Anonymous wrote:Would you feel insulted if a man proposed to you with a cheap engagement ring? Like under $10000 and he makes 300-400k.

Using the average 3-4 weeks, The ring should be 23k-30k

on average Americans do 3-4 weeks gross salary. Don't listen to the 3 month salary that's outdated.

Anonymous wrote:I posted about this before but a friend of ours proposed with a cheap ring on purpose so he could judge if his girlfriend (of 4 years!) was materialistic. He said she’d agree to marry him even with a cheap ring. It was also an ugly ring in a yellow gold setting and wasn’t a pear like she liked. She dumped him. She said her proposal wasn’t the time for him to be setting a trap for her. She was pissed that he’d take a romantic moment and turn it into some weird anti materialistic stance. He made over 150k (so did she). We all agreed with her and thought it was particularly nasty and cheap of him. She said she would have said yes to the proposal if there hadn’t been a ring. She didn’t care about how much he’d spent.

That would be beyond frustrating. I dated a man like this for 5 years but he would test my loyalty (e.g. asked his model friend to flirt with me early in our relationship to see if I’d flirt back or hookup). He was from a Middle Eastern country and was very jealous. Anyways, did your friend find someone after and get the ring, proposal and marriage she wanted?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted about this before but a friend of ours proposed with a cheap ring on purpose so he could judge if his girlfriend (of 4 years!) was materialistic. He said she’d agree to marry him even with a cheap ring. It was also an ugly ring in a yellow gold setting and wasn’t a pear like she liked. She dumped him. She said her proposal wasn’t the time for him to be setting a trap for her. She was pissed that he’d take a romantic moment and turn it into some weird anti materialistic stance. He made over 150k (so did she). We all agreed with her and thought it was particularly nasty and cheap of him. She said she would have said yes to the proposal if there hadn’t been a ring. She didn’t care about how much he’d spent.

She dodged a bullet.

+1; He sounds like a jerk. He could have gone with a sentimental piece like his mother's ring. Or an inexpensive ring in a design she fancied. Or no rings like in Asia as it isn't a piece of metal that keeps you from cheating. Some men string along the honest kind women who don't manipulate them. Then marry the first golddigger they can find. Read the Johnny Depp thread.

Sounds like both of you are very materialistic. Buy your own ring.

I don’t think you read the PP. this has nothing to do with OP’s question or materialism. It’s the fact the BF used an engagement as an occasion to “test” his potential fiancé. It’s a petty and antagonistic move, not one done out of live.

My husband proposed to me with a fake ring off Amazon. He knew I didn't want a ring but he felt weird proposing with nothing. It was kind of funny because I was like "why did he buy a riiing, what a waste of money when I didn't even want it" (in my head) and then after I said yes I was upset it didn't fit. Emotional rollercoaster!

If she wants a ring pick it out together (or at least discuss it beforehand). If she wants a ring at a certain price point to prove your love . . . I'm not sure I'd respect that.

We paid 3k for my ring on a 280k HHI and that’s the most expensive I wanted. It’s a custom band with an antique diamond (almost a full carat) and I love it! Took me some time to find the right combo and price. Seemed silly spending more $.

youre crazy, take the 10k ring and enjoy it. maybe you shouldnt be getting engaged if you have these issues

Anonymous wrote:I always said I'd rather have an engagement car than an engagement ring. 😂

OP, do you actually love the guy, the person, the human from whom you expect a ring? The answer to that question will tell you how much you should care about the ring.

Yes, this!

DH proposed with a ring under $900. We are still together despite the many rocks on the road.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted about this before but a friend of ours proposed with a cheap ring on purpose so he could judge if his girlfriend (of 4 years!) was materialistic. He said she’d agree to marry him even with a cheap ring. It was also an ugly ring in a yellow gold setting and wasn’t a pear like she liked. She dumped him. She said her proposal wasn’t the time for him to be setting a trap for her. She was pissed that he’d take a romantic moment and turn it into some weird anti materialistic stance. He made over 150k (so did she). We all agreed with her and thought it was particularly nasty and cheap of him. She said she would have said yes to the proposal if there hadn’t been a ring. She didn’t care about how much he’d spent.

She dodged a bullet.

+1; He sounds like a jerk. He could have gone with a sentimental piece like his mother's ring. Or an inexpensive ring in a design she fancied. Or no rings like in Asia as it isn't a piece of metal that keeps you from cheating. Some men string along the honest kind women who don't manipulate them. Then marry the first golddigger they can find. Read the Johnny Depp thread.

Sounds like both of you are very materialistic. Buy your own ring.

No rings is materialistic according to this DCUM poster.

