I work only part time, and can pick my own schedule albeit i have to pick it in advance (I’m a per diem physician , I work in urgent care). So I am always available for the things I want to be available for, and for my kids. My parents live locally and come visit at least weekly, and they watch our kids on days my DH and I are both working so we have no child cere costs and no real child care concerns, since I implicitly trust my parents and love the relationship they are building with my kids.

Our income is middle of the road for DCUM (230k this year , with my husband being a fed and then my 10-15 hours a week). But we have everything we need and then some. No debt other than mortgage , no student loans.

My kids are healthy and generally well behaved. They aren’t difficult compared to a lot of my friends kids.

I have plenty of free time- youngest in preschool 2 mornings a week and I typically don’t schedule myself to work on those days so I can have mornings to myself. Oldest is in full day K.

Some days are harder than others obviously but when all is said and done, I don’t have angrily to complain about and I’m happy with our daily life.

I have one child in upper elementary who is healthy and doing well in school. Both DH and I have good paying jobs that are very flexible so we have no major money or time struggles. We share responsibilities pretty well and genuinely love and like each other. Life is pretty good.

4 kids full time help

I have 2 kids - 5 and 7. I work from home as does my spouse. Life will be even better once they are at the same school next year.

We have 1 set of local grandparents who take the kids overnight once a month and can help out with activities and school breaks. We are not rich, but we have enough money to do activities for kids and sign up for camps they want to do without stressing if it’s is $500 camp or a $350 camp.

The kids are very self-sufficient in the mornings - they dress and feed themselves. That allows us to get our workouts in. We have easy going kids - they fight sometimes - but are pretty easy as far as kids go.

Anonymous wrote:I have a newborn and 3.5 year old and am extremely unhappy with my life right now no childcare no school no family. Just chiming in as I’m reading about these happy families with all the help, smiles, money, and sunny dispositions.

Chicken Little DCUMers tried to scare me into giving up childcare when I had a newborn to eliminate COVID risk (ie pull my older child out of preschool and tell my nanny to stay home). I am SO glad I did not listen to them. Mental health is important too.

5yo and 1yo. While not intentional, the age gap allows for us to concentrate on the little one because our older one is more self-sufficient. And the older one loves to read books to her little sister and entertain her.

We also have well-paying jobs (and mine is very flexible) a great nanny who also helps with household work when 5yo is in school and the baby is sleeping, and grandparents who take the kids every Saturday or Sunday

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a newborn and 3.5 year old and am extremely unhappy with my life right now no childcare no school no family. Just chiming in as I’m reading about these happy families with all the help, smiles, money, and sunny dispositions.

You're so in the thick of it right now. Note how few posters there are with newborns!

Why no school or childcare for your 3.5yo? I would have struggled tremendously if my toddler had been home full time when I had a newborn.

Maybe COVID related? NP here, and I took my 17 mo to daycare every day during my maternity leave for his brother.

To answer OP's question, we intentionally took jobs that would allow us to WFH. I took a pay cut to WFH two days per week. Over the years, it morphed into 100% from home. Even though in the beginning it was only 2 days from home, the relief was almost instant. I had less than days of leave when I switched. My kids were 2 and 3 at the time. And the job was a lot more flexible. So I could leave, hang with my kids, and then work if I needed to after they were in bed. Or go to the doctor without taking leave. Or WFH when my kid was sick instead of taking leave.

I will never (God willing) go back into the office full time unless it is a matter of being homeless or not. At my new job, I have literally gone to the DC office twice. Once to get a badge, and once to get something laptop related.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that the responses to this thread seem to indicate that the self-professed happy people have either one child or 3+.

I'd say one of the reasons I'm very happy is because I have two. I can't imagine having gone through COVID without my kids having a playmate. Not that that always happens when you have two, but it's true for ours for sure. Even onw that they're back in school full-time, it's nice having more than one.

We make over 400k

One kid, happy, lots of friends

Local family

Equal partners

My ass stick gets kicked though

We have 1.5 yo and 5 yo and feel the most content and happy right now as we ever have in the last 5 years. 1) We purchased a home last year that we feel we did not have to compromise on anything for and fits well within our budget (big enough, updated enough, family neighborhood, amazing schools, amazing community amenities etc) 2) We left the DC area to be closer to family that helps out! (moved to a Chicago burb) 3) Both Dh and I work 100% remote 4) We make a combined hhi of 400k+ but probably only work like 20-30 hours per week. 5) Our jobs are pretty low stress and with great employers who provide excellent benefits (both tech companies).

We still struggle with the same things other parents of little ones do and it’s not erasure, but these things above make it SO much easier. Moving out of the DC area while maintaining our income has been key for so many reasons. The house we bought here for 800k would have cost 1.5k in an area of nova that would have had comparable schools.

I stopped working outside of the home full time.

Anonymous wrote:Having multiple miscarriages between baby number one and baby number two kind of shifted my perspective that nothing is guaranteed in this world and you got to appreciate what you have.

Other things that really help are doing a lot of divide and conquer with my husband where one person is responsible for one child and the other person is taking on the other child.

We also have a relative who babysits the toddler so that really makes life easier in the morning so we only having to do one drop off

Ha, this is funny - I'm a previous happy poster - and one thing that helps me a lot is to NOT do divide and conquer as much. Some, yes, as we both want quality one on one time with the kids. But one of us doing "double duty" a fair amount of the time means the other gets a true break, and that is priceless. On Saturday I was "off" until 10:45, and then again from 1pm till 4pm. There are some naps in there, but still. And my husband similarly got long breaks.

2 kids

I have a WFH job I enjoy and an equal partner. We homeschool.

Anonymous wrote:I have a newborn and 3.5 year old and am extremely unhappy with my life right now no childcare no school no family. Just chiming in as I’m reading about these happy families with all the help, smiles, money, and sunny dispositions.

I’m a happy PP and I was so unhappy when I had a newborn and 2.5 yo at home. It got a little better when toddler started preschool. Can you not put your 3 yo in anything? My experience at that time was the reason we are making the poor financial decision (but luckily still doable) to have a part time nanny with 3rd baby, even though I stay home.

Anonymous wrote:I have a newborn and 3.5 year old and am extremely unhappy with my life right now no childcare no school no family. Just chiming in as I’m reading about these happy families with all the help, smiles, money, and sunny dispositions.

I mean this kindly, you are in charge of your own happiness. This may be a season of suffering for you, but you can have your 3.5 year old in school or hire some help if possible. Those are very very hard ages. I have four kids and def those ages are the toughest. Hang in there girl. I’m rooting for you!