Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 12:32     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are play dates only for small kids? My elementary kid got a lot of play dates. My 7th grade got none except for birthday party invitations. Is this normal in the private schools?


With older kids most of the time they are hanging out or socializing over social media rather than in person. They are also more busy with sports or extra curriculars. I think teens hang out in groups or at organized social events more than one on one playdates, but sometimes my 7th grader will specifically ask to have a friend over and we'll make arrangements. Since teens don't want to have as much involvement with their parents as they used to, you either have to wait for them to bring it up or just ask if they want to invite a friend over sometime.

Thank you
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 12:31     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The covid protocols for private seem like it could easily be found in public so not really a pro.


Yes but smaller class sizes = significantly less exposure


Not true. Our school is very small and we all got COVID from another student because the school is mask optional. I am transferring my kid to public next year and when I stopped by recently to drop off paperwork, every single kid in the school was still masked even though they had been mask optional earlier than the private did. We are in a ‘W’ zoned school so maybe higher educated parents are more prone to encourage their kids to mask.

The plural of anecdote is not data.


Good, then we can dismiss you.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 12:30     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The covid protocols for private seem like it could easily be found in public so not really a pro.


Yes but smaller class sizes = significantly less exposure


Not true. Our school is very small and we all got COVID from another student because the school is mask optional. I am transferring my kid to public next year and when I stopped by recently to drop off paperwork, every single kid in the school was still masked even though they had been mask optional earlier than the private did. We are in a ‘W’ zoned school so maybe higher educated parents are more prone to encourage their kids to mask.


Same, our private is not bound by any board to enforce rules. Have had close contacts and “requirements” were not followed by students or staff.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 12:27     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The covid protocols for private seem like it could easily be found in public so not really a pro.


Yes but smaller class sizes = significantly less exposure


Not true. Our school is very small and we all got COVID from another student because the school is mask optional. I am transferring my kid to public next year and when I stopped by recently to drop off paperwork, every single kid in the school was still masked even though they had been mask optional earlier than the private did. We are in a ‘W’ zoned school so maybe higher educated parents are more prone to encourage their kids to mask.

The plural of anecdote is not data.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 12:10     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:Are play dates only for small kids? My elementary kid got a lot of play dates. My 7th grade got none except for birthday party invitations. Is this normal in the private schools?


With older kids most of the time they are hanging out or socializing over social media rather than in person. They are also more busy with sports or extra curriculars. I think teens hang out in groups or at organized social events more than one on one playdates, but sometimes my 7th grader will specifically ask to have a friend over and we'll make arrangements. Since teens don't want to have as much involvement with their parents as they used to, you either have to wait for them to bring it up or just ask if they want to invite a friend over sometime.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 11:57     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The covid protocols for private seem like it could easily be found in public so not really a pro.


Yes but smaller class sizes = significantly less exposure


Not true. Our school is very small and we all got COVID from another student because the school is mask optional. I am transferring my kid to public next year and when I stopped by recently to drop off paperwork, every single kid in the school was still masked even though they had been mask optional earlier than the private did. We are in a ‘W’ zoned school so maybe higher educated parents are more prone to encourage their kids to mask.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 11:47     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Are play dates only for small kids? My elementary kid got a lot of play dates. My 7th grade got none except for birthday party invitations. Is this normal in the private schools?
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 11:43     Subject: Re:Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:OP here. A big part of the reason why we decided to go with private school this year was because of the warm, welcoming community that the school advertises. Well unfortunately we have not "found our people" this past year. We did not know anyone at the school prior to going, we have attended every school-sponsored social activity, and while the other moms are pleasant at these activities, they clearly are not interested in being friends with me or being family friends.

I only have two friends outside of school, we are new to the area (moved here 5 years ago) and we have no local family. I was really hoping that this school would be the place where we would finally "find our people" and make long-lasting friendships for both my child and us as a family. I've invited many kids over for playdates, and these have not been reciprocated. We hosted a few parties at our house for the class/parents, and nothing reciprocated there either. My child was invited to one birthday party this year, and that was it--no playdates or anything. I feel like how is my child going to build strong friendships if these friendships are only school-based? My child is always complaining that there's not enough recess time to have fun with his friends.

When I was growing up, I also went to private school. Every weekend a friend would be over at my house or I would be at theirs. We made family friends at school who we did things with, even though most of these friends lived 20-30 minutes from me. We ended up spending holidays with these families too. Distance didn't seem to be as big of an issue back then for maintaining friendships outside of school. Similar to my son's grade, my grade was also very small (I had 35 kids in my class).



I think in general- private school or not- people in the DC area just aren't that big on playdates. It's incredibly frustrating because my daughter is constantly asking for friends to play with, but I think most people in this area either have too many kids to deal with playdates or they're just so overbooked with extracurricular activities that they don't have time to plan or execute playdates. The only playdates my daughter has on a consistent basis are with neighborhood friends, and any other playdates with have I host without any expectation that they will be reciprocated. I used to get so annoyed with making the effort to invite all of these kids over and never get a return invite, but now I'm just resigned to the fact that that's the way people are around here.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 10:00     Subject: Re:Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Personally i don't think it's great for kids to keep switching schools, so I would stay put until at least middle school if finances aren't an issue as long as your child is doing well academically and socially. As for reciprocating playdates, it's still a pandemic and some parents are still trying to minimize playdates - especially before vacations, events or when they'll be socializing with older family members. I wouldn't think that's necessarily what it will be like once COVID transmission eases more.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 09:50     Subject: Re:Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm just confused about all the posters talking about the lack of community at their schools...

