I don’t mind organized chaos and doesn’t care about clinical level of cleanliness but basic order and hygiene is helpful.

I'd decide if you can handle clutter and/or lack of cleanliness. Clutter doesn't bother me, but dirty dishes, bathroom, dirty sheets and clothes, that would be a deal breaker. For the record, I have clutter but I do the dishes and clean. To deal with my clutter issues - which mostly involves clothes, bathroom supplies, and books/papers, I've been moving toward a minimalist existence. That has helped tremendously. Fewer clothes and makeup/lotions/hair supplies makes straightening up easier. I throw away/give away a lot of things that I would've kept for a rainy day.

My DH, on the other hand, hates clutter but won't do dishes, clean bathrooms, vacuum. He either doesn't see his mess or is is waiting for the maid (me) to do everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How messy? Are we talking clothes everywhere or dirty dishes?

OP here. I’ve been to her place twice and both times it was messy. I understand a little mess because that happens, but her kitchen was filled with dirt dishes and left out food, her living room had cups and dishes left out on the table, and her bedroom, had clothes all on the floor, and the bathroom had makeup and other stuff and towels thrown everywhere.

My place isn’t always super neat but I do make it a habit to put food away and my dishes in the dishwasher. I do a little reset every night by cleaning up the main spaces and putting things back where they go. I have a housekeeper that deep cleans my place every two weeks but I attest try to keep it clean.

Yikes.

And I was feeling bad a had a bin of sweaters out while I got out the bin of summer clothes…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about her hygiene? Sometimes a woman who doesn’t clean her home also doesn’t clean herself well. Having sex with a woman who smells bad is a big turnoff

I’m messy, but meticulous with personal hygiene. Wash my hair daily, shower daily (sometimes twice a day), always clean shaven and fresh pedicure. I don’t dress like a slob and my hair color is fresh.

But I can be messy in the home. I clean and organize, but can mess it up pretty quick.

You are okay from my point of view if that’s the case. I am a busy professional, so things around me can get messy quickly. But I can’t stand poor personal hygiene

Dermatologist doesn’t recommend daily showers are needed any more, specially if you use water bidet in toilet. They say alternate days or earlier if needed. Eczema, alopecia and psoriasis etc are on all time high. Skin and hair need to retain some natural oils to stay healthy.

Zero issue with any of that. Healthy, olive skin. I have been showering daily since I was a kid. My children do too.

We are athletes that workout daily. Not showering would be so nasty.

I also can’t stand to smell dirty hair. People that don’t was it daily think it doesn’t stink. After 2 days just gross.

I would never say to DW that she has bad smell in her lady part or other part of her body during sex. I wouldn’t want to hurt DW’s feeling.
But I do lose attraction when there is bad smell. I am just a regular, straight guy (no bizarre sexual habits), not playboy type.
I just want to inform ladies here that some DW need to pay attention to hygiene or smell in their private part as their boyfriend may not want to tell you about the smell that you might have.

Yeah your swamp ass isn't going to wash itself

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you visit unannounced or were you invited? If invited and the house was a mess, don’t expect improvement,

OP here. I was invited both times.

That would be a major red flag. Sorry!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about her hygiene? Sometimes a woman who doesn’t clean her home also doesn’t clean herself well. Having sex with a woman who smells bad is a big turnoff

I’m messy, but meticulous with personal hygiene. Wash my hair daily, shower daily (sometimes twice a day), always clean shaven and fresh pedicure. I don’t dress like a slob and my hair color is fresh.

But I can be messy in the home. I clean and organize, but can mess it up pretty quick.

You are okay from my point of view if that’s the case. I am a busy professional, so things around me can get messy quickly. But I can’t stand poor personal hygiene

Dermatologist doesn’t recommend daily showers are needed any more, specially if you use water bidet in toilet. They say alternate days or earlier if needed. Eczema, alopecia and psoriasis etc are on all time high. Skin and hair need to retain some natural oils to stay healthy.

Zero issue with any of that. Healthy, olive skin. I have been showering daily since I was a kid. My children do too.

We are athletes that workout daily. Not showering would be so nasty.

I also can’t stand to smell dirty hair. People that don’t was it daily think it doesn’t stink. After 2 days just gross.

I would never say to DW that she has bad smell in her lady part or other part of her body during sex. I wouldn’t want to hurt DW’s feeling.
But I do lose attraction when there is bad smell. I am just a regular, straight guy (no bizarre sexual habits), not playboy type.
I just want to inform ladies here that some DW need to pay attention to hygiene or smell in their private part as their boyfriend may not want to tell you about the smell that you might have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about her hygiene? Sometimes a woman who doesn’t clean her home also doesn’t clean herself well. Having sex with a woman who smells bad is a big turnoff

I’m messy, but meticulous with personal hygiene. Wash my hair daily, shower daily (sometimes twice a day), always clean shaven and fresh pedicure. I don’t dress like a slob and my hair color is fresh.

