Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had to live with mine until I got married at 30. My sister is a PA and still lives with them at 32 so she can pay back her loans. DC is SO expensive, there was no way I could have made it without living with my parents, and I’m super grateful they let me.

Do you think your neighbors thought anything bad of you or your parents?

DH here, I live in a neighborhood of UMC immigrants in DMV. No one would think poorly of adult kids living with their parents. My neighbor's adult son lived with his parents, got married, continued staying with the parents...and then moved out after buying a gorgeous home with a huge down payment. The son's family (wife and kids now) are able to live in the kind of house in DMV that most people cannot afford on a normal salary. This is how you create wealth and leapfrog to a better SES.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.

Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.

It makes sense to have roommates so that you are sharing the rent as well as are not alone, especially if you are away from home in another city for education or a job. BUT, makes zero sense to spend any money if your parents are cool with letting you be at home for zero or a small rent. The amount of money you can save is phenomenal and when you start your married life, you can afford an amazing home with a large down payment.

I am wondering, is this why people here are in a bad financial situation and can never dig themselves out of poverty? I thought this was an obvious solution?

Anonymous wrote:I would never date a guy who lived with his parents. I’d assume they’d make a terrible husband- can’t clean, can’t cook, can’t maintain an apartment on their own, and are too attached to their parents. I just don’t think it’s healthy.

I think that as soon as they graduate college they should move on

This can be said of the majority of guys who have been living on their own since 18.

Anonymous wrote:OK - this only works for functional and loving families. Which will disqualify many families.

I have observed that during the pandemic, the working women with challenging careers who did not go to pieces when school and work became remote, were the ones who were living in huge mansions in multi-generational families.

My advice for all youngsters would be to continue to stay with your parents (but only if your family is functional), save money and leave only when there is a need to or continue to stay with them and contribute.

As the sandwich generation you will find yourself running from nursing home to daycare, trying to take care of childcare and eldercare. It is better to have the youngest and oldest generation be in one place so that they both thrive and you have peace too.

+1

I moved out of my parents house at 18 and never went back. I was so relieved to get out. But there have absolutely been times in my life where having a loving and supportive family where I might have been able to live for a few months or even a year or two, to save money or recover from a breakup or study from a professional exam, would have been enormously helpful. I just don't have a loving and supportive family so it was a mute point.

I aim to be the kind of parent to my own kid where moving in with us feels like a feasible option if necessary, but who is also independent enough not to need or even want that as a semi-permanent state past college. I want it to feel like an option. And yes, if my kid has a family of their own and wanted my help, I'd be interested in living with them again to help make that time in their life easier and to provide a good environment for my grandkids. And also -- we just like each other! I don't want to ruin that. I hope we always like each other well enough that living together for whatever reason is an option.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is also 24. He graduated from college in Dec 2019 and we suggested he live at home for a year and see where his social life was compared to his job. Plus, he could save some money. We said he could if he put $3k a month into a savings plan- over and above the 15% he is putting into his 401k. Covid hit and he is still living at home. He works here too as and not had much of a social life since Covid. We have set next June as a target date for moving out. He is still working from home, but I expect that to change in Jan. A bonus of Covid for him is that he has saved more than the $3k month. He just got a promotion and last Jan started a Masters through his employer - online first as a result of Covid. So, he should be set.

I am glad he did not have an apartment from the get go because he would be alone in it and working from home alone.

Do your neighbors know how old he is? The main reason I want him to move out is because I just don't know what our neighbors are thinking.... I am pretty sure they are asking himself why is Andy still living at home when he graduated college etc...

?? Where are you living? We live in DMV and I know many well-to-do people who are from other cultures and they are fairly comfortable with their adult kids living with them. I guess the main difference is that their children ae making 6 figure salaries, so no one feels that they have not launched.

Anonymous wrote:My husband's father and stepmother told him that he could not come home after he left for college. Not for breaks. Not for summer. Not after he graduated. They reluctantly paid for college, but nothing for support in the summer or after graduation. He was 100% on his own after he graduated.

I moved in and out of the family home until I was 30 and graduated law school. I've been out and on my own since then. I'm grateful to have my parents and not my husband's parents.

Your DH's parents were horrible, but, then it was a step-mom, right? Your DH was basically discarded like trash.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never date a guy who lived with his parents. I’d assume they’d make a terrible husband- can’t clean, can’t cook, can’t maintain an apartment on their own, and are too attached to their parents. I just don’t think it’s healthy.