This has not been my experience at all. I'm wondering if these posters are the outliers...of if I am.


Some of the same posters talk about how much they hate the school they chose and look down on it, so I think it would be rather difficult to have that attitude and then really enjoy being around all the people who disagree with you and love the school and its community. I think it would be hard to become a genuine part of a community you disrespect so much that you trash it on DCUM daily. Sometimes, you really have to take this cite with a shaker of salt.


NP. We have been at our private school for many years. During our tenure, there has been significant change in leadership and, in our view, deterioration of community and core values, even pre-COVID. While private schools must cater to big donors and faculty kids to a degree, ours has gone overboard, creating more of an insider/squeaky wheel vibe. We used to love the community and have given a lot of money and energy over the years to support it. Our oldest DC remains because of a solid core of friendships, but we pulled our younger children and sent them to another private school and it is so much better. I am astonished daily by the contrasts.

OP, I can't comment on the value of private vs public but I will encourage you to trust your gut. If a community vibe feels off, I'd make a change. There may be underlying issues for which you have limited context.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 09:38     Subject: Re:Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm just confused about all the posters talking about the lack of community at their schools...

This has not been my experience at all. I'm wondering if these posters are the outliers...of if I am.


Some of the same posters talk about how much they hate the school they chose and look down on it, so I think it would be rather difficult to have that attitude and then really enjoy being around all the people who disagree with you and love the school and its community. I think it would be hard to become a genuine part of a community you disrespect so much that you trash it on DCUM daily. Sometimes, you really have to take this cite with a shaker of salt.


Your assumptions are rendering those who don’t get the genuine community feel at their school as what they thought as being disrespectful. You are not being respectful to those who have experienced this and are only speculating.



The post says "some" -- which means not applicable to everyone feeling that way.


You are attempting to backtrack. Don’t hang your hat on the word “some” being used, the post planted the seed and implied all.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 09:32     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The covid protocols for private seem like it could easily be found in public so not really a pro.


Yes but smaller class sizes = significantly less exposure


Lol! Come take a look at my children’s Catholic private school which is not entirely conservative but many some send their children to private because they are conservative and don’t want mask, but can also say some of the more liberal families are anti-mask as well. Mask wearing is not happening more in private. Keep dreaming if you think that smaller class size is lesser exposure, I can assure you there is less mask wearing in this environment. Many like you think because it’s smaller, students are safer. Wrong, only need 1 to expose everyone.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 09:25     Subject: Re:Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm just confused about all the posters talking about the lack of community at their schools...

This has not been my experience at all. I'm wondering if these posters are the outliers...of if I am.


Some of the same posters talk about how much they hate the school they chose and look down on it, so I think it would be rather difficult to have that attitude and then really enjoy being around all the people who disagree with you and love the school and its community. I think it would be hard to become a genuine part of a community you disrespect so much that you trash it on DCUM daily. Sometimes, you really have to take this cite with a shaker of salt.


Your assumptions are rendering those who don’t get the genuine community feel at their school as what they thought as being disrespectful. You are not being respectful to those who have experienced this and are only speculating.



The post says "some" -- which means not applicable to everyone feeling that way.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 09:21     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The covid protocols for private seem like it could easily be found in public so not really a pro.


Yes but smaller class sizes = significantly less exposure



Not at our private. Had close contact with teacher and masks were “required” for 10 days for my child’s cohort and only 6 out of his class of 15 wore them and 1 out if 8 teachers in his rotation of teachers. Headmaster promised that it’s going to be enforced and played naive. Day 7 was Friday and no change. There is no governing body of people available to make sure rules are being adhered to and private can get away with these inconsistencies with no worry of reprisal.
Anonymous
Post 05/02/2022 09:14     Subject: Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public
Anonymous wrote:Social dynamics are important but I’m always surprised about parents who place more emphasis on this than academics. Where are they getting a better education? Unless there is a toxic bullying situation, The social stuff you can always supplement with sports- be a coach- that’s a sure fire way to meet a lot of kids and families. Plus, OP you haven’t been there SUPER long. It takes years to nestle into friendships. Some ppl find entertaining (even play dates) too much, especially during the COVID.



I know this is not the same school, due to the price tag, but my friends in one school have pointed out how families who came into their small community during Covid from public, immediately started making "subtle, constructive" digs at the things that made their school, "them" like discipline, uniform policies, more paper compared to tech....and they got tired of hearing it.

They socialize in an "everyone in the class is invited to the birthday party" way but avoid being cornered in the kitchen with the family who seems so hard to please, and whose kid(s) are unkind/impolite/pushy to the kids of people they have known for years.

Not saying that this is OPs situation, but it is something I heard about a lot this month, especially kids announcing to their class they are leaving when there is a conflict, without parents realizing they are making these announcements.