Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My August boy started K on time and is now in 1st grade. Is one of the youngest, but not the absolute youngest in his class. There are other summer birthday boys and girls. There is at least one kid who is a year older, I know because my son was impressed that he turned 7 the first week of school, but I don't even know about the rest of the class make up.

My son is academically and physically at the top of the class. He is tallest kid. If he were in K he would be a giant. He doesn't struggle with any of the class work. But, he is socially and maturity wise, struggling. However, I think he might have struggled even if we held him back (he does have ADHD so I don't think it's age related) and then he would be been bored academically and also weirdly big. So this seemed like the best option forward.

Good luck to you! It's such a hard decision because you will always be asking "what if" and you never really know!

You do realize diagnosing ADHD is actually age related! The youngest children in any grade cohort are much more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.

Yes, I do realize that, but he was diagnosed in pre-k before the age gap was a thing. So we entered K knowing there was a diagnosis and knowing that he would struggle with many classroom requirements regardless of if he started on time or late. It's too bad that the ADHD diagnosis gets wrapped up in the age/immaturity issue so often though.

The age effect is even greater in preschool. He was being compared in preschool to kids 20 to 33% older. If he were still in kindergarten this year instead of 1st his teachers might not think he had adhd. It absolutely is an age/maturity issue.

We were convinced DS8 had ADHD. Had him tested right before starting 2nd grade (after a spring of remote school and summer of disruption). We went to the experts in our community and sure enough, got an ADHD-inattentive diagnosis. We almost started meds - even got the prescription. Now DS is finishing 3rd grade. He's doing great. He meeting or exceeding academic standards. His teachers are happy. He's learned how to take standardized tests. Sure, he may have ADHD. But much of what caused us to get him tested (such as getting lost on the way to finding his shoes) appears to have gotten better with age.

Teachers have never mentioned ADHD. I suspect it's because inattentive symptoms are less visible, especially with a kid who's bright enough to get the work done and not a behavioral problem.

I echo posters who says it should depend on the child.

I sent my son with a June birthday on time. He's little and struggled a bit socially during the transition from Montessori kindergarten to public first grade. He didn't read in kindergarten, but was reading chapter books by the fall of first grade (something clicked and he skipped having to learn sight words). Now in third grade, he's still little. But academically, he's ahead, having been chosen for both math and reading/writing enrichment (suburban public school). I think holding him back would've held him back academically, as he's not a self-starter and comfortable doing the minimum. He would've been so bored. He's still super small and not into team sports. But he's fortunately found a great group of friends.

My younger son is currently 3 and has an August 28 birthday. (We induced at 40+ weeks in part because I wanted the option of being able to send him to school a year earlier than if he'd been born a few days later. I was over 40 years old and he was nearly 9 pounds at birth - and the midwives/doctor supported induction.) He seems as bright as his brother, but far less mature and far less interested in playing by the rules. I plan to send him to Montessori kindergarten. And if he's a behavioral challenge, we could then send him to public kindergarten.

As I plan to start my retirement while DS2 is in high school, I'd rather not hold him back. But if it ends up appearing to be the right thing, we will. We're fortunate to be able to afford another year of childcare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My August boy started K on time and is now in 1st grade. Is one of the youngest, but not the absolute youngest in his class. There are other summer birthday boys and girls. There is at least one kid who is a year older, I know because my son was impressed that he turned 7 the first week of school, but I don't even know about the rest of the class make up.

My son is academically and physically at the top of the class. He is tallest kid. If he were in K he would be a giant. He doesn't struggle with any of the class work. But, he is socially and maturity wise, struggling. However, I think he might have struggled even if we held him back (he does have ADHD so I don't think it's age related) and then he would be been bored academically and also weirdly big. So this seemed like the best option forward.

Good luck to you! It's such a hard decision because you will always be asking "what if" and you never really know!

You do realize diagnosing ADHD is actually age related! The youngest children in any grade cohort are much more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.

Yes, I do realize that, but he was diagnosed in pre-k before the age gap was a thing. So we entered K knowing there was a diagnosis and knowing that he would struggle with many classroom requirements regardless of if he started on time or late. It's too bad that the ADHD diagnosis gets wrapped up in the age/immaturity issue so often though.

The age effect is even greater in preschool. He was being compared in preschool to kids 20 to 33% older. If he were still in kindergarten this year instead of 1st his teachers might not think he had adhd. It absolutely is an age/maturity issue.