But I can be messy in the home. I clean and organize, but can mess it up pretty quick.

You are okay from my point of view if that’s the case. I am a busy professional, so things around me can get messy quickly. But I can’t stand poor personal hygiene

Dermatologist doesn’t recommend daily showers are needed any more, specially if you use water bidet in toilet. They say alternate days or earlier if needed. Eczema, alopecia and psoriasis etc are on all time high. Skin and hair need to retain some natural oils to stay healthy.

Zero issue with any of that. Healthy, olive skin. I have been showering daily since I was a kid. My children do too.

We are athletes that workout daily. Not showering would be so nasty.

I also can’t stand to smell dirty hair. People that don’t was it daily think it doesn’t stink. After 2 days just gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about her hygiene? Sometimes a woman who doesn’t clean her home also doesn’t clean herself well. Having sex with a woman who smells bad is a big turnoff

I’m messy, but meticulous with personal hygiene. Wash my hair daily, shower daily (sometimes twice a day), always clean shaven and fresh pedicure. I don’t dress like a slob and my hair color is fresh.

But I can be messy in the home. I clean and organize, but can mess it up pretty quick.

You are okay from my point of view if that’s the case. I am a busy professional, so things around me can get messy quickly. But I can’t stand poor personal hygiene

Dermatologist doesn’t recommend daily showers are needed any more, specially if you use water bidet in toilet. They say alternate days or earlier if needed. Eczema, alopecia and psoriasis etc are on all time high. Skin and hair need to retain some natural oils to stay healthy.

I don’t know about daily shower. Some women have pretty bad smell in their lady part. It doesn’t matter whether they look like a model or not, I would lose attraction when a lady has bad smell down there, especially with a particular sex position. I am Just sharing my thoughts.. I am sure many will disagree with me. On the other hand, if a lady looks okay but smells good, it increases attractiveness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about her hygiene? Sometimes a woman who doesn’t clean her home also doesn’t clean herself well. Having sex with a woman who smells bad is a big turnoff

I’m messy, but meticulous with personal hygiene. Wash my hair daily, shower daily (sometimes twice a day), always clean shaven and fresh pedicure. I don’t dress like a slob and my hair color is fresh.

But I can be messy in the home. I clean and organize, but can mess it up pretty quick.

You are okay from my point of view if that’s the case. I am a busy professional, so things around me can get messy quickly. But I can’t stand poor personal hygiene

Dermatologist doesn’t recommend daily showers are needed any more, specially if you use water bidet in toilet. They say alternate days or earlier if needed. Eczema, alopecia and psoriasis etc are on all time high. Skin and hair need to retain some natural oils to stay healthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s as exhausting to live with a clean freak as it is with a hoarder.

My brother is a neat freak and a hypochondriac. He has OCD.

My SIL is while my brother is a very clean and organized person himself, satisfying her standards is challenging and exhausting for him. If they didn’t adore each other and weren’t compatible otherwise, it could break them up for sure.

Anonymous wrote:It’s as exhausting to live with a clean freak as it is with a hoarder.

My brother is a neat freak and a hypochondriac. He has OCD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about her hygiene? Sometimes a woman who doesn’t clean her home also doesn’t clean herself well. Having sex with a woman who smells bad is a big turnoff

I’m messy, but meticulous with personal hygiene. Wash my hair daily, shower daily (sometimes twice a day), always clean shaven and fresh pedicure. I don’t dress like a slob and my hair color is fresh.

But I can be messy in the home. I clean and organize, but can mess it up pretty quick.

You are okay from my point of view if that’s the case. I am a busy professional, so things around me can get messy quickly. But I can’t stand poor personal hygiene

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I would stay clear of clean freaks as much as I would of mess monsters. Overall, a slight deviation from the average is fine. People are a package to me, just like beauty isn’t the only trait to attract me, mess won’t be the only trait to distract me.

+1

It’s often anal and controlling and some time that intense need for order masks childhood trauma. It’s the one thing they could control.

Kate Gosselin

It’s as exhausting to live with a clean freak as it is with a hoarder.

Anonymous wrote: I would stay clear of clean freaks as much as I would of mess monsters. Overall, a slight deviation from the average is fine. People are a package to me, just like beauty isn’t the only trait to attract me, mess won’t be the only trait to distract me.

+1

It’s often anal and controlling and some time that intense need for order masks childhood trauma. It’s the one thing they could control.