Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 07:36     Subject: Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Lots of people in my parents area are like this. They have a stay at home spouse or she also makes $50k (or less). They live in cheap housing, maybe a double wide, use public school and Maine’s state health care. They supplement with income from plowing drive ways or summer tourist related jobs or hunting their own meat. They don’t worry about dental care.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 07:26     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve been passed over, huh?


OP here, I make 85k which I think is a pretty comfortable salary for 1 person. Yeah it’s pretty annoying seeing women in this area with the 6 figures requirement. It seems ridiculous how this forum looks down on people who make 1XX,000 a year.


People who are dating seriously with marriage in mind aren’t looking for someone whose salary is “pretty good for one person” because marriage and a family mean more than one person needs to survive on the salary in question…


Live on that salary or lease BMWs on that salary? Because the one is doable, but trying to do the other is silly.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 07:25     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve been passed over, huh?


OP here, I make 85k which I think is a pretty comfortable salary for 1 person. Yeah it’s pretty annoying seeing women in this area with the 6 figures requirement. It seems ridiculous how this forum looks down on people who make 1XX,000 a year.


People who are dating seriously with marriage in mind aren’t looking for someone whose salary is “pretty good for one person” because marriage and a family mean more than one person needs to survive on the salary in question…


Hopefully there’s two earners in the household.


See the threads about the husbands who don't know or want to do anything or very little in the home and the moms stressing about 1 hour pick up windows for the kids. It's a good idea till you find out your spouse can't handle home life.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 07:24     Subject: Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Anonymous wrote:I was laid off and making $0 when I met my wife. She was making about $400k per year at that time. I was 29 and she was 28. I was starting grad school. She was crazy hot - like super athletic and tan. This last week was our 19th anniversary and we’ve accomplished a lot together. We’re both from modest backgrounds and put ourselves through school. We have a wonderful kid, own 8 homes and have built a solid financial base.

Sometimes marrying the guy you love who doesn’t make a lot works out.


Starting grad school is rarely the sign of someone who can't make money. I feel like a lot is missing from this post. What did you make after grad school?
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 07:21     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Both my DH and I make 5 figures and live in the DMV. He’s an amazing husband and father. Marrying someone who is an equal partner is more important then money.
~ married for 30 years and raised two children who are now independent adults
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 07:19     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve been passed over, huh?


OP here, I make 85k which I think is a pretty comfortable salary for 1 person. Yeah it’s pretty annoying seeing women in this area with the 6 figures requirement. It seems ridiculous how this forum looks down on people who make 1XX,000 a year.


People who are dating seriously with marriage in mind aren’t looking for someone whose salary is “pretty good for one person” because marriage and a family mean more than one person needs to survive on the salary in question…


Hopefully there’s two earners in the household.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 07:11     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
We were both making 5 figures at the time. This thread is bonkers though. There are plenty of stable respectable careers where you won’t make 6 figures.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2022 02:07     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve been passed over, huh?


OP here, I make 85k which I think is a pretty comfortable salary for 1 person. Yeah it’s pretty annoying seeing women in this area with the 6 figures requirement. It seems ridiculous how this forum looks down on people who make 1XX,000 a year.


People who are dating seriously with marriage in mind aren’t looking for someone whose salary is “pretty good for one person” because marriage and a family mean more than one person needs to survive on the salary in question…
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2022 23:34     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve been passed over, huh?


OP here, I make 85k which I think is a pretty comfortable salary for 1 person. Yeah it’s pretty annoying seeing women in this area with the 6 figures requirement. It seems ridiculous how this forum looks down on people who make 1XX,000 a year.
We look down on you because you're scum and a liar, not your salary. Even if you earned $850K, I still wouldn't date you are so dishonest and condescending.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2022 23:01     Subject: Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
I was laid off and making $0 when I met my wife. She was making about $400k per year at that time. I was 29 and she was 28. I was starting grad school. She was crazy hot - like super athletic and tan. This last week was our 19th anniversary and we’ve accomplished a lot together. We’re both from modest backgrounds and put ourselves through school. We have a wonderful kid, own 8 homes and have built a solid financial base.

Sometimes marrying the guy you love who doesn’t make a lot works out.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2022 21:30     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s fine not to care about money.
I am not like that but others are. Every one is different. You shouldn’t judge.


NP. I do agree with you - but when people say this are they factoring in retirement? Could be a long and costly retirement period.


My husband and I both make 5 figure salaries. We save monthly for retirement and college. It’s possible to live quite comfortably under $150k, even in the DC region. We live in a smaller house in a bit less desirable zip code, I suppose, but we like what we have.

When did you buy your house?


5 years ago. We decided how much we wanted to spend a month (below what we can actually afford) and searched the entire region for a neighborhood we would like. We actually found many neighborhoods in two different counties but finally selected one near a school we liked.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2022 21:01     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH makes around 90k. I make around 70k (used to make over 100k with bonuses but I am PT since having a kid). We do great. We have very similar priorities -- both prioritize family time and quality of life over income, but also hard workers who like to save think it's important to have multiple sources of income. We have a small home which is what we both prefer (easier to maintain, less to clean) and our kid will go to public school. I think we have a really nice life.

Also, my DH's work, while not high paying, is very meaningful and important. I am proud to be married to someone who is making a difference in the world, and who has been willing to forgo higher pay to do it. I also think it contributes to him having a generally pretty good personal outlook on life, and a generous person in many way. That has only become more true as we've become parents, and I am so glad to be co-parenting with someone who has such high character and strong values. Learning about his work and hearing him talk about it was part of what made me fall in love with him in the first place.

(None of this is a knock on anyone else's marriage -- we have friends who make much more money than we do and they are good people too. I'm just answering the OP's question, which kind of was a knock on my marriage. The idea that making less than 100k is some huge liability in a partner is such a weirdly myopic view of love and marriage.)


So, you only have one kid and that kid isn't even school age yet? Report back in 15 years poster.


OP didn't specify that she only wanted responses from people with kids in college? And in any case -- choosing to have one child is a very valid way to keep your costs down so that you salaries go further.

Also, in 15 years this couple (now at 160k HHI) will likely be at over 200k, plus have paid off their mortgage. So.... what exactly is the problem? If they are smart savers and live within their means, they'll be able to afford college for one kid and a decent retirement. Sounds normal and good?


This is for the other thread I think.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2022 20:59     Subject: Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
I have a friend whose father is wheelchair bound veteran. Mother met him working as a nurse in a VA hospital. He's unable to work, but he does have hobbies and they seem like a nice family from the outside.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2022 20:53     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
They marry us commoners whom you can't see from your high horse, your highness.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2022 20:51     Subject: Re:Who do men who make 5 figures marry?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s fine not to care about money.
I am not like that but others are. Every one is different. You shouldn’t judge.


NP. I do agree with you - but when people say this are they factoring in retirement? Could be a long and costly retirement period.


My husband and I both make 5 figure salaries. We save monthly for retirement and college. It’s possible to live quite comfortably under $150k, even in the DC region. We live in a smaller house in a bit less desirable zip code, I suppose, but we like what we have.

When did you buy your house?