I think that as soon as they graduate college they should move on

I am sure that no one would miss anything special if they were not dating you either. You seem close minded and inflexible. Best you date someone like yourself. Thankfully there is no dearth of single people.

he graduated from college in MAY2019, started Real full time job with benefits making over 50k a year in December 2019.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.

Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.

there are absolutely no benefits to living with friends. it’s just a made up thing.

I want my kids to move out when they get married. My siblings and I did exactly that (not in the US) and we are all very successful.

What a narrow mindset. If you’ve never lived with friends, how would you even know? And “success” - what does that have to do with it? Many people have lived with roommates and been successful, so that’s not really part of the equation. I hope your not singularly focused on success that you miss out on living with roommates or even alone!

why on earth would anyone want to experience living with roommates? only in the US this is some kind rite of passage. I never wanted to live with roommates, and i sure hope I never will.

+ 1

I worked for 5 years as a consultant and was basically a road warrior. Staying with my parents gave me a home and comforts that I would not have got staying in an apartment with room mates. I was able to date and marry the man of my dream, who also had a challenging career, because I was not running a home. We were able to buy a beautiful home in cash and started our married life with zero mortgage.

DD, 24, is moving out next month. I’ll be a little sad to be living alone, but we both know it’s time.

My mom always lamented that she went right from living with her parents after college to getting married and that she never got to experience being a young adult living on her own. This was said with wistfulness to me when I was a 20-something living with three roommates.

In general I think 2-3 years after they finish college would be my limit. Enough time to secure a job and build some savings.

Anonymous wrote:I would never date a guy who lived with his parents. I’d assume they’d make a terrible husband- can’t clean, can’t cook, can’t maintain an apartment on their own, and are too attached to their parents. I just don’t think it’s healthy.

I think that as soon as they graduate college they should move on

I am sure that no one would miss anything special if they were not dating you either. You seem close minded and inflexible. Best you date someone like yourself. Thankfully there is no dearth of single people.

OK - this only works for functional and loving families. Which will disqualify many families.

I have observed that during the pandemic, the working women with challenging careers who did not go to pieces when school and work became remote, were the ones who were living in huge mansions in multi-generational families.

My advice for all youngsters would be to continue to stay with your parents (but only if your family is functional), save money and leave only when there is a need to or continue to stay with them and contribute.

As the sandwich generation you will find yourself running from nursing home to daycare, trying to take care of childcare and eldercare. It is better to have the youngest and oldest generation be in one place so that they both thrive and you have peace too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 24 year old who earns $50k a year and is up for a promotion that will put her at earning $70k plus bonuses and she can remain living at home for as long as she wants to as long as she is saving money. We want her to be able to launch with enough savings for a down payment if she chooses to buy a home or enough to cover her living expenses for 1-2 years if she chooses to rent.

Why? That seems like an awful high bar to reach in order to move out. There are so many benefits to living with roommates/friends, I’m surprised so many people are dismissing it.

there are absolutely no benefits to living with friends. it’s just a made up thing.

I want my kids to move out when they get married. My siblings and I did exactly that (not in the US) and we are all very successful.

What a narrow mindset. If you’ve never lived with friends, how would you even know? And “success” - what does that have to do with it? Many people have lived with roommates and been successful, so that’s not really part of the equation. I hope your not singularly focused on success that you miss out on living with roommates or even alone!

why on earth would anyone want to experience living with roommates? only in the US this is some kind rite of passage. I never wanted to live with roommates, and i sure hope I never will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I graduated from college, it didn’t occur to me to live in my childhood home. BTW, I liked my parents and the family got along. Today, kids are willing to remain in the home because they often have their own room, bathroom, meals and WiFi ( the good life).

I moved out at 18.
I think there are definite benefits to moving out, learning to balance budget, take care of an apartment, deal with roommate relationships, etc.
But I also realize the cost of living today is significantly higher, and financially it makes more sense for kids to live at home a little longer to be economically stable.

I agree that there are pluses and minuses to both situations. Ideally, though, an adult child wouldn’t want to live at home beyond their early 20s and would be in the financial position to move out and save. Obviously this can’t always be the case but I do think it’s best for a person to have experience living independently before they get engaged or married.

Anonymous wrote:When I graduated from college, it didn’t occur to me to live in my childhood home. BTW, I liked my parents and the family got along. Today, kids are willing to remain in the home because they often have their own room, bathroom, meals and WiFi ( the good life).

I moved out at 18.
I think there are definite benefits to moving out, learning to balance budget, take care of an apartment, deal with roommate relationships, etc.
But I also realize the cost of living today is significantly higher, and financially it makes more sense for kids to live at home a little longer to be economically stable.