole thing.

"I'm not driving you to the hospital in this weather and I'm not paying for an ambulance. You'll be fine." When I fell and needed stitches in my head. Yes we had health insurance.

A week later she had a nurse friend look at it, who said it should have had stitches, but better go-to the doctor because she thought it looked infected. Even then she refused to take me to the doctor. I just had an open wound on my head for a long time.

We weren't poor. We had health insurance. She just decided to dog in her her heels on this one. I will always remember how insignificant I felt when she said she refused to drive me to the hospital or call an ambulance.

My mom has said I’m an embarrassment to the family because I cried when my dad was having a mental health issue at Christmas dinner in front of our children and None of the issues I’ve expressed to her are “major issues” and that I just need to let everything go because Jesus said to forgive

She also will never acknowledge any success I have or had and demands/expects me to care for her despite the insane lack of respect or love for me.