Anonymous
02/14/2022 13:13
Subject: “I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My ex and I never loved each other. It happens. We married due to expectations and in his words: I “looked good on paper.” I had a lot of family pressure to marry.
This far more common than people want to acknowledge.
I am the PP…I agree and wish people understood this still happens quite a lot
For both people? Save everyone the money and time. It’s all in your head that this is what they wanted. It’s what you wanted.
He wanted to marry. I did not. We were on the same page about what it was. He was trying to convince me it would work anyway but it didn’t.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 13:11
Subject: “I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My ex and I never loved each other. It happens. We married due to expectations and in his words: I “looked good on paper.” I had a lot of family pressure to marry.
This far more common than people want to acknowledge.
I am the PP…I agree and wish people understood this still happens quite a lot
For both people? Save everyone the money and time. It’s all in your head that this is what they wanted. It’s what you wanted.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 13:08
Subject: Re:“I never loved her”
Uggh. Are people really this unable to form healthy relationships? Do they say they never cared for their friend either and just used them? I’m so disappointed in society these days. It seems like everyone is broken. We now have to try to have relationships that are throwaway because someone else can’t deal with their changing feelings? I give up. Half of the world shouldn’t be in a long term relationship as far as I can tell.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 13:03
Subject: “I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:Dating someone who divorced after a long marriage with children (stayed till kids were raised to adulthood). I asked if he still loved her and he said “I don’t think I ever loved her.” Is this revisionist history? Do people really not love someone they married while young and had three children with and stayed with for nearly 30 years? Or is this just how they remember it when it’s over? He says that he didn’t really know what love was until more recently (also stuns me).
Who knows, people are complex and incompetent. However, its very rare for divorced people to honor their love, if they think they were trapped, its easier to live with thrmselves and to justify their divorce to others.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 12:59
Subject: “I never loved her”
Its fine to divorce but then don't claim to be a white knight because she is in similar position and needs her white knight.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 12:57
Subject: Re:“I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So many selfish jerks say this after they bail on their family. It's a line.
Staying for nearly 30 years and raising three disabled kids to adulthood is not bailing on your family.
Well, so was other person and unless kids were from her previous marriage, you weren't doing her a personal favor.
Who said it was a favor. It was a responsibility, and a commitment and he did it. That’s not “bailing,” divorcing 3 decades later when all your kids are in their 20s.
Leaving her alone. She could've done better when she was young and single, not old divorced mother of three disabled children, probably could've been better off with the arranged husband instead of someone thinking they sacrificed themselves for her.
That isn’t even the same couple you’re talking about. No arranged marriage threat here. Based on what you wrote there is never a good time to leave.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 12:30
Subject: Re:“I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So many selfish jerks say this after they bail on their family. It's a line.
Staying for nearly 30 years and raising three disabled kids to adulthood is not bailing on your family.
Well, so was other person and unless kids were from her previous marriage, you weren't doing her a personal favor.
Who said it was a favor. It was a responsibility, and a commitment and he did it. That’s not “bailing,” divorcing 3 decades later when all your kids are in their 20s.
Leaving her alone. She could've done better when she was young and single, not old divorced mother of three disabled children, probably could've been better off with the arranged husband instead of someone thinking they sacrificed themselves for her.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 11:20
Subject: Re:“I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So many selfish jerks say this after they bail on their family. It's a line.
Staying for nearly 30 years and raising three disabled kids to adulthood is not bailing on your family.
Well, so was other person and unless kids were from her previous marriage, you weren't doing her a personal favor.
Who said it was a favor. It was a responsibility, and a commitment and he did it. That’s not “bailing,” divorcing 3 decades later when all your kids are in their 20s.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 10:56
Subject: Re:“I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So many selfish jerks say this after they bail on their family. It's a line.
Staying for nearly 30 years and raising three disabled kids to adulthood is not bailing on your family.
Well, so was other person and unless kids were from her previous marriage, you weren't doing her a personal favor.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 07:41
Subject: “I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All these people marrying without wanting to marry the person were selfish, dishonest and weak then and nothing has changed, they are still selfish, dishonest and weak. They resent, cheat and leave because that's what in their interest now.
Even if they married for love, they would have some other excuse to justify their actions.
We fell out of love.
We grew apart.
She/he changed.
People can be really creative with excuses if it serves them well.
The most creative are the cheaters and liars who do mental gymnastics and say all kinds of BS because they are always blameless in their own eyes. My ex-wife would tell you any of this but not that she had a string of affairs in our own home while we were married. You won’t get that info off of her Mother Theresa social media pages. Lol
Anonymous
02/14/2022 05:36
Subject: Re:“I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:So many selfish jerks say this after they bail on their family. It's a line.
Staying for nearly 30 years and raising three disabled kids to adulthood is not bailing on your family.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 05:35
Subject: Re:“I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I knew when I got married that I didn't love her. I was trying to save her from a bad arranged marriage. Best lesson in life: never sacrifice yourself to try to help someone, and don't be a white knight.
Stupidity and chivalry are two different things. If you were a "white knight" sort of person, you wouldn't be looking for exits and excuses.
This. What a loser.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 03:44
Subject: Re:“I never loved her”
So many selfish jerks say this after they bail on their family. It's a line.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 00:32
Subject: Re:“I never loved her”
Anonymous wrote:I knew when I got married that I didn't love her. I was trying to save her from a bad arranged marriage. Best lesson in life: never sacrifice yourself to try to help someone, and don't be a white knight.
Stupidity and chivalry are two different things. If you were a "white knight" sort of person, you wouldn't be looking for exits and excuses.
Anonymous
02/14/2022 00:22
Subject: “I never loved her”
If both partners are on same page about it being a marriage of convenience with no life long commitment, that's another thing but if one person is being duped into thinking if it as a whole hearted commitment, that's fraud.