Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will I be an "older" mom at 34?

lol...no! Normal around here. Some women have them into their 40s

CD

The old moms at school.

I had my first at 31 and never felt too young or too old. Delivered at Sibley and lived and worked downtown and had many peers around my age with babies too.

To answer your original question I'd say 44 is too old for a first time baby.

Anonymous wrote:If I could do it all over again, I'd do 30 and 32. Alas, I didn't get married until I was 32.

Same! Except I got married at 34, babies at 36 and 40 and so far, so so lucky with health! Very grateful for every day with my family. It was 100% worth the wait.

Agree with average to young. 40+ would be on the older side for a first, but not unusual in DC.

Anonymous wrote:As a 30 year old first time mom, I was the youngest mom at daycare by far. I felt lots of side eye when my first started Pk4 as people seemed to think I was very young and I got a couple of snide comments about my age. As a 35 year old mom of my second, I was still on the young side of the daycare moms, but no longer the youngest and not as far away from the other moms in that child’s peer group.

+1. I had my first at 28. He's now in K and parents/teachers assume I'm his nanny.

If I could do it all over again, I'd do 30 and 32. Alas, I didn't get married until I was 32.

I was 36 and that was average for her friends' moms. 39 for my 2nd and I am definitely old mom.

Final or only baby? Prob 42 is when I'd think that was old.

First? Probably 40.

34 I would think would make you pretty typical around here. I had my first at 35 and that seemed pretty regular for the UMC/professional set. I was concerned about my age because we wanted a big family, but I found if I said I was concerned about my age, I got some legitimately confused expressions. But once I added "well, because we probably want 3-4 kids" people would no longer be confused.

FWIW had the second at 37, hope to have a third at around 40. Prob will end up stopping at 3.

Anonymous wrote:I had my only child at 45. I was old. My mom had me at 24 and I wish I could have done the same.

If it helps assuage your regrets, PP, I'm the PP who had my only at 26 and mentally, it was quite tough to adapt to motherhood, even for a very wanted and planned child. It's a pretty self-centered age.

I had my only child at 45. I was old. My mom had me at 24 and I wish I could have done the same.

You’re nowhere near old, OP. I had my kids at 36 and 38. If I could have delayed further, I would have… I have been with my husband since mid 20s but was just really enjoying that carefree DINK life. But there’s a history of early menopause in my family so I figured it was time to get on with it if I wanted to be a mother.

My pregnancies/deliveries/recovery were so easy that I am now considering a third at 40. I don’t really care about being an old mom, just wondering if I want to deal with the baby stage and sleep deprivation again!

Everything is a pissing match on DCUM. There's also selection bias on who responds to what thread. This thread, for example, by asking what age is too old to have a baby, is going to elicit responses by women who had babies when they were older and want to both reassure OP and justify their own decision. So they can't just say "I had a baby at 38 and it was fine"; instead they have to say "I did it when I was 38 and because the whole world revolves around me and the people I associate with that means that everybody does it at my age so we must all be young."

The only poster who offered any actual numbers to back up that 34 isn't on the "young" end for having a baby around here is the one who linked an article where Sibley said its average was 35 and that's why is has so many risky deliveries requiring C-sections. I doubt GW's average maternal age is as high as Sibley's and I doubt any of the suburban hospitals are either.

I don't care if you decide to have a baby at 75. Do whatever you want. But none of your anecdotes and personal experiences makes a DC woman, even a highly educated professional one, who has first baby at 34 a "young" first mother. It makes her a typical one.

I was 34 with my first but the majority of my PACE group was 38-40.

I had my first at 33. She's now 8 years old and a LOT of the mom-friends I've made through her elementary school are older than me. Some of them have older kids, and their 8 year olds are their youngest or 2nd. But there are definitely quite a few who had their kids in their 40s. So while I am not really young, I am no where near the oldest mom of 2nd graders.

Anonymous wrote:Has this thread turned into a contest on who's the oldest first time mom? Because that's not a game I'd want to win.

Lol, right? I remember being in my early 20s and seeing pregnant women around town with half a head of gray hair and thinking to myself that my goal was to have my kids before my grays kicked up. Had my first at 30 then the universe took me down a peg with secondary infertility so I was 34 by the time my second was born. But I still beat my gray hairs!