He’s not that into you. So much easier to be honest with yourself and move on. Ignore the weirdos who act like you are a freak for not wanting sex without a relationship, though. Drop him and move on.

No ring, no fling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the honeymoon stage when you would typically be very into eachother. I think you should go for it! Sex is an important component of a relationship. I personally would want to see if I was compatible in bed before making a commitment. I'm actually shocked anyone at 40 would spend 3 months acting like partners, but not having sex. Him wanting to have sex before labeling you as his girlfriend does not make him a player.

OP: There's no question that we're sexually compatible. We regularly spend 3 hours in bed in the mornings being physically intimate (everything but sex) and the chemistry is off the charts. I don't think he is waiting to figure out if we're compatible before agreeing to be in a relationship. So, that makes me even more confused.

It sounds as though you are already engaged in sexual activities with him but just no PIV intercourse. Technically, you are already having sex with him. Saying only PIV intercourse is sex sounds very high schoolish.

Agree. I personally feel oral is more intimate than PIV. Does seem like a game if you are doing everything but. Have you asked to be in an exclusive relationship? What was his response?

Yes, agree that oral feels much more intimate. I’m older, but back when I was young oral was something that came after intercourse, sometimes way after.

Why the hell is this 5 pages
?
If you don't want to have sex with him until
You're in an exclusive relationship don't. Making out, fooling around etc. doesn't mean you're playing games or obligated to have sex with him. Neither does 3 months of dating.
I'm sure you are both nice people and have fun together but you're not relationship compatible. He's flat out told you he doesn't want a relationship and you do, not compatible.
Move on.
I can't believe any of this has to spelled out in the year ,2022 to people who claim to be adults.

Anonymous wrote:He will wait for you if he likes you.

Up to a point. 3 months is quite a while already.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he wants to “take things slow” because that expands his time to play the field. I wouldn’t sleep with someone sleeping with other people because that is where diseases come from.

Op: he said he’s not dating anyone else.

You may want to check online dating sites to see if he is active on there
In my experience they think there is always something better and continue
To date, have sex, and still troll the sites

Anonymous wrote:You are 40, but you act like you are still virginal, OP. You are not young, you are a middle aged woman with life experience. 4-0. You are no longer able to demand high prices like you are still 20. You need to do it or let him go. I am surprised this 40-year-old man has stuck around for three months. I'm guessing he is also talking to other women and keeping his options open.

+100

He will wait for you if he likes you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the honeymoon stage when you would typically be very into eachother. I think you should go for it! Sex is an important component of a relationship. I personally would want to see if I was compatible in bed before making a commitment. I'm actually shocked anyone at 40 would spend 3 months acting like partners, but not having sex. Him wanting to have sex before labeling you as his girlfriend does not make him a player.

OP: There's no question that we're sexually compatible. We regularly spend 3 hours in bed in the mornings being physically intimate (everything but sex) and the chemistry is off the charts. I don't think he is waiting to figure out if we're compatible before agreeing to be in a relationship. So, that makes me even more confused.

It sounds as though you are already engaged in sexual activities with him but just no PIV intercourse. Technically, you are already having sex with him. Saying only PIV intercourse is sex sounds very high schoolish.

Agree. I personally feel oral is more intimate than PIV. Does seem like a game if you are doing everything but. Have you asked to be in an exclusive relationship? What was his response?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the honeymoon stage when you would typically be very into eachother. I think you should go for it! Sex is an important component of a relationship. I personally would want to see if I was compatible in bed before making a commitment. I'm actually shocked anyone at 40 would spend 3 months acting like partners, but not having sex. Him wanting to have sex before labeling you as his girlfriend does not make him a player.

OP: There's no question that we're sexually compatible. We regularly spend 3 hours in bed in the mornings being physically intimate (everything but sex) and the chemistry is off the charts. I don't think he is waiting to figure out if we're compatible before agreeing to be in a relationship. So, that makes me even more confused.

He still doesn't consider you his girlfriend? I'd run. I think it has become a challenge for him to bag to you. And then it will be over. Or he is a commitment-phone. Something is wrong. You don't have to figure out what it is. Just move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the honeymoon stage when you would typically be very into eachother. I think you should go for it! Sex is an important component of a relationship. I personally would want to see if I was compatible in bed before making a commitment. I'm actually shocked anyone at 40 would spend 3 months acting like partners, but not having sex. Him wanting to have sex before labeling you as his girlfriend does not make him a player.

OP: There's no question that we're sexually compatible. We regularly spend 3 hours in bed in the mornings being physically intimate (everything but sex) and the chemistry is off the charts. I don't think he is waiting to figure out if we're compatible before agreeing to be in a relationship. So, that makes me even more confused.

It sounds as though you are already engaged in sexual activities with him but just no PIV intercourse. Technically, you are already having sex with him. Saying only PIV intercourse is sex sounds very high schoolish.

Anonymous wrote:OP’s boyfriend is being punished for being honest. He could just lie and say he wants a relationship to get the sex he wants. He obviously likes OP because he is exclusive for Three months with no sex, when he could be out screwing other women who don’t have OP’s hangups. Yet OP is creating an arbitrary means to sabotage her own relationship and it will therefore eventually end badly.

What relationship? He literally told her he wasn’t ready to be her boyfriend but was ready to hop in the sack. Actually it’s OP who is being punished for wanting a commitment before sleeping with him. Apparently she should just put out for every interested guy until one finally decides to commit.

OF COURSE he wants to have sex. He wanted to have sex before he even went in a date with you.
In fact, who you are as a person likely doesn’t matter beyond you having the parts to which he’s sexually attracted.
One can always find a person with whom to have sex.
Decide for yourself do you want sex? Easy to find a partner.
Do you want a relationship that eventually involves sex? More of a challenge.
Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:You are 40, but you act like you are still virginal, OP. You are not young, you are a middle aged woman with life experience. 4-0. You are no longer able to demand high prices like you are still 20. You need to do it or let him go. I am surprised this 40-year-old man has stuck around for three months. I'm guessing he is also talking to other women and keeping his options open.

+1 PP. I guess we were typing at the same time, but I completely agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this is the honeymoon stage when you would typically be very into eachother. I think you should go for it! Sex is an important component of a relationship. I personally would want to see if I was compatible in bed before making a commitment. I'm actually shocked anyone at 40 would spend 3 months acting like partners, but not having sex. Him wanting to have sex before labeling you as his girlfriend does not make him a player.

OP: There's no question that we're sexually compatible. We regularly spend 3 hours in bed in the mornings being physically intimate (everything but sex) and the chemistry is off the charts. I don't think he is waiting to figure out if we're compatible before agreeing to be in a relationship. So, that makes me even more confused.

OP, you are too old for these games. You are not a young virgin. You cannot expect to play in bed indefinitely without going all the way. He is also too old to be playing with you. He wants sex and doesn't want a serious commitment right now. The situation is not sustainable.