Hey back with us in MS. That’s when parents post that they wish they had waited.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my community it's the opposite, there is literally one boy who is red shirted who has an August birthday- but he is tall for his chronological age (so the tallest, easily, in first grade this year in his class since he is the oldest). He is also relatively bright, and very athletic. He stands out as clearly older, and there is every now and then a "... how old is he?" comment. All of the other August kids I know were sent on time (sept 1 cutoff). I have some sort of hard to shake grudge against the mom of this kid, because her kid is kind of exclusionary and not particularly nice towards my kid, who is a July boy who was sent on time so in his class but almost a year younger. He will say things like , "you can't come into my fort, I don't want to play with you" and invite in the older boys. I feel like he has a sort of "king of the castle" attitude and in my opinion it probably comes at least in part from being the oldest, tallest, and fastest kid in the class- because, no s***, he is supposed to be in the next grade up. I don't really think his attitude is going to do him a lot of favors in the future and I feel like his parents could have avoided it by just sending him on time, where he would have been middle of the pack in second grade.

Wow you’re incredibly judgmental of a child. Sad for you

If you read my post you’ll see I’m actually judgmental of his mom . I state it pretty explicitly. And no, I don’t particularly like her kid because he is rude to mine and treats him like he is a baby. But I clearly state I think it’s his moms fault not his! (Yes I should probably blame dad too but I don’t know dad, only mom)

Have you ever thought that red-shirting was for the parents and not for the kids? So parents can be proud of their tallest, brightest, fastest first-grader?

100%

Our school district has a strict anti red shirt policy and the cutoff is by calendar year. My daughter turned 5 in December after starting kindergarten. Five other kids turned 5 after starting. They're all fine. Since the schools are strict on policy the teachers aren't managing more than a 12 month spread in one class, so it all works fairly well.

She was not reading when she started k, but she learned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my community it's the opposite, there is literally one boy who is red shirted who has an August birthday- but he is tall for his chronological age (so the tallest, easily, in first grade this year in his class since he is the oldest). He is also relatively bright, and very athletic. He stands out as clearly older, and there is every now and then a "... how old is he?" comment. All of the other August kids I know were sent on time (sept 1 cutoff). I have some sort of hard to shake grudge against the mom of this kid, because her kid is kind of exclusionary and not particularly nice towards my kid, who is a July boy who was sent on time so in his class but almost a year younger. He will say things like , "you can't come into my fort, I don't want to play with you" and invite in the older boys. I feel like he has a sort of "king of the castle" attitude and in my opinion it probably comes at least in part from being the oldest, tallest, and fastest kid in the class- because, no s***, he is supposed to be in the next grade up. I don't really think his attitude is going to do him a lot of favors in the future and I feel like his parents could have avoided it by just sending him on time, where he would have been middle of the pack in second grade.

Wow you’re incredibly judgmental of a child. Sad for you

If you read my post you’ll see I’m actually judgmental of his mom . I state it pretty explicitly. And no, I don’t particularly like her kid because he is rude to mine and treats him like he is a baby. But I clearly state I think it’s his moms fault not his! (Yes I should probably blame dad too but I don’t know dad, only mom)

Have you ever thought that red-shirting was for the parents and not for the kids? So parents can be proud of their tallest, brightest, fastest first-grader?

Anonymous wrote:They have cutoffs for a reason.

Good for you for not succumbing to red shirt pressure.

Exactly. If you son isn't ready, he can stay in K another year. My son was born in August. He is doing fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My August boy started K on time and is now in 1st grade. Is one of the youngest, but not the absolute youngest in his class. There are other summer birthday boys and girls. There is at least one kid who is a year older, I know because my son was impressed that he turned 7 the first week of school, but I don't even know about the rest of the class make up.

My son is academically and physically at the top of the class. He is tallest kid. If he were in K he would be a giant. He doesn't struggle with any of the class work. But, he is socially and maturity wise, struggling. However, I think he might have struggled even if we held him back (he does have ADHD so I don't think it's age related) and then he would be been bored academically and also weirdly big. So this seemed like the best option forward.

Good luck to you! It's such a hard decision because you will always be asking "what if" and you never really know!

You do realize diagnosing ADHD is actually age related! The youngest children in any grade cohort are much more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.

Yes, I do realize that, but he was diagnosed in pre-k before the age gap was a thing. So we entered K knowing there was a diagnosis and knowing that he would struggle with many classroom requirements regardless of if he started on time or late. It's too bad that the ADHD diagnosis gets wrapped up in the age/immaturity issue so often though.

Anonymous wrote:My August boy started K on time and is now in 1st grade. Is one of the youngest, but not the absolute youngest in his class. There are other summer birthday boys and girls. There is at least one kid who is a year older, I know because my son was impressed that he turned 7 the first week of school, but I don't even know about the rest of the class make up.

My son is academically and physically at the top of the class. He is tallest kid. If he were in K he would be a giant. He doesn't struggle with any of the class work. But, he is socially and maturity wise, struggling. However, I think he might have struggled even if we held him back (he does have ADHD so I don't think it's age related) and then he would be been bored academically and also weirdly big. So this seemed like the best option forward.

Good luck to you! It's such a hard decision because you will always be asking "what if" and you never really know!

You do realize diagnosing ADHD is actually age related! The youngest children in any grade cohort are much more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.

