Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not suggest sleeping with someone within a few dates. It may work out for a very few but not typical.

The overwhelming majority of dates don't work out whether the person waits one date or 10 dates. OP should do what they are comfortable with. Having sex should not be the factor that determines how the relationship evolves. If it does, would you really want to be with that person anyway?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, PP, you sound sane and flexible in this post.

I see many posters brining up the risk of STIs, which is something that should not be taken lightly. But there's risks from just meeting people nowadays due the pandemic. How many people have dies from COVID versus STIs the past few years? Even if you think the risk of yourself getting sick from COVID is small, what about the risk you pass it on to someone who passes it on to someone down the line who winds up dead?

I bring this up to suggest that all of the talk about STIs is just a PC way to "slut shame" and moralize against promiscuity.

To be clear, people should be careful to protect against STIs, but it's not clear that having sex is any riskier than just meeting people indoors nowadays.

Anonymous wrote:I would not suggest sleeping with someone within a few dates. It may work out for a very few but not typical.

The overwhelming majority of dates don't work out whether the person waits one date or 10 dates. OP should do what they are comfortable with. Having sex should not be the factor that determines how the relationship evolves. If it does, would you really want to be with that person anyway?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i always f on the first date. sometimes in the car.

I hope you come to your dates with a recent STD test and require the same for your dates

Never and always raw dog it

Anonymous wrote:3rd date, but probably half of my friends married the "one night stand that never went away." We're all about 15 years in and still happily married. I think age and income plays into this a lot, and is reflected in the divorce stats. Almost all of us met between 27-35n as UMC professionals. If you're dating at 30, it's a lot more common (in my experience) to have sex earlier than waiting for months. At 19 that wouldn't be odd at all, but by late 20s most people have had a few sexual partners, so why wait if you're not playing some kind of game? The divorce rates for people who marry on the older side and have money are nowhere near 50%.

It is true that with education and wealth and marriage between the ages of 27-31 that the divorce rate is really low. I read and it’s somewhere where there was an online calculator that you could put criteria in and say what the chances of divorce were for certain age groups education levels and income and my stats said that there was only an 11% chance of divorce (married at 32)…but I am divorced. But I do agree that it is highly dependent on certain factors and you can’t just generalize and say “half of marriages end in divorce because it’s not true.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. We are all old if this question makes any sense to us. My DD is a college freshman. The “kids” these days don’t date. The hook up culture is insane. This is the order: sex first. Then maybe you find out their name. Then maybe you exchange texts. Then maybe you hook up again.

Not just college. I have a 40 year old friend who meets someone for coffee and ends up in bed with them. She had known one guy for two hours.

So? I have done the same. We dated for a yr in the pandemic and it saved my sanity

Says a lot about your sanity.

Hmm. Which one of us is being mean to strangers on the internet, though?

3rd date, but probably half of my friends married the "one night stand that never went away." We're all about 15 years in and still happily married. I think age and income plays into this a lot, and is reflected in the divorce stats. Almost all of us met between 27-35n as UMC professionals. If you're dating at 30, it's a lot more common (in my experience) to have sex earlier than waiting for months. At 19 that wouldn't be odd at all, but by late 20s most people have had a few sexual partners, so why wait if you're not playing some kind of game? The divorce rates for people who marry on the older side and have money are nowhere near 50%.

Anonymous wrote:The first and third date sex boggles me just because you take their word they are std and hpv free and you know almost nothing about them. You don't stop and think they probably did this for every date with another person before you.

Condoms???

Anonymous wrote:If you had to give advice to your children on dating, I hope you give them better advice than what you say on here.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but kids gon do what they want on dates. Nobody's parent said "have sex on the first date" yet plenty here have!

3 max. Women are the ones who told me this rule.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps people should also acknowledge that most relationships don't work out anyway regardless of when people have sex. Not sure of the percentage of relationships that result in marriage, but we do know nearly of half of all marriages end in divorce. So the odds of any relationship turning into a forever marriage are quite low. Therefore, I'm not sure if it makes sense to withhold sex for a set amount of time in hopes of it resulting in a happy forever marriage. Do whatever you are comfortable with.

Exactly - correlation but not causation.

Half of all marriages do not end divorce please update your stats.

Well provide the "correct % then....

https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/#:~:text=Almost%2050%20percent%20of%20all,first%20marriages%20end%20in%20divorce.

According to the provided:

6. Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation.
7. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.
8. 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
9. 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First date. Together 12 years, married with kids.

I do believe in the general “rules” of dating, but I also think with the right person suddenly none of the rules apply!

Interested in how you know it’s the right person when it’s a first date.

Obviously I didn’t. Obviously I decided to have sex with him because that’s just what I decided to do in the moment, on the date. In retrospect he was the right person.

My point is as basic and done over as the plot of “He’s Just Not That Into You” or whatever it’s called. If the guy is into you it works out, and if it’s not working out he’s not that into you.

I’m not advocating for or against sex on the first date. I just answered the OP’s question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps people should also acknowledge that most relationships don't work out anyway regardless of when people have sex. Not sure of the percentage of relationships that result in marriage, but we do know nearly of half of all marriages end in divorce. So the odds of any relationship turning into a forever marriage are quite low. Therefore, I'm not sure if it makes sense to withhold sex for a set amount of time in hopes of it resulting in a happy forever marriage. Do whatever you are comfortable with.

Exactly - correlation but not causation.

Half of all marriages do not end divorce please update your stats.

Well provide the "correct % then....

https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/#:~:text=Almost%2050%20percent%20of%20all,first%20marriages%20end%20in%20divorce.

Anonymous wrote:i always f on the first date. sometimes in the car.

I hope you come to your dates with a recent STD test and require the same for your dates