Anonymous wrote:Why would DH clean when he works full-time and DW doesn’t and has been given the option not to?

How is being a SAHM not working? It sounds like hard work to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine only working TWO days a week and not cleaning the house. Nope. Can’t do it. Can’t imagine being that lazy.

She most likely works Friday evening, Saturday, and Sunday. They have young kids, so she works without pay during the week. You can't not clean the house with young kids. She probably spends at least an hour cleaning every day.

You CAN'T? Tell that to the million of us who are doing it.

I think you misread. PP is saying she is cleaning the house at least an hour a day, not that you can’t clean the house with young kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine only working TWO days a week and not cleaning the house. Nope. Can’t do it. Can’t imagine being that lazy.

She most likely works Friday evening, Saturday, and Sunday. They have young kids, so she works without pay during the week. You can't not clean the house with young kids. She probably spends at least an hour cleaning every day.

You CAN'T? Tell that to the million of us who are doing it.

Millions of people have young kids and don’t clean? What?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused why you don’t think ymca preschool counts. Some of the best preschools are at YMCAs.

It's gym childcare, not preschool.

And it's for selfish mommy's benefit, whereas preschool is for the kid's benefit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine only working TWO days a week and not cleaning the house. Nope. Can’t do it. Can’t imagine being that lazy.

She most likely works Friday evening, Saturday, and Sunday. They have young kids, so she works without pay during the week. You can't not clean the house with young kids. She probably spends at least an hour cleaning every day.

You CAN'T? Tell that to the million of us who are doing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine only working TWO days a week and not cleaning the house. Nope. Can’t do it. Can’t imagine being that lazy.

Not even a full work day but part-time

Part time can mean under 40 hrs a week total, but still, only two days and choosing paid cleaners over preschool for her kid? Lazy, lazy, lazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused why you don’t think ymca preschool counts. Some of the best preschools are at YMCAs.

It's gym childcare, not preschool.

Our YMCA does offer a gym care while you work out for an hour or so, but it also has a full, licensed childcare center on premises, with half- and full-day care options. It's play-based but it's a reasonable mainstream childcare option, well-respected in the community and so on.

If OP's wife is putting child in that and checking in on him after exercising that can be legitimate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced dad here.

1. I am the maid in my home. Cleaning takes about one hour per day on average. This includes: washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning bathrooms, changing linens, dusting, vacuuming, and maybe washing windows or some other deep cleaning occasionally. My friends who have a maid service find that a maid visit is around 2 hours once a week.

I have a nice clean house and I'm happy to have women come to my house for a date.

2. OP should quit his job, stay home, and clean the house. Rather than working 8 or more hours a day (plus commute), he will just have to work one hour per day.

I’m impressed! You get a lot done in one hour! It would take me hours to do what you do.

Keep in mind he’s divorced AND likely has his kids half of the time at a maximum. So for half the time he’s only cleaning up after himself, the other half it’s just kids and not another adult. Very different than someone cleaning up after an adult and kids every day of the week.

Anonymous wrote:Divorced dad here.

1. I am the maid in my home. Cleaning takes about one hour per day on average. This includes: washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning bathrooms, changing linens, dusting, vacuuming, and maybe washing windows or some other deep cleaning occasionally. My friends who have a maid service find that a maid visit is around 2 hours once a week.

I have a nice clean house and I'm happy to have women come to my house for a date.

2. OP should quit his job, stay home, and clean the house. Rather than working 8 or more hours a day (plus commute), he will just have to work one hour per day.

I’m impressed! You get a lot done in one hour! It would take me hours to do what you do.

Anonymous wrote:As a mom, I’d way rather keep the house cleaner and teach preschool to my kids myself. Cleaning is absolutely soul sucking.

I am the exact same.

My kids all went to preschool (a minimal amount as I was a SAHM when they were little) but it was not necessary IMHO. Easily replaced by play dates/playgroups and other programs that are often free or nearly so (story hour at the library etc). It really depends on the family and the mom’s parenting style. I don’t mind cleaning that much, and found it hard to be “on” to that degree with the kids at some point- and appreciated part time preschool by the time they were 4. However: you are a parent too and should obviously have equal say. If you feel very strongly about preschool attendance that is not wrong- come to a compromise.

Anonymous wrote:Child needs preschool. You can move to bi weekly cleaning and everyone keeps the house cleen

Children do NOT need preschool. All four of my kids waltzed into school for the first time either for kindergarten or first grade. No problems.

Preschool isn't cheap, and they have staffing issues now. I'd instead use gym childcare and supplement. It's tough to find a high-quality preschool because the pay is minimum wage.

OP, you should clean. It should take you half an hour or so a night, every day of the week. Divide the house into zones. You can do it instead of your phone/video game time at night. If you really want the kid to have preschool, this is a simple solution.

There. Solved your problem — you’re welcome!

Adding to above -- someone likely will say, but isn't all that adjustment stuff what kindergarten is supposed to teach them anyway? Used to be that was the case. Not any more. By the time kids are in K they need to be ready to move into the ABC and 123 content sooner than when we were kids. I've heard it phrased as "K today is more like the start of first grade was, years ago." We found that to be true in our public school.