Anonymous wrote:I have dropped a pant size and I think I generally look less “puffy”…from 190 to 175…is this just not a significant enough drop for a person of my size? Mid-40s woman.

FWIW I am not changing for anyone but surprising myself I would appreciate that validation as encouragement to continue, you know?

Stop caring what other people thinking, and start caring about your own health.

My husband's cousin, who we see once a year, along with the rest of his family, lost about 50 or 60 pounds since the last time we had seen her (she had skipped a year). When I was standing with her and her sister, I said, Alice, you look great. They both stared at me in stunned silence. It was clear I had offended her, which seemed like total BS to me, so I just owned it and said, well, it's clear you lost a lot of weight, I assumed that was something you were working on....they both told me I should never comment on somebody's appearance. I'm basically a nice person, and not socially awkward--they're just total jerks. However, other than to my sister, I will never comment on someone's appearance, even when they have so obviously been working on positive changes.

I’d be offended if someone said anything, unless it was someone I’d talked to about trying to lose weight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people consider it rude to comment on weight loss.

+1 I don’t comment on anyone’s body size/shape ever. I’ll compliment an outfit, a haircut, but never anything about weight.

This. I just avoid talking about weight altogether. It's a touchy subject overall, plus honestly weight is a boring subject too.

Take it from someone who has lost a significant amount of weight over the last three years (70 lbs.), 30 lbs. is the magic number when folks will start commenting.

At 15-20 lbs., they see a difference but aren't sure what it is (did she cut her hair? buy a new wardrobe? etc.) 15 lbs. is awesome but I promise you it's the frustrating phase where people can't pinpoint what it is that's changed

Anonymous wrote:I once lost 20+lbs rapidly due to illness. I had so many positive comments, it was crazy. I didn’t chose to lose that weight. I didn’t want to be unable to eat only a few hundred calories a day.

I finally said something to the mother of one of my son’s friends who went on and on (and on) about my “skinniness”. And I was scrawny! I said, “thanks. I’m actually having health issues. I wasn’t trying to lose weight.” Her response, “well, at least you look great!!” I felt like I’d gotten punched in the stomach; it was so rude.

Anyway. I never comment on another’s weight loss unless they’ve confided in me that they’re working to lose weight and have hit a goal, that type of thing. And even then - I focus on on the achievement or effort, not their body’s appearance.

Yup, this is a sign of how toxic diet culture is.

I had a stomach bug one time that was HORRENDOUS. Like I thought I may die (I knew I wasn't dying, but I felt that bad). I was breastfeeding at the time and was barely hanging onto my supply. Being that dehydrated and unable to pump for 24 hours meant my milk was pretty much gone once I recovered. I was so SAD about it. A friend was all "but at least now you've lost all the baby weight!". It was such a careless stupid comment. Sometimes you just need to say "ugh I'm sorry" and not bright side everything.

Anonymous wrote:Also, I don't know about everyone else but I make it a point not to comment on weight changes -- it's just too risky.

I also will never comment on weight changes. Not because it's risky, but because it goes against my values. I don't believe that skinny=attractive.

I have a neighbor who I know has lost weight. I am not mentioning it. You could be them!

You are not entitled to a comment. In fact in this day and age a comment like that could be actionable if at work. Your praise has to come from within.

I once lost 20+lbs rapidly due to illness. I had so many positive comments, it was crazy. I didn’t chose to lose that weight. I didn’t want to be unable to eat only a few hundred calories a day.

I finally said something to the mother of one of my son’s friends who went on and on (and on) about my “skinniness”. And I was scrawny! I said, “thanks. I’m actually having health issues. I wasn’t trying to lose weight.” Her response, “well, at least you look great!!” I felt like I’d gotten punched in the stomach; it was so rude.

Anyway. I never comment on another’s weight loss unless they’ve confided in me that they’re working to lose weight and have hit a goal, that type of thing. And even then - I focus on on the achievement or effort, not their body’s appearance.

I don’t care about anyone’s weight, especially just a tiny bit of change. When a friend tells me I politely congratulate them but otherwise no.
I am around 190 as well and I don’t think I looked very different when I was 175.

Yeah, I never comment on that. It’s rude and it implies “wow you were fat before.”

OP here - thanks. I truly didn’t mean the post as any sort of humble brag but truly appreciate the positive comments from a few.

OP it’s really become a social no-no to ask someone about their weight loss, for the many reasons already listed.
I lost 50 lbs and even my nosiest, rudest, walking-HR-violation coworker refrained from anything more than the hilarious attempt to get me to say something by mentioning that my face looked … different, in a luminous way! LOL

I do not comment on anyone’s weight.

Congratulations!

Anonymous wrote:I have dropped a pant size and I think I generally look less “puffy”…from 190 to 175…is this just not a significant enough drop for a person of my size? Mid-40s woman.

FWIW I am not changing for anyone but surprising myself I would appreciate that validation as encouragement to continue, you know?

Congratulations, OP! I am in my 40s and would love to make progress like that.

I think commenting on weight loss is tricky - sometimes it's because a person is sick, sometimes it feels uncomfortable because you don't want to imply you thought the person didn't look good before, etc.