I had a boyfriend in college. He was Jewish and I was Catholic. He was from LA and my family was from NY. His father owned a very successful family business and it was pretty obvious that he was going to take over the business at some point. I didn't want to move across the country after college and I didn't wanted to raise my future kids Jewish. He was perfect in every way, but the distance and religion were too much for me to handle.

Anonymous wrote:I can think of one. He was handsome, charismatic, smart and passionate. I was very attracted to him. He never wanted to be serious, but he pursued me a lot and when we were together I could tell he was super into me. He wasn’t on social
Media, but I googled him years after we last got together and found out he got married about 5 months after we last spoke/got together.

The woman be married was older, uglier and Jewish (like him)… I knew then why he never wanted anything more serious with me…

m


I just replied to OP and then saw this! In my situation she wasn’t old or ugly at all. But I still wish he hadn’t pursued me if a different religion/ethnic identity was a stumbling block.

Anonymous wrote:He didn’t exactly get away. We were together for four years and then broke up. I was crazy about him but he was not in love. He married someone 15 years younger who I’m sure set him on fire more than I did.

+ 1 he was Jewish and I wasn’t. Wish he’d never dated me if it was a deal breaker.

Me (male) had several female friends in college, crushing hard on one of them who let me know she didn't want to be more than friends. About 5 years later, a different member of this friend group moved to my city and we dated for about two years. After that breakup, the friend I had had the crush on in college let me know she was open to long distance dating, but I said no since it seemed too soon, I didn't want to date long distance, and also a bit weird to date two women in the same friend group. I sometimes still wonder if I should have taken her up on her offer.

Before college, the two of us had feelings for each other, but my friend had liked him unrequited and he knew it, and I had an on again off again boyfriend. I didn’t want to betray either of them. We were headed down different paths anyway but it was painful at the time.

I noticed the most beautiful girl in high school. She went to another school nearby. Then she went to another college not far from mine. I spoke with her at a dozen parties, but never had the nerve to ask her out. Years later, I learned that she had a crush on me too. Every few years I see her around, not sure if she recognizes me.

I’m happily married and keep a respectful distance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to make light if these stories but technically the one that got away means you left that person and have/had regrets for letting them go.

I’ve had a few exes refer to me as the one who got away. All of them treated me like crap and broke my heart.

+1. My college bf came through DC for business and asked to meet for a drink. I agreed, made sure I looked smoking hot, and was amused while he recounted how much he'd "thought about me" all these years. Then I reminded him that he dumped me on my @ss and gave him the great news that I was getting married.

Felt awesome.

After college I dated a truly wonderful man but he had a birth defect (very rare leg problem) that I couldn’t see past. I was so stupid to let it bother me because it didn’t bother him and he excelled at everything he did including sports. I’m been married twice and while life is OK now I do wonder what it would have been like if I hadn’t been so shallow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can think of one. He was handsome, charismatic, smart and passionate. I was very attracted to him. He never wanted to be serious, but he pursued me a lot and when we were together I could tell he was super into me. He wasn’t on social
Media, but I googled him years after we last got together and found out he got married about 5 months after we last spoke/got together.

The woman be married was older, uglier and Jewish (like him)… I knew then why he never wanted anything more serious with me…

Two of my exes married far less attractive women too. And this is after being highly critical of me and my appearance while we were dating. I was very naturally beautiful, smart, fun, kind, great in bed, and madly in love with them. Dummies. But let those women have them.

Mew Mew. Why do women always put down the looks of the woman a man winds up with after dating them? Maybe she's a nicer person and is willing to do more in bed?

I am not sure what “mew mew” means, but beautiful women can also be nice, smart, interesting, and great in bed. I know it blows the DCUM narrative, but it’s true. Some guys just marry who they are with when they reach a certain age. It is not necessarily true that those women are better than others in his past.

+1000

I think a couple think I was the guy who got away. Not sure why? Perhaps because my life seemed more exciting than it really was. They didn’t see the countless hours that I studied and worked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can think of one. He was handsome, charismatic, smart and passionate. I was very attracted to him. He never wanted to be serious, but he pursued me a lot and when we were together I could tell he was super into me. He wasn’t on social
Media, but I googled him years after we last got together and found out he got married about 5 months after we last spoke/got together.

The woman be married was older, uglier and Jewish (like him)… I knew then why he never wanted anything more serious with me…

Two of my exes married far less attractive women too. And this is after being highly critical of me and my appearance while we were dating. I was very naturally beautiful, smart, fun, kind, great in bed, and madly in love with them. Dummies. But let those women have them.

Mew Mew. Why do women always put down the looks of the woman a man winds up with after dating them? Maybe she's a nicer person and is willing to do more in bed?

I am not sure what “mew mew” means, but beautiful women can also be nice, smart, interesting, and great in bed. I know it blows the DCUM narrative, but it’s true. Some guys just marry who they are with when they reach a certain age. It is not necessarily true that those women are better than others in his past.

A guy I dated in college was sweet, smart, funny and charming. He had loads of charisma. He was just a so-so student. He was also super needy. He needed a mom as much as he needed a girlfriend. I broke up with him because I didn't want to run his life and my life, too. He found a very nice education major to date. He graduated and went to the worst law school in my state. He scraped through law school and got a job as an assistant state's attorney and then opened his own office. His office did well and it was merged into a major Chicago firm, with him as a partner. He is now a federal judge. His wife quit teaching first grade after she got pregnant with their first child.

I'm super happy for them. He's a great guy and I am glad he's so successful. I'm not sorry that I broke up with him. However, I do look at him in wonder sometimes. I would never have imagined that feckless boy would have grown up to be a federal judge? Charm, matters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many years ago at my first job I had a crush on a wonderful guy I worked with but dating a coworker was not a good idea. Eventually I got married but the crush lasted a few more years. He went on to be incredibly successful and my marriage and life have been fine but not inspiring. I haven’t had any contact with him in 30 years but I periodically Google him. I often wonder……

So just because he made a lot of money, his life was inspiring? You have no idea what his everyday existence is like.

yeah and it was a crush, you didn't date or pursue him so he only got away in your head?

Anonymous wrote:Many years ago at my first job I had a crush on a wonderful guy I worked with but dating a coworker was not a good idea. Eventually I got married but the crush lasted a few more years. He went on to be incredibly successful and my marriage and life have been fine but not inspiring. I haven’t had any contact with him in 30 years but I periodically Google him. I often wonder……

So just because he made a lot of money, his life was inspiring? You have no idea what his everyday existence is like.

Anonymous wrote:A very funny, sensitive, brilliant coworker when I was in my early 30’s. He wasn’t hip enough for me at the time. He turned out to be a millionaire and well respected in our business.

oops! this one strikes me as a real "one that got away"