Anonymous wrote:Executive toilet paper.

Have you seen those executive butt wipes for men? I’m dying to know what makes them suitable for executives.

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Anonymous wrote:Cottonelle

+1

I will never have an UMC education, car, or house. But damn it, we spring for the Cottonelle. My butt deserves the best.

same! just bought some today.

Enjoy those plumbing bills

I’ve talked to lots of plumbers about this and they all said Charmin is the worst and Cottonelle was fine.

Anonymous wrote:Cottonelle

+1

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Anonymous wrote:My mom has a bidet that has heated seats and heated water and a dryer. It’s boss.

Mine has all those things but I still use TP to dry off. I don’t want to blow dry my butt.

I do! I actually feel so clean like the happy little charmin bear once it’s dry. I wish I had one. I hate just wiping away poo.

shiny hiney?

I actually like sturdier, not-so-soft TP. The really soft quilted stuff disintegrates and little pieces get left behind ... in my butt. I'd rather the TP stay intact and not rub off. can't be the only person who feels this way??

Anonymous wrote:Kirkland + non-electric bidet (hot/cold water but no fan/etc).
When I get around to redoing my 1950s bathroom, there will be an outlet for the Toto.

One of the first things I did when I bought my 1940’s house was to have an electrician install an outlet for the Toto bidet.

My daughter is picky about tp. She prefers quilted northern ultra plush. We were visiting my sister (who is UMC as opposed to us MC folks) once, and DD said to me in private, “Not to be mean, but as nice as Auntie’s house is and as much money as she has, you’d think she would have better toilet paper.” I think DD was about 10 when she said that. Of course my sister thought it was hilarious, and keeps it on hand for when DD visits.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cottonelle

+1

I will never have an UMC education, car, or house. But damn it, we spring for the Cottonelle. My butt deserves the best.

same! just bought some today.

Enjoy those plumbing bills

1-2 squares of good stuff is not going to clog the pipes any more than a wad of the cheap stuff will. Also, I rent, so the pipes are someone else’s problem right now. That said, I’ve literally never clogged the toiled with cottonelle any place I’ve lived—house or apartment, new or old pipes. If you’re using 12 squares at a time, then that might worrisome, but that’s true of any brand. Good TP only requires a small amount.

Kirkland + non-electric bidet (hot/cold water but no fan/etc).
When I get around to redoing my 1950s bathroom, there will be an outlet for the Toto.

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Anonymous wrote:I need details people!

Why is this for stand up material? Will you give credit to your online friends at DCUM?

Pkus one

Please tell me this is parody …

Obviously.

y r so many taking it seriously?

Right? Hahaha

Kirkland

Anonymous wrote:We are so UMC that we do not even need TP, let alone air freshener. We, and our home, always smell like fresh laundry.

We are so UMC that we do not even breathe - so noisy and irritating …

I actually prefer single ply.

You're "behind" the times if you don't have a bidet.

My Toto Bidet takes care of business.

We are so UMC that we do not even need TP, let alone air freshener. We, and our home, always smell like fresh laundry.