Anonymous wrote:I posted about this before but a friend of ours proposed with a cheap ring on purpose so he could judge if his girlfriend (of 4 years!) was materialistic. He said she’d agree to marry him even with a cheap ring. It was also an ugly ring in a yellow gold setting and wasn’t a pear like she liked. She dumped him. She said her proposal wasn’t the time for him to be setting a trap for her. She was pissed that he’d take a romantic moment and turn it into some weird anti materialistic stance. He made over 150k (so did she). We all agreed with her and thought it was particularly nasty and cheap of him. She said she would have said yes to the proposal if there hadn’t been a ring. She didn’t care about how much he’d spent.

Wow. Grown-ups don't behave like he did. But the fact she and he had not talked enough about the ring beforehand (and I don't mean "she preferred a pear-shaped diamond," I mean, they clearly didn't talk about whether to have one at all, and what it meant to them) is not good, on both their parts. He should have already known if the woman to whom he was going to propose was materialistic! And she should already have known if he was the kind to set up "tests." Sounds like both were getting engaged without truly knowing each other warts and all. They don't sound like they were a solid couple even before the engagement stunt. I'm not blaming her--he's the a-hole--but they sound as if there would have been other "tests" in their marriage if she had "passed" this one. This kind of thing doesn't usually end with just one instance.

My DH proposed to me 31 years ago and surprised me with three rings from a kiddie vending machine. The kind where you put in a quarter and get out a plastic bubble with a toy ring inside. I wore the sturdiest one of them, which looked like a little gold band, as my engagement ring for a few months until we had my real (and downright cheap, by this thread's standards) ring made by my brother, who owned a jewelry shop. DH and I both thought the toy rings were hilarious. But then, he and I knew each other very well, and also knew that my brother would want to be involved regarding any rings. I still have those toy rings, though I no longer have my dear brother.

I suspect the OP of this whole thread might not find that kind of proposal funny, though. Pity.

Anonymous wrote:To be fair to OP, i can see where a small ring could be a source of stress for the wearer in their social circle. Like if you want to hang out at The Club with a bunch of pretentious b’s, your small ring might be out of place. So in that case I’d spend the money to get a great CZ or something. If that’s important to you.

But actually spending a lot on a ring seems crazy. I’d much rather have a down payment on a house.

I got a family ring and people used to tell me all the time to “make” DH buy me a ring too, but that would actually have made us not be able to buy our house. That seems ridiculous.

I have a family ring. I would have hated a new ring. I think it is beautiful and classic and it means soemthing to me that his grandmother wore it and wanted me to have it. She had plenty of other grandchildren it could have gone to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted about this before but a friend of ours proposed with a cheap ring on purpose so he could judge if his girlfriend (of 4 years!) was materialistic. He said she’d agree to marry him even with a cheap ring. It was also an ugly ring in a yellow gold setting and wasn’t a pear like she liked. She dumped him. She said her proposal wasn’t the time for him to be setting a trap for her. She was pissed that he’d take a romantic moment and turn it into some weird anti materialistic stance. He made over 150k (so did she). We all agreed with her and thought it was particularly nasty and cheap of him. She said she would have said yes to the proposal if there hadn’t been a ring. She didn’t care about how much he’d spent.

She dodged a bullet.

+1; He sounds like a jerk. He could have gone with a sentimental piece like his mother's ring. Or an inexpensive ring in a design she fancied. Or no rings like in Asia as it isn't a piece of metal that keeps you from cheating. Some men string along the honest kind women who don't manipulate them. Then marry the first golddigger they can find. Read the Johnny Depp thread.

Sounds like both of you are very materialistic. Buy your own ring.

Anonymous wrote:Would you feel insulted if a man proposed to you with a cheap engagement ring? Like under $10000 and he makes 300-400k.

Yes!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted about this before but a friend of ours proposed with a cheap ring on purpose so he could judge if his girlfriend (of 4 years!) was materialistic. He said she’d agree to marry him even with a cheap ring. It was also an ugly ring in a yellow gold setting and wasn’t a pear like she liked. She dumped him. She said her proposal wasn’t the time for him to be setting a trap for her. She was pissed that he’d take a romantic moment and turn it into some weird anti materialistic stance. He made over 150k (so did she). We all agreed with her and thought it was particularly nasty and cheap of him. She said she would have said yes to the proposal if there hadn’t been a ring. She didn’t care about how much he’d spent.

She dodged a bullet.

+1; He sounds like a jerk. He could have gone with a sentimental piece like his mother's ring. Or an inexpensive ring in a design she fancied. Or no rings like in Asia as it isn't a piece of metal that keeps you from cheating. Some men string along the honest kind women who don't manipulate them. Then marry the first golddigger they can find. Read the Johnny Depp thread.