If you have parents, you can end up in this role even without having children. Dementia is a b*tch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good god. Procreate and be responsible. It’s not all about you and your identity.

NP. Craziest thing I’ve read on this thread. It’s responsible not to drink and drive, not to have kids or not. It’s a personal choice.

I don't know that pp is saying that all responsible people have children, but that having children forces you to be more responsible. Isn't that what the OP is complaining about? That he doesn't want to have to be responsible? Doesn't want to have to change who he is?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We aren’t millionaires and we have an au pair, three kids, and a wonderful, full, happy life. Had our first when I was 27 and DH was 28. He would tell you that you don’t actually have plenty of time and being a young dad is great. He’s very smug about it actually.

+1

My DH will agree. He is an awesome father and husband. The wellbeing of our family and the success of our children in at the forefront for him. He is also very smug about our kids and our marriage.

No one wants shortened telomeres of an older man's sperms so OP is not a prize. I wanted healthy, happy and intelligent kids and I have got them. And yes, you do not have all the time in the world. You need energy to parent. Of course, my DH ad I met in college and he was in a lucrative STEM field so he got a job out of college. If you are not settled with a good salary early in your career...

Having 1 kid shortens the telomeres for women by 10 years. You will look and feel 10 yrs older bcz physically you are. Now for dad bods, can’t explain that one except for laziness and obviously not caring for your health.

Then why do I look the same age as all my childless college and law school classmates? This sounds like fake science.

You don't.
I wish I had kids, so I'm not bragging. But lack of sleep and ages a person.

Anonymous wrote:Good god. Procreate and be responsible. It’s not all about you and your identity.

NP. Craziest thing I’ve read on this thread. It’s responsible not to drink and drive, not to have kids or not. It’s a personal choice.

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of the thread where the wife is complaining that her husband “gets“ to do errands while she’s taking care of kids. Jesus Christ, that thread is insane and is why I’ve always said that having kids is only for millionaires. You better have a paid-off house and be able to easily afford a full-time nanny before having kids.

Otherwise, that is your life – incessant misery with *grocery shopping!* as your only reprieve. I don’t know why people do this to themselves. Guy here so I can wait. I love my life and have no stress, thank you very much. Sorry not sorry.

ur a dumbass lmfao

Good god. Procreate and be responsible. It’s not all about you and your identity.

Anonymous wrote:People are too cavalier about having kids. I have two and honestly it was a mistake, DW and I should have had 1 or none. So much time and effort is going into raising these kids that I'm losing myself as a person. But they're here so I suck it up and soldier on. Its a pretty terrible existence.

Thank you for your honesty.

Anonymous wrote:You’re 100% correct. If you are not 110% into having kids don’t do it. It will consume your life 24/7..7 days a week..no break. Your prior life will cease to exist forever.

+1 What she said.

Expensive is an understatement. Baby running us dry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree - it's the hell of people that cram in 3 under 3 or 2 under 2.

I have two kids, 5 years apart and it's great. 0 fighting in my home. The older one helps out with the younger.

+ 1
7 yr apart and older DD was like a mother hen to her little brother. So loving and generous. Younger brother feels like elder sister is his hero. It is so sweet. They are in their twenties now. Best friend and just devoted to each other.

I have 4 kids and I wish we had spaced them more. Each is 2 years apart. Oldest DD is 21 and youngest DD is almost 14. They get along SO well. The almost 14 year old and her 16 year old brother fight nonstop... just little picking at each other type of events. The 16 yo (boy) and the 18 yo (also boy) are super competitive but things have eased up since our older son went to college this fall. His little brother is missing him and older DS always asks me about his little brother when we talk.

My sister has a 12 yo and then after years of fertility issues, they were able to have two more kind of close. So her kids are 12, 5 & 2. They all get along so well. The 12 year old loved/loves helping out as the big sis and isn't in the tween/teen years yet where being asked to babysit or entertain a younger sibling for a bit is the worst job ever. The 2 yo looks up to his 5 yo little sister so much and wants to copy everything she does. The 5 yo is like a little mother hen to the youngest and says things like "oh, our baby fell down mommy."