Choose a childcare center that is more of a school. The teachers will have degrees, be more professional, and likely live right in your neighborhood… builds community and trust to be in an environment like that. I don’t agree that hiring a nanny is better/safer. There is a lot of oversight in licensed childcare centers/schools that just doesn’t exist when you hire someone to come to your house. There is also a strong community piece that comes from having children in preschool. Sharing the experience with other parents is fun… holiday shows, field trips, etc. You’ll be invited to birthday parties and play dates. Lots of fun ahead, try to focus on that!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Yes, I drive, and I know the risks with everything else: driving, riding a bike...

I do appreciate the concrete ideas...a full time nanny is out of the question $$$....and doesn't totally help, because nanny's can murder kids also.

I am looking into a center vs in home with one caretaker, because that makes me nervous (who is coming and going)?

Center!!!! We did nanny, in home, and center, and in home was by far the worst experience.

And we pulled our kids out of a center and had a wonderful experience with an in-home caregiver who continued to be like a grandmother to our kids for years after they aged out and went to school.

Anonymous wrote:I was far more comfortable with a licensed center than an in-home or individual provider. I wanted multiple eyes on my kid all day, including inspections and certification requirements.

We asked around, did visits, and ended up at a center near our home that I’d been walking by and seeing the providers and kids interact for years. My impression that it was safe and living was right-my kids thrived there. We still see staff from there around the neighborhood and they’re excited to see my kids (who are 8 and 11, so it’s been years since they were there.)

I agree with the above reply post. I also prefer a quality licensed center or school with regulations/rules/guidelines in place over an in-home daycare or nanny. I like that there are usually 2-3 teachers supervising the kids - multiple eyes watching the kids & multiple teachers holding each other accountable for their actions. There are state websites to check violations or complaints. I think your concerns are understandable as there are some bad apples (untrustworthy daycares/nannies). However, you may feel more at ease once you find a trustworthy quality licensed center with nurturing warm teachers who genuinely care about & love children (not ones who just need a paycheck). It may be a good sign if the school has teachers who have been at the school for 20 years (low teacher turn over). If you do research and tour the schools in person to meet teachers & staff, perhaps you may find one that will put you at ease. You could also start with half days (9-12 pm) and change the schedule to full day once you trust the teachers & school. You could also start your kids a little later like when they can walk or talk.

Lots of judgy, unhelpful, and fearmongering responses on here.

Staying at home is great. Nannies are great. Daycares are great. Children don’t have drastically better outcomes with any one of these versus the others. Do what works for your family.

I’ve done all of the above and I will briefly defend the daycare over nanny preference. It’s mainly that I feel more comfortable with other people supervising my children in environments that are built for small children with minimal hazards. State regulations surrounding feeding and sleep are helpful too. There are some daycare horror stories out there but they are rare in regulated states with licensing and especially if you can look up the center’s history of inspection. For sure there is a huge quality range.

I don’t love infant care of any kind of wish everyone had a year of maternity leave, but I’m basically a socialist. And at the end of the day it’s fine.

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think my daughter's lead daycare teacher does a better job taking care of her than I do, or at least, is more patient and gentle.

And as far as safety goes, they are vigilant about documenting any injuries, even something as minor as tripping and scraping a knee. I've always felt safe with her there. They do have camera streaming, as many daycares in the area do. I don't usually watch it anymore but it is comforting to many.

I'm getting tired of the COVID quarantines and could use a bit less caution, to be honest!

No, they really aren’t that vigilant or loving but daycares do as good a job as they possibly can. And are safe. If this is all OP can afford than she’s just going to have to look for the best one possible. And remember that daycare doesn’t want your kid injured either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that many are telling the OP she needs therapy when the desire to take care of your own baby/infant/toddler is probably more normal and basic than the desire to have someone else do it.

But OP isn’t talking about her desire or need to care for her own baby. She’s talking about being afraid something will happen to him if she isn’t with him. That’s definitely something she needs to get over or it’s going to screw up her kid.

Exactly. And it causes problems down the road. The kids eventually start resenting the mom. My own mother was like this. Would talk about how she didn’t want “strangers” raising her kids. Looking back, she had extreme anxiety and I would have greatly benefited from my mom having a life outside of just taking care of me. I feel very bad for her that she didn’t have anyone to tell her this or encourage her to get a life. It also wasn’t good for me to be so sheltered and isolated.

I honestly think my daughter's lead daycare teacher does a better job taking care of her than I do, or at least, is more patient and gentle.

And as far as safety goes, they are vigilant about documenting any injuries, even something as minor as tripping and scraping a knee. I've always felt safe with her there. They do have camera streaming, as many daycares in the area do. I don't usually watch it anymore but it is comforting to many.

I'm getting tired of the COVID quarantines and could use a bit less caution, to be honest!

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that many are telling the OP she needs therapy when the desire to take care of your own baby/infant/toddler is probably more normal and basic than the desire to have someone else do it.

But OP isn’t talking about her desire or need to care for her own baby. She’s talking about being afraid something will happen to him if she isn’t with him. That’s definitely something she needs to get over or it’s going to screw up her kid.