Anonymous wrote:Sometimes it's harder but other times so much easier. My first grader has a teacher workday today and we chose to keep his little sister home from daycare (2 years apart almost to the day). They've been entertaining each other almost all morning while I work on a huge proposal that's due Monday. Had she gone to daycare, he would have been asking me to play all morning

We think their ability to play together took huge leaps during the March-June 2020 quarantine period. It just happened to hit us as a decent time in their development.

Same with our girls that are 6 and 8. It’s more work than having 1 because there is 2 sets of homework, activities, play dates, needs, etc. at the same time though it’s easier because they play together 24/7 and never need us. We want to get them out of the house on weekends, but if it were up to them, they would spend the whole weekend playing together at home. It’s really amazing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine are almost two years apart. It was incredibly hard for the first year but so easy ever since. Once your past infancy, I think it is easier to have two. At least if they get along ….

Ha, says someone who has no first hand experience parenting one elementary aged kid. Trust me, it's not.

I disagree. I have two in elementary school and a 3 year old. Apart from activities and homework, it is much easier than having infants/toddlers (and in my opinion much more fun).

Uh, you actually think you know what parenting an only child is like? You have three…

I did not understand your comments. I thought you meant that elementary years were harder than infancy… my bad

Anonymous wrote:This is why people have their kids closer together in age. It's a lot easier.

Signed,

2u2 mom

Um no. It’s a lot easier to have one mostly independent child who can entertain themselves while feed or put the baby to bed. There’s a reason “2u2” parents are always the most miserable ones around!

It’s harder for now, but it may be easier later.

For me 2 year age gap was hard. It’s somewhat ok now it’s one school drop off and they are 6 and 8. Somewhat because they fight like crazy but do entertain each other.

I have no experience on gaps. Obviously one would be easier. But just like having no kids is easier. But you miss the joy. So yes more work but also more joy.

I basically cried every day by 10 am when I had a baby and a two year old. The 2 yo wanted all of my attention all the time.
As soon as the younger one could move, she was always getting into whatever the older one was doing and causing problems. I could NEVER keep them separately occupied and happy. As soon as the younger one started talking, they began arguing. "It's not purple, it's blue!" about a bluish-purple shade. I remember that one clearly because the younger one wasn't even two yet and it just seemed way too soon for that kind of indignance over the name of a color. The only thing that made life tolerable was preschool. They are now 7 and 9, and I can count on one hand the number of times they have played nicely without fighting for more than a few minutes. But I don't cry any more.

I actually thought 2 was easier (mine have a 2 year, 3 month gap). My first was super high maintenance as an infant/toddler. When her little brother came along, it took so much of the pressure off of me to be the constant entertainer from about the time he bacame mobile to this day. But regardless of how many and how old, for me it doesn't ever truly get easy until you can stop fastening/unfastening car seats and you don't have to haul a bag of crap (food/diapers/etc) everywhere you go.

Anonymous wrote:I think a 4 year age gap is really hard. A 2 year age gap is easier.

.disagree

I have 2. 7 yr gap. It is wonderful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The transition from zero to 1 child about killed me. Hardest by a million.
1 to 2 was much easier for me (they’re almost 4 years apart).
2 to 3 has been more challenging in that first two are older and baby is dragged everywhere with them but I’m also more chill.

My sister is about to have a third with a 5 year gap (first two are two years apart) and ugh, I dread this dynamic. All of the local cousins are FINALLY getting into the big kid stage and activities, restaurants, schedules are finally getting easy again. I mean, yay for a new cousin/nephew, but WHY would anyone plan that gap intentionally? I just don't get it...

People don't generally.

I have a 10 year age gap in kids and it's easy peasy!

This is why people have their kids closer together in age. It's a lot easier.

Signed,

2u2 mom

Anonymous wrote:The transition from zero to 1 child about killed me. Hardest by a million.
1 to 2 was much easier for me (they’re almost 4 years apart).
2 to 3 has been more challenging in that first two are older and baby is dragged everywhere with them but I’m also more chill.

My sister is about to have a third with a 5 year gap (first two are two years apart) and ugh, I dread this dynamic. All of the local cousins are FINALLY getting into the big kid stage and activities, restaurants, schedules are finally getting easy again. I mean, yay for a new cousin/nephew, but WHY would anyone plan that gap intentionally? I just don't get it...

The transition from zero to 1 child about killed me. Hardest by a million.
1 to 2 was much easier for me (they’re almost 4 years apart).
2 to 3 has been more challenging in that first two are older and baby is dragged everywhere with them but I’m also more chill.

It IS harder, but there are pros and cons. As the kids get older, they will play with each other, and that can make things easier. We have an almost-4-year difference between ours, and they have always been quite close. They fight, and the age difference makes it hard to do things that each finds interesting sometimes, but I wouldn't say it is always as hard as it is with a newborn and 4 yo. It will get better!