Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you do like him. Otherwise this would not bother you.

I definitely do not like him, he isn’t my type. Since it’s anonymous, I guess the way I see it now is like a weird egotistical challenge to figure out why I can’t even get this guy, who I’ve seen pretty much daily for over a year, to just respond in any way. (I’m not throwing myself at him, don’t get that idea. But once a week or so we end up on equipment next to each other and I put my hand up in a wave and smile and then carry on. He just stares at me like I’m an idiot.)

You have a whole host of problems if this is bothering you.

+100 maybe he thinks OP is creepy and avoids interaction bc of that

You remind him of someone he despises/hates.

I go to workout, not to socialize.

Going to the gym is 'me time'. It can be so annoying when someone you have no interest in talking to tries to chat you up, especially when you are trying to get in and out of the gym and are there to sweat and clear your mind.

For some people, the gym is both or just one (party time/search for dates or just workout and be done). Others it is a slight combination of both.

He’s the male equivalent of you, OP. Like you, he believes he’s entitled to your attention, only he’s playing games with you because he’s getting it. Turn the tables on him and see what happens.

Anonymous wrote:This is so petty but it’s bothering me, so I’m coming to you all for opinions.

I consider myself to be a generally attractive, fit, woman in my early-30s. I’m a bit of a “gym rat” and I’m friendly with the “regulars”, both male and female, exchanging platonic camaraderie. Mostly everyone just waves or exchanges simple acknowledgments, occasionally brief small talk. There is one man who is around my age who never acknowledges me. I will smile and wave, or say hello, but he will always just stare at me with blank eyes and keep walking. I’ve seen him talking with other regulars, so I know it’s not just that he keeps to himself or anything like that.

I don’t know why this rejection bothers me so much. I’m not interested in him or anything like that, I’m friendly with everyone, but his blatant rebuffing baffles me. Why won’t he acknowledge me at all? It’s the strangest thing. It’s weird every time I see him and I don’t know if I should just ignore him?

Can you tell the other regulars you aren't sure why he singled you out, but you'll be leaving him alone. Request that you find out his deal against you if he says anything? Then just realize it is a blessing, people are at the gym to work out and you were in the wrong for disturbing his workout instead of waiting until the pizza party or other event.

If not explainable by being on the spectrum, this could be a control issue. Either it’s that he’s controlling the interaction by being completely gray rock, which he can sees really bothers her (he my very well get some satisfaction out of that part), or the tension he’s built is so strong that if one day he gave OP the pleasure of speaking to her, she’d cave like a house of cards at his feet. OP, regardless of what’s going on, don’t give up your power. You’ve given this guy too much already, and you don’t even know him!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has some sort of social anxiety type issue. Leave the poor guy alone.

Why is he always talking to others then?

Maybe they aren’t strangers to him and you basically are.

BINGO!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are being too harsh on OP. If somebody were nice to everybody else but actively went out of his way to ignore me, to the point where it was arguably rude, I'd wonder what the hell was going on too.

I used to have a crush on a guy who got a lot of attention from women, and I was not subtle about my feelings. He started ignored me. I got the hint, ignored him back, and got over my crush. We crossed paths a lot and became really close friends (aways platonic). He eventually said that he knew I was interested and he wanted to make clear that the feeling was not mutual.

Nobody knows for sure what's going on in this guy's mind, but I could imagine he's doing a similar thing, even if he is mistaken about OP's intentions.

Why are you wondering about random people at the gym?

I'm guessing op was overly indulged as a child and slightly shelters if she's made it all t way to adulthood never having someone wave and smile back at her and she's finding it so distressing...

I don't buy her recent weight loss story, but let's say it's true she clearly thinks she's hot stuff now( night really wrong with that all women should) but she thinks that now entitles her to attention, notice she lead with how attractive she is and only changed stories when card out non it.

Mostly I think op is young probably 25 or under and just a little immai

This is part of why I think people are being overly harsh. We all learn things at different times. Most of us had immature ideas in our heads when we were young, because we were indeed immature.

People would be overly harsh if she were 15. 25 is when people need to call you out on your bullshit in a big way, fiber years from 30 it's time to grow the hell I. Na el gazing ain't cute no more at this stage of life.

Anonymous wrote:I refuse to believe that if somebody in a mom group was friendly to all the other moms but when you said hello she stared at you and walked away you wouldn't wonder about it.

