Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 20:51     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Anonymous wrote:If dad didn’t raise him, ditched his mother and didn’t pay childcare, it’s strange why your hubs feels this obligation to spend money and time on annual visits and make his wife resentful.


It's obvious from OP's post -- they want the $$$$$ when dad dies. Sorry OP, your husbands half-siblings are getting all the money, you're not getting anything.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 20:50     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't believe this totally lopsided, DH never got a dime, woe is me story. Sorry. Another troll.


DH has a different mom and grew up LMC. Siblings grew up entirely different situation. His dad never even divorced the mom until he remarried so he wouldn’t be on the line for child support. Siblings grew up UC in multi million dollar mansion and prep school. He grew up in dicey rentals in another state but got a full ride to college and took out a loan for incidentals. His dad is loving but he certainly got the short end of the stick.


So your post is about jealousy, not fairness. Got it.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 20:49     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't believe this totally lopsided, DH never got a dime, woe is me story. Sorry. Another troll.


DH has a different mom and grew up LMC. Siblings grew up entirely different situation. His dad never even divorced the mom until he remarried so he wouldn’t be on the line for child support. Siblings grew up UC in multi million dollar mansion and prep school. He grew up in dicey rentals in another state but got a full ride to college and took out a loan for incidentals. His dad is loving but he certainly got the short end of the stick.


Aaaaand the true story comes out.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 20:23     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you putting yourself through this? What are you getting out of it?

If DH wants to see his dad, they should do an annual trip together and leave you out of it.


I’ve tried that and DH says “They want to see the grand kids” But really do they? I don’t think they care that much.


Nope. Put your foot down and say you won’t do it in 2022. Yes, they throw guilt at you. What are you, ten? Be an adult.

Or at least stop being a troll.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 20:02     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
So, it's all about the money. Isn't that what most people have been saying since the first page? You're not going to get any money so stop pretending like you care to stay on dad's good side. Likely he will die first and everything will go to step-mom anyway and your family will never see a dime. Do what you want with your vacation budget.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 19:42     Subject: Re:We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
But, you'd travel to them happily if they wrote you a 6 figure check, right? You can't really be surprised they never visit you.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 19:10     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
The only reason I see for the DH pushing to visit is the hope for an inheritance. Otherwise it doesn’t make much sense. But I agree this sounds trolly.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 19:08     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't believe this totally lopsided, DH never got a dime, woe is me story. Sorry. Another troll.


DH has a different mom and grew up LMC. Siblings grew up entirely different situation. His dad never even divorced the mom until he remarried so he wouldn’t be on the line for child support. Siblings grew up UC in multi million dollar mansion and prep school. He grew up in dicey rentals in another state but got a full ride to college and took out a loan for incidentals. His dad is loving but he certainly got the short end of the stick.

You should have said this at the beginning. It’s clear why you’re getting different treatment. It won’t change. The question is whether your husband will.

So the dad married a woman with money and she doesn’t want to spend the money ?”(gifts, travel, college, etc) on your DH because he is a stepson?
If that’s the case, then that explains things. If your husband wants to maintain relationship with his dad maybe he can travel solo to them (at least sometimes) or his dad could come visit you all. But ultimately, it’s about your husband and what he wants and what agreement you can come to together. You can’t cut off visits without his consent- or at least, you cannot cut off his visits (or the kids, if he chooses to take them).


No FIL has always been wealthy. SMIL was a secretary when they met who had no money. That's not the case at all. He's always been wealthy and when he was married to MIL they were rich as well but when they divorced she was cut off.

If your FIL did not treat your husband well during his childhood why do you expect things to be magically different now?
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 19:02     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you putting yourself through this? What are you getting out of it?

If DH wants to see his dad, they should do an annual trip together and leave you out of it.


I’ve tried that and DH says “They want to see the grand kids” But really do they? I don’t think they care that much.


Okay, so what’s your question? What are you hoping to get out of posting here? Are you actually looking for solutions, or do you just need some attention? (Yeah, I kinda think this is a troll. The way the details come dribbling in is a classic sign.)
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 18:49     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Anonymous wrote:If FIL is wealthy can you just say the costs is too expensive this year for you to travel to them but you’d love them to come to you? Then he can offer to either come or pay for you all? Or, would dh be embarrassed to admit that?


DH would be embarrassed and we are also well off ourselves. Not rich but definitely doing well but anyone with kids knows that there are a lot of expenses as well. I don’t want to be spending this much if our budget on this.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 18:47     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Anonymous wrote:Why are you putting yourself through this? What are you getting out of it?

If DH wants to see his dad, they should do an annual trip together and leave you out of it.


I’ve tried that and DH says “They want to see the grand kids” But really do they? I don’t think they care that much.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 18:13     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
If FIL is wealthy can you just say the costs is too expensive this year for you to travel to them but you’d love them to come to you? Then he can offer to either come or pay for you all? Or, would dh be embarrassed to admit that?
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 17:59     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Why are you putting yourself through this? What are you getting out of it?

If DH wants to see his dad, they should do an annual trip together and leave you out of it.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 17:52     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
So stop. They obviously don’t care.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2022 17:26     Subject: We are always the ones who spend money traveling to see in laws
Anonymous wrote:"Sorry mom and dad, with the 2.3 kids now I'm afraid we can only fly to Chatanooga once every two-to-three years, but we'd love to have you anytime!

Or just send your spouse.


+1

“Sorry Jim and Mary, we’re taking the kids to Disney/Hilton Head/Mexico this year - we’d love it if you could join us! We won’t be able to go to wherever this year though because of our limited travel budget.”