Anonymous wrote:You need to teach your son PROPORTIONAL RESPONSE. Please do so without delay. If he does this often (under or over-reacts), he might have Asperger's tendencies. I know all about it, my son and husband have those tendencies. We spend a lot of time discussing what are appropriate and proportional responses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

Even though OP's son has said the same thing? Most likely the other child has heard that comment from OP's son in the past and was responding in kind.

This. I had a mom contact me saying her kids feelings were hurt over something my kid said during online game play. Turns out her kids dishes it out far more and can't handle taking a little of it himself. I told my son to block that kid and never play with him again since he and his mom were both bad news. I believe my son had said "you're stupid", but what the other boy had said to my son was far worse like "you suck, you loser!" Tell your kid not to be such a tattle tale, OP, if he doesn't want to end up friendless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

Wtf?

For real. I’m really confused what the principal has to do with any of this. This wasn’t at school. It didn’t involve a school assignment. It was at over a computer game at home...

If some kid in your child’s school calls your kid an as*hole while in line at Dairy Queen, would you contact the school principal?

OP, nothing to be done now. Your son did what he did, now let him face whatever the principal decides to do, which is likely going to be very little. Do not intervene. Contacting the principal is super weird, but what happened is really NBD.

Opps, correction. I now see it was during school at lunch on school email. Then yes, OPs son did the right thing. But..where they playing computer games at school during class? That would be my question.

Anonymous wrote:Glad it worked out, OP! As the parent of a boy with adhd who I could easily see having made such a mistake in middle school, I appreciate your approach and empathy. I suspect your son exhibited some impulsivity, too, by forwarding the email straight to the principal ratjer than talking to his friend or you first. I realize these are not comparable actions- the friend’s actions were inappropriate and your son’s objectively laudable, except that as you acknowledge it probably wasn’t necessary to jump to such an extreme (I say this as mother to teen sons who like to good naturedly “trash talk” with friends - if the comment to your son instead was threatening or bullying of course I’d feel differently). It is really hard for some kids, like mine with adhd, to see nauances on both sides here so again I do appreciate your empathetic reaction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not typical friend behavior, OP. Something is very off with your son's reaction. Before you feel too sorry for the other mom you should talk to your own son and figure out what's going on.

No, this is WAY MORE common than you would believe. Just because most kids don't react that way doesn't make it rare. Every grade has a handful of kids who unnecessarily tell on their peers including those that are dear friends. The funny thing is, the one telling is usually just as or more guilty of those behaviors. Every kid has some faulty understanding of what others intuitively know but they can learn.

Anonymous wrote:Snitches get stitches.

OP have you had your son evaluated for ADHD? What he did was extremely impulsive. If it wasn't impulsive then us was calculated which is a terrible thing to see in an 11 year old.

Anonymous wrote:This is not typical friend behavior, OP. Something is very off with your son's reaction. Before you feel too sorry for the other mom you should talk to your own son and figure out what's going on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

+1 this. Your son was being a bully. He basically went nuclear on his friend. And btw, your son was the one who is engaging in impulsive behavior, not ADHD kid.

Anonymous wrote:
People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

Anonymous wrote:Holy cow. It is hard to believe that some of you posting here are parents. I cannot believe you would tolerate the type of behavior from the other child like you are. I think OP's son did the right thing and I would be super proud of him for standing up for himself. The verbiage in the email is completely inappropriate and not acceptable at any school I know of. I really hope that you guys are all trolls because you scare me that you have such weak value systems and that you're teaching your children that this other boy's behavior is okay. Wow.