Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why Travel is a full-year commitment outside of business financial planning. Life is short. It should be half season commitments:

Summer training + Fall games
Winter training + Spring games

As a player/parent you don't need to go through two full training and games cycles to know it's a bad fit.

As a coach/club you can move people up/down/out between seasons.

The answer is most likely "because people are willing to accept it". At DS' previous club, they stated in their "code of conduct" that moving players up/down between teams may occur not only between seasons but also during the season and that players and parents are expected to "accept these changes with integrity". Oddly, there was no mention of whether the club/coach would also accept your decision "with integrity" should you decide that leaving for a new club during the season was in the best interest of your child...

I don't understand why Travel is a full-year commitment outside of business financial planning. Life is short. It should be half season commitments:

Summer training + Fall games
Winter training + Spring games

As a player/parent you don't need to go through two full training and games cycles to know it's a bad fit.

As a coach/club you can move people up/down/out between seasons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the teams should try harder to keep players? Why is it all on the players?

OP here,

I think the reason I'm asking this is that this isn't the club's fault. We moved and picked a team during a pandemic. In normal circumstances, my kid would have been in school and able to ask other kids who they played for. But he wasn't in school because of the pandemic and high risk family members. We might have gone to different games to see what we teams were matches. But spectators weren't allowed. So, we made a decision with very little information.

The reasons the club isn't a great fit have to do with match of level, and wanting to play with school friends. Both are things that we would have flagged in a non-pandemic year. But they aren't the club's fault. The coach is fine, the club is fine. I don't blame them at all. It's just that the other program is a better match.

I think it's fine. Give the team he's leaving as much notice as you possibly can, so that they have the longest time in which to try to find a new player, if necessary. Be polite and respectful, don't badmouth the old team, don't fight for a refund you're not entitled to. And don't feel bad about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the teams should try harder to keep players? Why is it all on the players?

OP here,

I think the reason I'm asking this is that this isn't the club's fault. We moved and picked a team during a pandemic. In normal circumstances, my kid would have been in school and able to ask other kids who they played for. But he wasn't in school because of the pandemic and high risk family members. We might have gone to different games to see what we teams were matches. But spectators weren't allowed. So, we made a decision with very little information.

The reasons the club isn't a great fit have to do with match of level, and wanting to play with school friends. Both are things that we would have flagged in a non-pandemic year. But they aren't the club's fault. The coach is fine, the club is fine. I don't blame them at all. It's just that the other program is a better match.

After having three kids play travel soccer over the course of 11 years, I would tell you that youth soccer clubs are businesses first and foremost. If you get lucky, you find a club and a coach that's a good fit for your child and you stay there for many happy years. But if that's not the case, you need to do what's best for your family. Finish the current season, move to the new club and don't worry about whether other people think your decision is "ethical" or "selfish".

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the teams should try harder to keep players? Why is it all on the players?

OP here,

I think the reason I'm asking this is that this isn't the club's fault. We moved and picked a team during a pandemic. In normal circumstances, my kid would have been in school and able to ask other kids who they played for. But he wasn't in school because of the pandemic and high risk family members. We might have gone to different games to see what we teams were matches. But spectators weren't allowed. So, we made a decision with very little information.

The reasons the club isn't a great fit have to do with match of level, and wanting to play with school friends. Both are things that we would have flagged in a non-pandemic year. But they aren't the club's fault. The coach is fine, the club is fine. I don't blame them at all. It's just that the other program is a better match.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is u13 and we are moving clubs after this seasons final game. The lesson is- realize when things are not a good fit and move on. Don’t continue to suffer because of some “commitment” you mad 6 months ago. I feel no guilt.

Agree completely!

Anonymous wrote:My kid's coach has been good, his teammates are nice, and he's enjoyed soccer this season. However, he's interested in joining a more challenging/intense team that several of his school friends play on. The two teams are in different clubs.

What are the ethics here?

Have him work out with the more intense teams and see if he's able to join the team for the spring season then let his current club know he's leaving. You'll probably not get any money back from the current club, but at least he's moving on.

Maybe the teams should try harder to keep players? Why is it all on the players?

I think leaving after the fall season is fine. I don’t think your kid has to have a compelling reason either. If the kid wants different training or to play with different friends- it is okay.

Youth soccer teams resemble employers. Solid clubs prepare you to leave but aren't afraid if you do because they can easily replace you. Usually the teams that get butt hurt by you leaving are the ones who are scrambling to find talent or appeal to skilled kids. Smaller clubs obviously are at a disadvantage for finding replacements.

It all depends on your reasons for leaving and how you go about it. There’s a case to be made for teaching your kid to honor their commitments even when the situation is not ideal. But if there are genuine issues with the club or coach it could be warranted. Always be upfront and respectful to the rest of the team.

This is a natural time to move teams. All the people saying you shouldn't do it have kids who aren't very good. It is very normal for players to move clubs as they improve. Nobody will "hate" you or your kid.

It is a game and your child should be happy. If they are not enjoying their situation and have tried to ask their coaches, etc. for the help to fix it (if an issue that could be fixed) then moving mid-year is fine by me. It needs to be for the child and not the parent though! I had a child at u15 that had this same issue. She felt that she was not getting developed any further and had passed the skill level of the team. Other more elite teams in the area agreed and wanted her after practicing with them. We made her set up a meeting with the Director of the club and have a conversation about her goals, what was missing and why she was deciding to move. I was in the room with them but my DD did all the talking. This was a big life lesson - how to properly handle what she wants, discuss those needs and share why she was making a decision to leave with the club Director face-to-face. Made a world of difference in the transition, the Director respected her approach to come talk to him on the decision etc. She learned to have a tough conversation and to support her goals and desires - much like she will her career later in life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is u13 and we are moving clubs after this seasons final game. The lesson is- realize when things are not a good fit and move on. Don’t continue to suffer because of some “commitment” you mad 6 months ago. I feel no guilt.

I agree 100%. We have one more weekend to go and then we're changing clubs, too.

Are all of you paying for the remainder of the year just to leave early? Or were you with a program that was only fall and winter? If the former, there must be big problems for you to leave midyear.

We have already paid for the year and yes, big problems. The money is already paid and I don’t care if I get it back. I just want out of the madness.

What kind of issues were there that you’d forfeit the money?

Our team is in this position right now. A long time, great player on our team decided to join another team WITHOUT finishing out the remaining games in the season. Its one thing to jump ship between seasons but to leave a team high and dry in the middle of the season because he wanted to play with his friends is a letting your team and teammates down. There was no bully, no issues with his play time and the coaches commitment to him. I think if you decide to change, make sure you communicate this with the coaches don't just walk away.