When we were in the thick of raising a not-yet diagnosed neurodiverse toddler and an infant, my SIL (who had 1 neurotypical 1 year old) told me that I was a terrible parent, my MIL agreed, and my SIL’s friends didn’t feel comfortable around us. I was at a really vulnerable point in my life and it took me a long time to realize that that comment said a lot more about her than it did about me, but it still stings.

My son had three accidents the year he was eight, each of which resulted in a broken arm or sprain. I swear I am a good parent and they were really accidents: the first was when he fell off his bike outside and broke his wrist, the second was when he was fell on his other arm while playing soccer with his friend, and the third was when he slipped in the shower and sprained his ankle somehow.

Another mom told me that “there has been talk” about his injuries and then she asked me if I’m feeling OK, and if I’ve been stressed. The implication was clear: she thought I was hurting my child, and apparently had discussed it with others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Me: “How is Larla liking her new middle school?”

Other mom/neighbor: “She loves it! We hope your [neurotypical] child joins next year. She really has what it takes!” Then adding, “But we don’t recommend it for your [HFA child]. It would not be a good school for her. It would be a really hard place for her and not a good fit.”

***

Follow-up: My HFA child is at the same school, in accelerated classes and in the top 5 percent of the class academically. (Neighbor’s kids are not.)

I totally would tell her all that as a follow up to her “concern.”

I don’t need to. The school has an awards ceremony. She can figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"What do you do all day?"

At a fancy dinner party at my ILs when MIL stated that I stayed home with my 2 and 4 year olds and had household help. One of the guests asked this, who I had just met.

Tbh, I’d wonder this, too, though I would never say it out loud. But I’m poor by DCUM standards and envious.

I’d wonder this too, but I am not poor and could easily afford to SAH (with a FT nanny). But I find it a pathetic lifestyle, barring an SN child or similar extenuating circumstances.

Another mean thing said by a mom, in a thread about mean things said by moms! Classic.

Anonymous wrote:Me: “How is Larla liking her new middle school?”

Other mom/neighbor: “She loves it! We hope your [neurotypical] child joins next year. She really has what it takes!” Then adding, “But we don’t recommend it for your [HFA child]. It would not be a good school for her. It would be a really hard place for her and not a good fit.”

***

Follow-up: My HFA child is at the same school, in accelerated classes and in the top 5 percent of the class academically. (Neighbor’s kids are not.)

I totally would tell her all that as a follow up to her “concern.”

A bunch of mean things about how I didn’t breastfeed (I tried pretty hard to make it work but I never produced enough milk) and how I could never have the same “unshakable bond” with my child as she has with hers. Flash forward a few years and her kid is a tween with a lotttt of problems. Also she got breast cancer. I sometimes wonder if she thinks back on all the awful things she said to people, specifically about how breastfeeding lowers your risk of breast cancer.

That my son had down syndrome because of his eyes and I was irresponsible for having him (seriously). He doesn't have DS. And if he did, we would love him just the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"What do you do all day?"

At a fancy dinner party at my ILs when MIL stated that I stayed home with my 2 and 4 year olds and had household help. One of the guests asked this, who I had just met.

Tbh, I’d wonder this, too, though I would never say it out loud. But I’m poor by DCUM standards and envious.

Honestly? Same. That was my first thought when I read this one. I freely admit I'm envious.

Me: “How is Larla liking her new middle school?”

Other mom/neighbor: “She loves it! We hope your [neurotypical] child joins next year. She really has what it takes!” Then adding, “But we don’t recommend it for your [HFA child]. It would not be a good school for her. It would be a really hard place for her and not a good fit.”

***

Follow-up: My HFA child is at the same school, in accelerated classes and in the top 5 percent of the class academically. (Neighbor’s kids are not.)

Anonymous wrote:"What do you do all day?"

At a fancy dinner party at my ILs when MIL stated that I stayed home with my 2 and 4 year olds and had household help. One of the guests asked this, who I had just met.

Tbh, I’d wonder this, too, though I would never say it out loud. But I’m poor by DCUM standards and envious.

Anonymous wrote:"Your daughter's skin is so light. She looks white. You never know what skin color they are going to be."

So many times I’ve heard versions of this about my son. Funny how no one says it when DH is around… And how some people make it sound like they’re giving a compliment.

Anonymous wrote:"What do you do all day?"

At a fancy dinner party at my ILs when MIL stated that I stayed home with my 2 and 4 year olds and had household help. One of the guests asked this, who I had just met.

How did you respond?

Anonymous wrote:Upon excitedly announcing to my MIL that I was expecting our 3rd baby after a DS and DD:

“Was this an accident?”

When I told my mother I was expecting my second, she said "I thought I talked you out of that."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We had an amnio because we didn’t want to bring a child into the world who couldn’t take care of itself.”

We had an amnio too. Our children were both 3 at the time.

I am missing what's wrong with this. I am sorry.

My child has a rare genetic condition.

Anonymous wrote:You all are fortunate if that has been the worst said to you.

I posted once earlier and I have not included racist/sexist remarks because I know what OP is asking for. Don’t be condescending.