My August boy started K on time and is now in 1st grade. Is one of the youngest, but not the absolute youngest in his class. There are other summer birthday boys and girls. There is at least one kid who is a year older, I know because my son was impressed that he turned 7 the first week of school, but I don't even know about the rest of the class make up.

My son is academically and physically at the top of the class. He is tallest kid. If he were in K he would be a giant. He doesn't struggle with any of the class work. But, he is socially and maturity wise, struggling. However, I think he might have struggled even if we held him back (he does have ADHD so I don't think it's age related) and then he would be been bored academically and also weirdly big. So this seemed like the best option forward.

Good luck to you! It's such a hard decision because you will always be asking "what if" and you never really know!

I will never understand why people hold their kids back. Both my kids have late summer birthdays and started K on-time as youngest (or near to youngest) in their classes. They are fine - all honors and AAP. No developmental, educational, or emotional delays. Kids learn.

My youngest, on the other hand, has a Nov birthday and is one of the oldest in her class. She is bored out of her mind with learning materials for K, 1 and 2, which seems to be at a PreK level. I cannot imagine purposefully holding my older two back to have them experience the same.

Children adapt and learn. There's really no reason to hold a child back an entire year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my community it's the opposite, there is literally one boy who is red shirted who has an August birthday- but he is tall for his chronological age (so the tallest, easily, in first grade this year in his class since he is the oldest). He is also relatively bright, and very athletic. He stands out as clearly older, and there is every now and then a "... how old is he?" comment. All of the other August kids I know were sent on time (sept 1 cutoff). I have some sort of hard to shake grudge against the mom of this kid, because her kid is kind of exclusionary and not particularly nice towards my kid, who is a July boy who was sent on time so in his class but almost a year younger. He will say things like , "you can't come into my fort, I don't want to play with you" and invite in the older boys. I feel like he has a sort of "king of the castle" attitude and in my opinion it probably comes at least in part from being the oldest, tallest, and fastest kid in the class- because, no s***, he is supposed to be in the next grade up. I don't really think his attitude is going to do him a lot of favors in the future and I feel like his parents could have avoided it by just sending him on time, where he would have been middle of the pack in second grade.

Wow you’re incredibly judgmental of a child. Sad for you

If you read my post you’ll see I’m actually judgmental of his mom . I state it pretty explicitly. And no, I don’t particularly like her kid because he is rude to mine and treats him like he is a baby. But I clearly state I think it’s his moms fault not his! (Yes I should probably blame dad too but I don’t know dad, only mom)

We're a year younger than you. My late july boy is going into Pre-K next year. We sent my September DD on time.

All of you saying that all Kindergarten kids struggle with learning and can't sit still- no. My DD didn't struggle with any of that and went into K knowing how to read. From what I've seen it's usually the boys who can't sit still. I think if school were better and structured differently then kids wouldn't have to sit still nonstop. Instead everyone just gets labeled with ADHD and medicated to make it easy for the teacher. I'm going to see how my son does in Pre-K and if he can read before Kindergarten. School is terrible and I don't want him to struggle before he has to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my community it's the opposite, there is literally one boy who is red shirted who has an August birthday- but he is tall for his chronological age (so the tallest, easily, in first grade this year in his class since he is the oldest). He is also relatively bright, and very athletic. He stands out as clearly older, and there is every now and then a "... how old is he?" comment. All of the other August kids I know were sent on time (sept 1 cutoff). I have some sort of hard to shake grudge against the mom of this kid, because her kid is kind of exclusionary and not particularly nice towards my kid, who is a July boy who was sent on time so in his class but almost a year younger. He will say things like , "you can't come into my fort, I don't want to play with you" and invite in the older boys. I feel like he has a sort of "king of the castle" attitude and in my opinion it probably comes at least in part from being the oldest, tallest, and fastest kid in the class- because, no s***, he is supposed to be in the next grade up. I don't really think his attitude is going to do him a lot of favors in the future and I feel like his parents could have avoided it by just sending him on time, where he would have been middle of the pack in second grade.

Wow you’re incredibly judgmental of a child. Sad for you

+1

That is really sad. I have a hard time imagining what sort of mental state I would have to be in to write that kind of nasty rant about a child. It wouldn’t be a good one, that for sure.

NP I think you are overreacting. I didn’t see a nasty rant at all. Just a parent unhappy about a kid who is being exclusionary to their kid. Perhaps the criticism hit too close to home and that is why you are defensive?

To answer the question - I have an August girl in a wealthy part of Fairfax County and literally everyone I know with July-Sep birthdays is redshirting. Boys and girls! It’s messed up. I’m going to send on time and hope for the best. She would be bored in another year of pre-K. If I had a boy I would more seriously consider redshirting, but luckily my younger boy is an October birthday.

No, I didn’t redshirt. I just think DCUM anti redshirt parents are pretty universally nasty, and that post demonstrates it. It’s over the top and mean about a very young child.

But I guess as a DCUM anti redshirter you are fine with nastiness.

Pot calling the kettle.