Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:22
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Anonymous wrote:1)That woman is an anomaly in that she can't go out by herself and has no single friends to go out with.
2)She is the last one in her friend group to remain unmarried in spite of being "tall" and "pretty" and multiple online dates.
3)The comment about TJ/MIT's OCW/coding academies supplementing subpar CS degrees got labeled the worst comment "OF.ALL.TIME" by someone who provided no evidence of hiring software engineers. TJ is #1 for STEM, MIT's OCW has courses from Stanford, MIT, and IIT (also best in class) and coding academy graduates are doing so much better in performance they got sued by universities out of jealousy. I suspect there are people here who peaked in college.
4)A woman clearly wrote 0 for intelligence/career/income in the "how important thread", but she's invisible to you. Don't see what you want to see.
All that being said, I went to a university where they taught racial self-segregation as a method to exclude; lying, cheating, and stealing are awesome except during 1-hour tests when you sign a pledge; when 44 rapes on campus occur make sure there is a spectacle of a rape claim retraction/lie to invalidate the others, etc. If someone didn't want to date someone normalized to misogyny, bigotry, unethical behavior, or egotism I would support them. Which is more apropos-"What is men's obsession with treating more holistic-seeking women as invisible?" or "What is OP's obsession with treating more holistic-seeking women as invisible?". Let one unsuccessful woman obsess over education--the bigger infraction is your lumping all women together and propagating a stereotype.
I know plenty of people from HYPSM who almost failed out, more than once, and barely graduated.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:21
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Well-educated" = financially well off. The same as when women say they want a man who is "ambitious".
NP here. I think this is a common misnomer. a.) "well educated" does not equate rich, at all. I know guys who graduated from HYPSM, and their wives handle everything. I know women who graduated from HYPSM, and they can multi task like their lives depend on it. Women are generally better at multitasking.
b.) I think women should educate themselves and look out for themselves. Women who "need" this or that - whether it be an "educated" man (this week, next week it will be something else - the "white kitchen syndrome") and lacking in reasoning skills and general life skills - and simply do not know how to be happy. Apparently, this kind of woman thinks such a man "validates" them. On top of that, such women have nothing to bring to the table except their insecurities and general ineptitude.
c.) One example - I was out for dinner recently with some HYPSM couples, and a non HYPSM wife chimed in - "doesn't so and so (HYPSM man) have patents (plural), and sell companies and have stocks/bonds and isn't he a millionaire?" We all broke out laughing because we know the couple she was referring to, and the wife is the one with the degrees (and the high grades - the husband almost flunked out, more than once!). There are no patents (none), no stocks and/or bonds (zilch), or payouts (zero). In fact, the wife and wife's family is the one with money and successful businesses. If they divorced, the man she was referring to (apparently the woman asking sees him as some sort of means to an end, if not "perfect" LOL) would have nothing, quite literally. But, shallow people would not see this for what it really is, because they don't know better than to only think it is the man who brought something to the table. It doesn't occur to shallow women that another woman has something to offer (looks and/or money and/or brains/education and/or special background/s and/or interesting life/hobbies/intellectual interests- sometimes all of the above). Women sometimes criticize/gossip to their own detriment.
The funny part is, it seems (the woman who asked) thinks (the guy she asked about) is her "plan B" (or "C", or "D", depending how many times she has married by now - there are more women like that, sadly so). There are women who literally see nothing wrong with spending an inordinate number of nights hanging out in high end hotel bars for this reason. You don't believe it, until you see it. It is sad that some women reduce themselves to what they "think" a man is worth. It is more sad when they are dead wrong, and end up unhappy, yet again. The old adage that "you can't buy happiness" rings true.
d.) What it comes down to, is that some women grew up poor, ashamed of who they are, and are deathly afraid of being poor - and maybe people finding out the truth. So, sadly they cling onto fables of finding the rich guy - bonus points if that woman thinks he is "perfect" (which they do think, because they don't have the sense to know better). In fact, he doesn't really exist.
There is a whole psychology behind this. It boils down to well, let's just say, I would tell my sons to run - fast and very far away from a woman like this.
I cannot get past a). It is so condescending to say that a woman who wants somebody who is well-educated is going to ignore a lack of good reasoning skills or generally life skills. And if you say that wanting to have things in common with your partner means you don’t know how to be happy, you need to learn more about how relationships work. Can two people with vastly different educational backgrounds make it work? Sure! Is it harder and something that somebody just might not want to have to work on! Probably!
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:20
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Anonymous wrote:What do you guys think of this match?
