Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here... My neighbors have a large pitbull that is not particularly well supervised. They also have a son the same age as mine and the boys are friends. I have made it a rule that my son can't play in their yard because of this dog. The boys are free to play in my yard. ( Their son is sort of free range and just shows up at our house unannounced.) I can tell the parents are angry about this because they have made comments about our son not being allowed to come over. Do I explain that it's because of their dog or would that make the situation even worse? I see how sensitive people are over their "sweetie" dogs but I'm just trying to do the right thing for my child.

I would tell them that the dog makes you nervous. If you want to smooth it over, just say you are afraid of dogs and wouldn't be able to relax if your kid is around theirs. This, IMO, is better than wondering why your kid isn't allowed at my house.

Why do so many people, women in particular, feel compelled to tell these little white lies to save face or make people feel good?

No. Tell the truth and be direct. There is nothing wrong with that. "Oh, Sally, I wish it were different, but we are firm on feeling that pitbulls are an inherently aggressive breed, and we don't let our kids around them. I'm sure they'll be sweet with your family, but it's a hard line for us. Bobby and Larla are welcome at our place anytime, but little Susie can't be around your dog. We know that sucks, but it's where we are with this."

It's not about women, but sometimes it's ok not to rub your personal disdain for other people's choices in their face. They still have to be neighbors. Be smart and be diplomatic. Keep the kids away from the dog and retain some semblance of your relationship with your neighbors. That's all.

That's the thing though. Being direct isn't an insult. It's honest. Honesty doesn't need to ruin a healthy friendship. Being clear and direct and forthcoming about this is respectful to the neighbor, in my opinion. People can be friends without hiding how they feel, especially when it's about things like kid friendships that you don't want to make weird or ruin. I don't get this mindset at all, but to each their own. My mom told/tells these "white lies" all the time to avoid conflict, and it was and is super effed up and she will never see that.

Ok, well not everyone is in the same boat as you, and I am sure you have lost friends over your "directness" -- I believe that it's fine that everyone isn't direct all the time. These are their neighbors. They may not have a "healthy relationship" with the neighbors, but by sheer geography, they have to see these people frequently.

Something can be insulting AND honest -- they aren't mutually exclusive. There are times when nuance is preferable to always seeing things in black and white.

And frankly, it's not a white lie. The PP is scared of pit bulls being near her kids and would not relax if they were alone with it. That's true.

You're my mother, aren't you?

God I hope not. That would be disappointing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here... My neighbors have a large pitbull that is not particularly well supervised. They also have a son the same age as mine and the boys are friends. I have made it a rule that my son can't play in their yard because of this dog. The boys are free to play in my yard. ( Their son is sort of free range and just shows up at our house unannounced.) I can tell the parents are angry about this because they have made comments about our son not being allowed to come over. Do I explain that it's because of their dog or would that make the situation even worse? I see how sensitive people are over their "sweetie" dogs but I'm just trying to do the right thing for my child.

I would tell them that the dog makes you nervous. If you want to smooth it over, just say you are afraid of dogs and wouldn't be able to relax if your kid is around theirs. This, IMO, is better than wondering why your kid isn't allowed at my house.

Why do so many people, women in particular, feel compelled to tell these little white lies to save face or make people feel good?

No. Tell the truth and be direct. There is nothing wrong with that. "Oh, Sally, I wish it were different, but we are firm on feeling that pitbulls are an inherently aggressive breed, and we don't let our kids around them. I'm sure they'll be sweet with your family, but it's a hard line for us. Bobby and Larla are welcome at our place anytime, but little Susie can't be around your dog. We know that sucks, but it's where we are with this."

It's not about women, but sometimes it's ok not to rub your personal disdain for other people's choices in their face. They still have to be neighbors. Be smart and be diplomatic. Keep the kids away from the dog and retain some semblance of your relationship with your neighbors. That's all.

That's the thing though. Being direct isn't an insult. It's honest. Honesty doesn't need to ruin a healthy friendship. Being clear and direct and forthcoming about this is respectful to the neighbor, in my opinion. People can be friends without hiding how they feel, especially when it's about things like kid friendships that you don't want to make weird or ruin. I don't get this mindset at all, but to each their own. My mom told/tells these "white lies" all the time to avoid conflict, and it was and is super effed up and she will never see that.

Ok, well not everyone is in the same boat as you, and I am sure you have lost friends over your "directness" -- I believe that it's fine that everyone isn't direct all the time. These are their neighbors. They may not have a "healthy relationship" with the neighbors, but by sheer geography, they have to see these people frequently.

Something can be insulting AND honest -- they aren't mutually exclusive. There are times when nuance is preferable to always seeing things in black and white.

And frankly, it's not a white lie. The PP is scared of pit bulls being near her kids and would not relax if they were alone with it. That's true.

