Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father is nearly there. He’s 71 and healthy but clearly has hypochondria and anxiety issues.

We flew to Europe to see him and my mother, with our unvaccinated child. Twice! 4 flights! We isolated for a few days at AirBnBs after the flight and took PCR tests before visiting them. He was OK with that level of caution.

Now he has his booster, I invited him to come spend the Holidays in the US, but I’m afraid he might not come.

If his travel days are over because of mental health issues, zI’m glad we still have the means to visit. This is what you do for loved ones, OP. Who knows how much lucid years they have left?

It’s not hypochondria and anxiety to be concerned acout Covid. Flying and traveling is a risk.

PP you replied to. DH and I are virologists and research scientists. It’s our job to know the risks, and we consider that with due precautions, travel is perfectly doable from a Covid perspective, even for elderly people. My father has always had health anxiety but these days it’s for every single little cut and headache, not just Covid. I believe this is the visible part of an age-related mental decline.

We accommodate, because he’s only going to get worse.

Hop on a plane, stay at a hotel, and go visit your parents on their back patio.

I think you need to make your peace with this. For a long time, I was upset about how uninvolved my in-laws were with our DCs and how no one from DH's family has visited for several years. I told DH if it is important for him for us to visit we would, and we have, but I don't expect them to start visiting.

I make a point to tell my MIL especially, who is very nervous about the virus, that she is welcome anytime so she knows she is wanted, but I would frankly be surprised if any of my in-laws visit again. I don't say anything negative to the DCs about this, and they don't seem to think it is strange. They talk on the phone, enjoy seeing their cousins when we do visit, and are happy with local family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are saying to themselves that you are unreasonable and don't want to see them because you won't fly with 2 unvaccinated kids who are at incredibly low risk of any kind of serious covid.

This may be so, but you have to wonder what kind of pathologically selfish parents abandon their children and move to opposite side of the country. I'm sorry OP.

“Abandon” adult children? Are you serious?!

Yes, I am serious. It's abandoning their grandchildren too. They need to come watch all the normal grandparents in my neighborhood pushing strollers, taking grandchildren to the park. I spent so much of my childhood with my dear grandmothers. Church, Sunday dinners, summers, all the holidays, camping, knitting and painting together, random doc appointments, all sorts of time together. My life would not have been the same without them.

And I immigrated to this country with my parents and didn’t get any of that. Only weekly phone calls (no FT then obviously). I still survived.

Your parents, not grandparents, opted out of that though.

Anonymous wrote:They refuse to get on a plane and you refuse to get on a plane. How is that 'don't want to see us'.

You could drive out there in a road-trip or you can get on a plane. Everything is not on them.

+1 - Also agree w/PP who mentions that they shouldn't be flying at their age anyway. OP, leave the Pity Party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are saying to themselves that you are unreasonable and don't want to see them because you won't fly with 2 unvaccinated kids who are at incredibly low risk of any kind of serious covid.

This may be so, but you have to wonder what kind of pathologically selfish parents abandon their children and move to opposite side of the country. I'm sorry OP.

“Abandon” adult children? Are you serious?!

Yes, I am serious. It's abandoning their grandchildren too. They need to come watch all the normal grandparents in my neighborhood pushing strollers, taking grandchildren to the park. I spent so much of my childhood with my dear grandmothers. Church, Sunday dinners, summers, all the holidays, camping, knitting and painting together, random doc appointments, all sorts of time together. My life would not have been the same without them.

And I immigrated to this country with my parents and didn’t get any of that. Only weekly phone calls (no FT then obviously). I still survived.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are saying to themselves that you are unreasonable and don't want to see them because you won't fly with 2 unvaccinated kids who are at incredibly low risk of any kind of serious covid.

This may be so, but you have to wonder what kind of pathologically selfish parents abandon their children and move to opposite side of the country. I'm sorry OP.

Ha ha… like every Jewish family I know in my New England hometown, the parents retired to Florida. Their children are thrilled to visit them in the winters.

Only a 2-hr nonstop flight there

And a 6-hr nonstop flight to CA. BFD