Have a bachelors degree from a known university, I LOVE to read and have read books since I was 4 yrs old with college level at 10 yrs old. Working on a masters degree but if you ask me my interests are plenty. I have never been to Europe but many times to other countries where my family lives and I love all types of food with my preference being quality over how much it costs or how elegant the place is. I am 40 but no wrinkles no obvious grays no glasses and I am thin and in shape. No one believes my age. So I met another 39 yr old and he is 6ft 1 attractive but has longer hair than I'd like. I usually dated guys who dressed in office clothes and always had regular haircuts and shaves. He worked hard when younger and owns a 2 million dollar income home in a very expensive city. He has had arthritis that started in his 30s so he is only taking small remodeling jobs now. He owns a boat, cars motorycles which I am not a fan of. Nice family. Could this work?
OMG. We know so little. Make your own decisions, for chrissake.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:20
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Anonymous wrote:A woman who wants a guy who reads a book every so often isn't being too demanding.
It's a dating profile, so you are going to use something like "well-educated" as a proxy for standards that may allow for exceptions -- but you're not writing a 50 page contract with a bunch of nuance. She presumably wants someone who has earning potential and who has the kind of intellectual heft that comes from getting more than the bare minimum education.
Yeah, but if a guy is in his 50's, he is not going much further "up". Besides, he may have some hefty debt (or an ex wife or two, plus college to pay for, plus things you haven't even thought about).
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:17
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Anonymous wrote:I think it's a class issue. I have a graduate degree from a fancy school and grew up in a wealthy area, so I know a lot of UMC folks pretty well. But, my parents did not go to college, worked blue collar jobs, and were not into the whole UMC social scene. As a result, I know lots of people who are not "well educated" but read plenty, have diverse interests, and can hold their own in an intellectual conversation. They just did not go to college and do not work professional jobs. I also know lots of UMC women who would never consider dating any of those people, because they are not "well educated." The women will say it's about "ability to hold a conversation," but either they are ignorant or they are not being honest; plenty of these folks can hold a conversation. Instead, it really seems that they want someone who will fit in with their family and friends and is not too different. This is a class issue.
+1
It is also a class issue in that there are SO many social climbers, in this geographical area, especially. It is sad to see in action. I would want a guy who could see through this.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:17
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
To the commenters saying that it’s a proxy for being rich: not everybody cares that much about money (the idea that people just cannot accept this fact is truly baffling to me), but more importantly, women on this board who say they want somebody well-educated are saying this anonymously in a forum where everybody cares about money. They will say “good income” if that is another requirement. Don’t think that most women here are being sneaky.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:17
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Education is one of the new status symbols. Newer generations are less materialistic but not less status-seeking.
Useless kumbaya degrees have zero value. I’d run the other way if someone was bragging about that waste of time.
Depends on your values.
I love getting paid to lecture on my personal opinions! Plus mold some minds on my latest and greatest whims, I mean theories.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:16
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Anonymous wrote:"Well-educated" = financially well off. The same as when women say they want a man who is "ambitious".
NP here. I think this is a common misnomer. a.) "well educated" does not equate rich, at all. I know guys who graduated from HYPSM, and their wives handle everything. I know women who graduated from HYPSM, and they can multi task like their lives depend on it. Women are generally better at multitasking.
b.) I think women should educate themselves and look out for themselves. Women who "need" this or that - whether it be an "educated" man (this week, next week it will be something else - the "white kitchen syndrome") and lacking in reasoning skills and general life skills - and simply do not know how to be happy. Apparently, this kind of woman thinks such a man "validates" them. On top of that, such women have nothing to bring to the table except their insecurities and general ineptitude.
c.) One example - I was out for dinner recently with some HYPSM couples, and a non HYPSM wife chimed in - "doesn't so and so (HYPSM man) have patents (plural), and sell companies and have stocks/bonds and isn't he a millionaire?" We all broke out laughing because we know the couple she was referring to, and the wife is the one with the degrees (and the high grades - the husband almost flunked out, more than once!). There are no patents (none), no stocks and/or bonds (zilch), or payouts (zero). In fact, the wife and wife's family is the one with money and successful businesses. If they divorced, the man she was referring to (apparently the woman asking sees him as some sort of means to an end, if not "perfect" LOL) would have nothing, quite literally. But, shallow people would not see this for what it really is, because they don't know better than to only think it is the man who brought something to the table. It doesn't occur to shallow women that another woman has something to offer (looks and/or money and/or brains/education and/or special background/s and/or interesting life/hobbies/intellectual interests- sometimes all of the above). Women sometimes criticize/gossip to their own detriment.
