Anonymous wrote:I vote for the 'both parties are satisfied' answer of several PPs.

That was my post…! Thank you.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One that both you and your partner are happy with.

This.

+2.

+3

Anonymous wrote:We have sex most days of the week but frequency is at what matters as much. The connection and the fact that my husband really cares if I have an orgasm is what makes it good. He’s very generous and enjoys making me orgasm. Most of that is quickies with 1-2 longer sessions on the weekends.

So you orgasm from a quickie?

I have an awkward story. I'm a woman. My AP's wife, who I don't know, found some incriminating messages and suspected I was having an affair with her husband. So she sent me a series of texts telling me how strong their marriage is and how great their sex life is.
Um...maybe not, if he's cheating on you? In their case, they were having regular sex, 3x a week, but totally vanilla, no oral, aversion to each other's fluids, no fantasies discussed or lived out, etc. I'm not faulting her, she can't help it if that's her definition of great, but now I take it with a grain of salt every time a betrayed wife says on here that they had a great sex life with their DH and he cheated anyway.

We have sex most days of the week but frequency is at what matters as much. The connection and the fact that my husband really cares if I have an orgasm is what makes it good. He’s very generous and enjoys making me orgasm. Most of that is quickies with 1-2 longer sessions on the weekends.

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Anonymous wrote:Im stunned by the people having this much sex and 1-3 hour sessions at least once a week! We have one young kid and have sex like once every two months, if I initiate. Its not very good, always the same every time. And I am the DW.

I was in your situation. Life gets better - as does the sex - as the kids get older and you regain some time for yourself.

I was also in your situation and it didn't get better. Not saying it won't for you but you need to talk with your DH and find a solution if you want one. There is a reason why 20% of married couples in their 40s are sexless.

+1. Actually, I’ve seen the number 30-40% cited in various places.

By age 50 it's almost half of couples are sexless, meaning 10x a year or less.

It takes a lot of effort and commitment to keep the sexual spark alive. And both partners want to have a good sex life. Monogamy is a beast.

Men have lots of issues performing at 50.

Makes sense - 38% of men are obese, 74% are overweight, so add that to the age factor. Obesity is a significant factor in ED, so almost half of men can have performance issues. Add slightly overweight men with diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and/or depression and I'm amazed that anyone can have sex.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/erectile-dysfunction

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24720114/

Where do your above numbers come from? According to the CDC, approximately 47% of men aged 40 - 59 are obese. For women in the same age cohort, the obesity rate is 43%.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db360.htm

I was looking at older numbers. Wow, the increase is scary. We're talking obesity, not just a little overweight.

We’ve been married 37 years and we still have sex 1-2 times a week. It must be good if we still want it after all these years.

Variety, creativity and orgasms

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3x per week. We both enjoy orgasms regularly.

If it’s 3x a week the o’s should be 3x a week. If not it’s not good.

Yeah, ever dated a guy who treats you like a blowup doll? No.amount of.sex with a guy like that would be a good sex life.

This is what so many men (husbands) don't understand. I will have ALL THE SEX if you are able to get me to orgasm too. It feels like a chore when there's little pleasure in it for me.

It sounds like it's very difficult to get you to orgasm. Is that your husband's fault? I've been with women where sometimes, it just wasn't going to happen no matter what I did and others where it would take an hour. Then I get with a woman who gets off easily and realize, it's not me.

I think it’s a little more complicated than just looking at what the man does, especially if you’re thinking only in terms of physical moves. A lot of it for some women could be the scene you set, the way you talk, the mood… it could be the same actions but feel very different with different people depending on how you’re feeling about it.

Frequency is less important to me than what we do! I will skip the explicit details but my DH can almost make my eyes roll into the back of my head.

I vote for the 'both parties are satisfied' answer of several PPs.

Anonymous wrote:One where the female orgasms every time

Bonus points if she doesn't have to take care of it herself

amen.

-female

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Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I said once a week was 1-3 hours not every time we have sex.

We have plenty of quickies. DH gave me a nice O in the kitchen just before lunch today, 4-5 min start to finish. There is a reason I only wear skirts or dresses around the house.

Why are desperate for attention

What attention would I be getting on an anonymous board? Simply answering a question and stating a fact.

Okay incel.

What is your deal?

Everybody on this thread has sex, stop with your needy attention whore posts.

I am whore because I had a quickey with DH?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I said once a week was 1-3 hours not every time we have sex.

We have plenty of quickies. DH gave me a nice O in the kitchen just before lunch today, 4-5 min start to finish. There is a reason I only wear skirts or dresses around the house.

Why are desperate for attention

What attention would I be getting on an anonymous board? Simply answering a question and stating a fact.

Okay incel.

What is your deal?

Everybody on this thread has sex, stop with your needy attention whore posts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im stunned by the people having this much sex and 1-3 hour sessions at least once a week! We have one young kid and have sex like once every two months, if I initiate. Its not very good, always the same every time. And I am the DW.

I was in your situation. Life gets better - as does the sex - as the kids get older and you regain some time for yourself.

I was also in your situation and it didn't get better. Not saying it won't for you but you need to talk with your DH and find a solution if you want one. There is a reason why 20% of married couples in their 40s are sexless.

+1. Actually, I’ve seen the number 30-40% cited in various places.

By age 50 it's almost half of couples are sexless, meaning 10x a year or less.

It takes a lot of effort and commitment to keep the sexual spark alive. And both partners want to have a good sex life. Monogamy is a beast.

Men have lots of issues performing at 50.

Makes sense - 38% of men are obese, 74% are overweight, so add that to the age factor. Obesity is a significant factor in ED, so almost half of men can have performance issues. Add slightly overweight men with diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and/or depression and I'm amazed that anyone can have sex.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/erectile-dysfunction

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24720114/

Where do your above numbers come from? According to the CDC, approximately 47% of men aged 40 - 59 are obese. For women in the same age cohort, the obesity rate is 43%.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db360.htm