No. I would think she is an idiot and won’t think about it anymore. But some people care about what other think about them and I am not on of these people.

OP, congrats on getting in shape and hitting the gym. I think part of the issue is that women in general, and perhaps you in particular, are socialized to be "nice" and to respond politely when someone greets you. I certainly do and I go out of my way to smile at people i know vaguely (gym etc) , make eye contact, etc.

But not everyone is like that. someone people are socially anxious, including my son, who is on the spectrum. I will walk around with him and kids he knows from school will recognize him and call out 'Hey XX!" and he will stare back blankly. Only with someone he feels secure with does he respond.

So, possible this guys on the spectrum. Or he just does't feel the same socialization pressure/be nice that many people do. Or he thinks you're weird or whatever. The point is that there are a million reasons, but you should not let it get to your head. Remember: you do not need anyone's approval, much less a strange guy at the gym. Be your strong self, stop greeting him and move on.

I refuse to believe that if somebody in a mom group was friendly to all the other moms but when you said hello she stared at you and walked away you wouldn't wonder about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are being too harsh on OP. If somebody were nice to everybody else but actively went out of his way to ignore me, to the point where it was arguably rude, I'd wonder what the hell was going on too.

I used to have a crush on a guy who got a lot of attention from women, and I was not subtle about my feelings. He started ignored me. I got the hint, ignored him back, and got over my crush. We crossed paths a lot and became really close friends (aways platonic). He eventually said that he knew I was interested and he wanted to make clear that the feeling was not mutual.

Nobody knows for sure what's going on in this guy's mind, but I could imagine he's doing a similar thing, even if he is mistaken about OP's intentions.

Why are you wondering about random people at the gym?

I'm guessing op was overly indulged as a child and slightly shelters if she's made it all t way to adulthood never having someone wave and smile back at her and she's finding it so distressing...

I don't buy her recent weight loss story, but let's say it's true she clearly thinks she's hot stuff now( night really wrong with that all women should) but she thinks that now entitles her to attention, notice she lead with how attractive she is and only changed stories when card out non it.

Mostly I think op is young probably 25 or under and just a little immai

This is part of why I think people are being overly harsh. We all learn things at different times. Most of us had immature ideas in our heads when we were young, because we were indeed immature.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are being too harsh on OP. If somebody were nice to everybody else but actively went out of his way to ignore me, to the point where it was arguably rude, I'd wonder what the hell was going on too.

I used to have a crush on a guy who got a lot of attention from women, and I was not subtle about my feelings. He started ignored me. I got the hint, ignored him back, and got over my crush. We crossed paths a lot and became really close friends (aways platonic). He eventually said that he knew I was interested and he wanted to make clear that the feeling was not mutual.

Nobody knows for sure what's going on in this guy's mind, but I could imagine he's doing a similar thing, even if he is mistaken about OP's intentions.

Why are you wondering about random people at the gym?

why are you wondering about random people on the internet? Two of them, no less. We all wonder about things that don't actually matter. OP is right to realize that it's her issue and not his and she shouldn't be on a mission to get him to pay attention to her, but it's not pathological to notice and wonder about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are being too harsh on OP. If somebody were nice to everybody else but actively went out of his way to ignore me, to the point where it was arguably rude, I'd wonder what the hell was going on too.

I used to have a crush on a guy who got a lot of attention from women, and I was not subtle about my feelings. He started ignored me. I got the hint, ignored him back, and got over my crush. We crossed paths a lot and became really close friends (aways platonic). He eventually said that he knew I was interested and he wanted to make clear that the feeling was not mutual.

Nobody knows for sure what's going on in this guy's mind, but I could imagine he's doing a similar thing, even if he is mistaken about OP's intentions.

Why are you wondering about random people at the gym?

I'm guessing op was overly indulged as a child and slightly shelters if she's made it all t way to adulthood never having someone wave and smile back at her and she's finding it so distressing...

I don't buy her recent weight loss story, but let's say it's true she clearly thinks she's hot stuff now( night really wrong with that all women should) but she thinks that now entitles her to attention, notice she lead with how attractive she is and only changed stories when card out non it.

Mostly I think op is young probably 25 or under and just a little immai

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t like you. You should just ignore him.

Yeah. You are coming off like a predator, OP. Have some pride. It's not a good look.