The funny part is, it seems (the woman who asked) thinks (the guy she asked about) is her "plan B" (or "C", or "D", depending how many times she has married by now - there are more women like that, sadly so). There are women who literally see nothing wrong with spending an inordinate number of nights hanging out in high end hotel bars for this reason. You don't believe it, until you see it. It is sad that some women reduce themselves to what they "think" a man is worth. It is more sad when they are dead wrong, and end up unhappy, yet again. The old adage that "you can't buy happiness" rings true.
d.) What it comes down to, is that some women grew up poor, ashamed of who they are, and are deathly afraid of being poor - and maybe people finding out the truth. So, sadly they cling onto fables of finding the rich guy - bonus points if that woman thinks he is "perfect" (which they do think, because they don't have the sense to know better). In fact, he doesn't really exist.
There is a whole psychology behind this. It boils down to well, let's just say, I would tell my sons to run - fast and very far away from a woman like this.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:15
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
I think it's a class issue. I have a graduate degree from a fancy school and grew up in a wealthy area, so I know a lot of UMC folks pretty well. But, my parents did not go to college, worked blue collar jobs, and were not into the whole UMC social scene. As a result, I know lots of people who are not "well educated" but read plenty, have diverse interests, and can hold their own in an intellectual conversation. They just did not go to college and do not work professional jobs. I also know lots of UMC women who would never consider dating any of those people, because they are not "well educated." The women will say it's about "ability to hold a conversation," but either they are ignorant or they are not being honest; plenty of these folks can hold a conversation. Instead, it really seems that they want someone who will fit in with their family and friends and is not too different. This is a class issue.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:14
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
How much of an idiot to you have to be to think that when a woman says “well educated” she will be fine with a guy who made spectacularly poor financial decisions? Do we need to say “well-educated but also didn’t go into massive debt for a degree that will never pay for itself?” When a guy says “I want somebody who is good-looking,” how absurd would it be for a woman to say “do you not realize that good-looking women sometimes spend their entire lives and paycheck to make themselves pretty? You want one of those women?”
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:10
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Education is one of the new status symbols. Newer generations are less materialistic but not less status-seeking.
Useless kumbaya degrees have zero value. I’d run the other way if someone was bragging about that waste of time.
Depends on your values.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:08
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
A woman who wants a guy who reads a book every so often isn't being too demanding.
It's a dating profile, so you are going to use something like "well-educated" as a proxy for standards that may allow for exceptions -- but you're not writing a 50 page contract with a bunch of nuance. She presumably wants someone who has earning potential and who has the kind of intellectual heft that comes from getting more than the bare minimum education.
It's a dating profile, so you are going to use something like "well-educated" as a proxy for standards that may allow for exceptions -- but you're not writing a 50 page contract with a bunch of nuance. She presumably wants someone who has earning potential and who has the kind of intellectual heft that comes from getting more than the bare minimum education.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:05
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Pp here to add he has travelled and still travels extensively. Sings and plays in a band sometimes.
Anonymous
10/01/2021 09:02
Subject: What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
What do you guys think of this match?
Have a bachelors degree from a known university, I LOVE to read and have read books since I was 4 yrs old with college level at 10 yrs old. Working on a masters degree but if you ask me my interests are plenty. I have never been to Europe but many times to other countries where my family lives and I love all types of food with my preference being quality over how much it costs or how elegant the place is. I am 40 but no wrinkles no obvious grays no glasses and I am thin and in shape. No one believes my age. So I met another 39 yr old and he is 6ft 1 attractive but has longer hair than I'd like. I usually dated guys who dressed in office clothes and always had regular haircuts and shaves. He worked hard when younger and owns a 2 million dollar income home in a very expensive city. He has had arthritis that started in his 30s so he is only taking small remodeling jobs now. He owns a boat, cars motorycles which I am not a fan of. Nice family. Could this work?
Have a bachelors degree from a known university, I LOVE to read and have read books since I was 4 yrs old with college level at 10 yrs old. Working on a masters degree but if you ask me my interests are plenty. I have never been to Europe but many times to other countries where my family lives and I love all types of food with my preference being quality over how much it costs or how elegant the place is. I am 40 but no wrinkles no obvious grays no glasses and I am thin and in shape. No one believes my age. So I met another 39 yr old and he is 6ft 1 attractive but has longer hair than I'd like. I usually dated guys who dressed in office clothes and always had regular haircuts and shaves. He worked hard when younger and owns a 2 million dollar income home in a very expensive city. He has had arthritis that started in his 30s so he is only taking small remodeling jobs now. He owns a boat, cars motorycles which I am not a fan of. Nice family. Could this work?
Anonymous
10/01/2021 08:59
Subject: Re:What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?
Anonymous wrote:It's a proxy for income. I have a PhD, and my friends from grad school make $150-400k.
I've also noticed some foreign cultures (east asian, indian) value graduate education in a man very highly.
I disagree. Income, earning potential, and well-educated are separate criteria that happen to overlap in some but not all ways.