I have been married for 13 years and I have NO IDEA how often my MIL washes her hands while cooking. I don't care.

You have weird issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make it a new, Covid-clear requirement

PP who wrote the essay about “marking the program here.” Believe me, I tried this. MIL was good for a day or two before going to old ways. FIL basically told DH and I that God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt, and still licks his hands all the darn time. So I do what I need to do to feed myself and my kids, I have no expectations of cleanliness from my ILs, and when FIL “insists” on putting my bagel in the toaster and will not leave my food alone even when directly asked to do so, I go get a granola bar and eat it in front of him.

Oh god, not you again.

Found a finger-lickin’ IL!

I don't cook for my in-laws, but I definitely don't hover over them in the kitchen, looking for infractions. Do any of you ever eat out? MUCH MUCH worse goes on in commercial kitchens, I promise you. You just don't see it.

Yes but the not seeing it part is essential. Eating isn't just a matter of food on a plate going into your mouth, with no context. It's a whole experience - where you're eating, who you're eating with, etc, and it all shapes your feelings about the meal. If there are things that unavoidably take you out of the enjoyment - like foul, truly foul, hygiene issues that are right there in front of your face - you can't help but have that affect how you feel about the food. You can certainly work yourself up into not being able to eat in a restaurant too - but at least most restaurants have the good sense to have the kitchens closed off from view.

Anonymous wrote:Meh. I don’t really wash my hands much at home either. After the bathroom for #2 and after handling raw meat and that’s about it. My family and I have all survived.

+1. And I sit on the toilet seats in public restrooms

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make it a new, Covid-clear requirement

PP who wrote the essay about “marking the program here.” Believe me, I tried this. MIL was good for a day or two before going to old ways. FIL basically told DH and I that God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt, and still licks his hands all the darn time. So I do what I need to do to feed myself and my kids, I have no expectations of cleanliness from my ILs, and when FIL “insists” on putting my bagel in the toaster and will not leave my food alone even when directly asked to do so, I go get a granola bar and eat it in front of him.

Oh god, not you again.

Found a finger-lickin’ IL!

I don't cook for my in-laws, but I definitely don't hover over them in the kitchen, looking for infractions. Do any of you ever eat out? MUCH MUCH worse goes on in commercial kitchens, I promise you. You just don't see it.

DP. I read the other thread as someone posted it here. (It was quite entertaining!) My takeaway was that it was about disrespect, not actually about food safety. When you communicate to someone that you want to handle your own food, and they go out of their way to not only ignore you, but to control your food? That’s a no. That’s disrespectful, controlling and rude. I’m glad the poster of that thread didn’t stand for it and found ways to work around it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make it a new, Covid-clear requirement

PP who wrote the essay about “marking the program here.” Believe me, I tried this. MIL was good for a day or two before going to old ways. FIL basically told DH and I that God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt, and still licks his hands all the darn time. So I do what I need to do to feed myself and my kids, I have no expectations of cleanliness from my ILs, and when FIL “insists” on putting my bagel in the toaster and will not leave my food alone even when directly asked to do so, I go get a granola bar and eat it in front of him.

Oh god, not you again.

Found a finger-lickin’ IL!

I don't cook for my in-laws, but I definitely don't hover over them in the kitchen, looking for infractions. Do any of you ever eat out? MUCH MUCH worse goes on in commercial kitchens, I promise you. You just don't see it.

Anonymous wrote:In our situation, they don’t wash cutting boards between foods. I mean raw chicken then veggies. One person in our family has an immune condition and was constantly getting sick when eating over there. We finally figured out it was likely from the cross-contamination and they system not able to handle the bacteria. They also use those gross thin kitchen sink towels to clean everything. I think they use the same one for 20 years! Has a slimy texture and stinks. Plastic party cups are rinsed but not washed and then reused. I mean I could go on and on.

Yuck, sorry but I would never eat food there again. That’s downright negligent and dangerous. It’s also my biggest fear in the kitchen and why I don’t allow my husband to cook chicken in our kitchen anymore because he cross contaminates without thinking.

In our situation, they don’t wash cutting boards between foods. I mean raw chicken then veggies. One person in our family has an immune condition and was constantly getting sick when eating over there. We finally figured out it was likely from the cross-contamination and they system not able to handle the bacteria. They also use those gross thin kitchen sink towels to clean everything. I think they use the same one for 20 years! Has a slimy texture and stinks. Plastic party cups are rinsed but not washed and then reused. I mean I could go on and on.

I can relate, op. My mil is a finger licker and serves food with her hands. My husband picks food out of his molars with his fingers while eating at the table.

I’ve said something to my husband but would never say anything to my MIL.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a Germ a phobe. If you pay attention, like I was yesterday at the grill, most people touch raw meat then don’t wash hands. Then touch other things or put the cooked meat back on the raw meat platter. It’s disgusting.

It is so gross when people use the same plate the raw meat was on to transport the cooked meat back to the table/serve. Not everyone gets this, but I sure do.

I’m a Germ a phobe. If you pay attention, like I was yesterday at the grill, most people touch raw meat then don’t wash hands. Then touch other things or put the cooked meat back on the raw meat platter. It’s disgusting.

OP, I am here to validate you! It's surprising how many others here don't get it. After reading your posts, my stomach turns in solidarity with you!

I’d get my DH to address it with his parents if they were this negligent with hand washing. It’s bad for everyone’s health, including their own.

Why do you have to eat at all? Why not just fast when you're at ILs?

My DH does this thing where he picks his teeth at the dinner table. It always males my stomach turn and I lose my appetite. Instead of getting mad at my H and his bad manners, I silently thank him in my head for helping me maintain my trim figure.

Anonymous wrote:So my in laws never wash their hands. And I mean like never. My mother in law loves to cook but I told my husband I don’t want to eat their food anymore. We agreed on me just eating hot foods only. Do you agree with this? Their uncleanliness really grosses me out. Should I say anything? I’m over for Memorial Day and just can’t bare to eat here anymore

No. I could not stand this and would eat nothing that was prepared by her. What difference does it make if it's hot? Her hands prepared the food. Nope. Just thinking about this makes me I'll. Yes, I would say something and I know this is a delicate situation. It gives me the heeby jebbies.

Anonymous wrote:my in-laws don't wash their hands in the bathroom. I suspected it and then tested it out by making a small black dot on their hand soap dispenser in their bathroom. Sure enough, next time I went over there (A MONTH LATER) the soap only went down like a centimeter. gross!

I live alone and refill my soap dispenser multiple times in a week. If you’d tested me, you might have found the soap level higher than your dot. That would not mean that I had washed my hands negative times.

I know from DCUM that some people don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom, which I agree is stomach-turning disgusting. If your in-laws are among these, you have my sympathy. I just don’t think the black dot test is definitive proof.