You're my mother, aren't you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely want to supervise any time your kids are spending with the dog, especially at first. A rescue DOG adjusting to a new home with a bunch of excitable kids running around sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Fixed that for you.

The amended quote is accurate. We have a very sweet dog, not a pit bull, who was surrendered to the dog pound because she got overaggressive and nippy around rowdy children. She's perfect for us.

I've had several dogs of various breeds who didn't tolerate rowdy little kids. Definitely supervise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here... My neighbors have a large pitbull that is not particularly well supervised. They also have a son the same age as mine and the boys are friends. I have made it a rule that my son can't play in their yard because of this dog. The boys are free to play in my yard. ( Their son is sort of free range and just shows up at our house unannounced.) I can tell the parents are angry about this because they have made comments about our son not being allowed to come over. Do I explain that it's because of their dog or would that make the situation even worse? I see how sensitive people are over their "sweetie" dogs but I'm just trying to do the right thing for my child.

I would tell them that the dog makes you nervous. If you want to smooth it over, just say you are afraid of dogs and wouldn't be able to relax if your kid is around theirs. This, IMO, is better than wondering why your kid isn't allowed at my house.

Why do so many people, women in particular, feel compelled to tell these little white lies to save face or make people feel good?

No. Tell the truth and be direct. There is nothing wrong with that. "Oh, Sally, I wish it were different, but we are firm on feeling that pitbulls are an inherently aggressive breed, and we don't let our kids around them. I'm sure they'll be sweet with your family, but it's a hard line for us. Bobby and Larla are welcome at our place anytime, but little Susie can't be around your dog. We know that sucks, but it's where we are with this."

It's not about women, but sometimes it's ok not to rub your personal disdain for other people's choices in their face. They still have to be neighbors. Be smart and be diplomatic. Keep the kids away from the dog and retain some semblance of your relationship with your neighbors. That's all.

That's the thing though. Being direct isn't an insult. It's honest. Honesty doesn't need to ruin a healthy friendship. Being clear and direct and forthcoming about this is respectful to the neighbor, in my opinion. People can be friends without hiding how they feel, especially when it's about things like kid friendships that you don't want to make weird or ruin. I don't get this mindset at all, but to each their own. My mom told/tells these "white lies" all the time to avoid conflict, and it was and is super effed up and she will never see that.

Ok, well not everyone is in the same boat as you, and I am sure you have lost friends over your "directness" -- I believe that it's fine that everyone isn't direct all the time. These are their neighbors. They may not have a "healthy relationship" with the neighbors, but by sheer geography, they have to see these people frequently.

Something can be insulting AND honest -- they aren't mutually exclusive. There are times when nuance is preferable to always seeing things in black and white.

And frankly, it's not a white lie. The PP is scared of pit bulls being near her kids and would not relax if they were alone with it. That's true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here... My neighbors have a large pitbull that is not particularly well supervised. They also have a son the same age as mine and the boys are friends. I have made it a rule that my son can't play in their yard because of this dog. The boys are free to play in my yard. ( Their son is sort of free range and just shows up at our house unannounced.) I can tell the parents are angry about this because they have made comments about our son not being allowed to come over. Do I explain that it's because of their dog or would that make the situation even worse? I see how sensitive people are over their "sweetie" dogs but I'm just trying to do the right thing for my child.

I would tell them that the dog makes you nervous. If you want to smooth it over, just say you are afraid of dogs and wouldn't be able to relax if your kid is around theirs. This, IMO, is better than wondering why your kid isn't allowed at my house.

Why do so many people, women in particular, feel compelled to tell these little white lies to save face or make people feel good?

No. Tell the truth and be direct. There is nothing wrong with that. "Oh, Sally, I wish it were different, but we are firm on feeling that pitbulls are an inherently aggressive breed, and we don't let our kids around them. I'm sure they'll be sweet with your family, but it's a hard line for us. Bobby and Larla are welcome at our place anytime, but little Susie can't be around your dog. We know that sucks, but it's where we are with this."

It's not about women, but sometimes it's ok not to rub your personal disdain for other people's choices in their face. They still have to be neighbors. Be smart and be diplomatic. Keep the kids away from the dog and retain some semblance of your relationship with your neighbors. That's all.

That's the thing though. Being direct isn't an insult. It's honest. Honesty doesn't need to ruin a healthy friendship. Being clear and direct and forthcoming about this is respectful to the neighbor, in my opinion. People can be friends without hiding how they feel, especially when it's about things like kid friendships that you don't want to make weird or ruin. I don't get this mindset at all, but to each their own. My mom told/tells these "white lies" all the time to avoid conflict, and it was and is super effed up and she will never see that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here... My neighbors have a large pitbull that is not particularly well supervised. They also have a son the same age as mine and the boys are friends. I have made it a rule that my son can't play in their yard because of this dog. The boys are free to play in my yard. ( Their son is sort of free range and just shows up at our house unannounced.) I can tell the parents are angry about this because they have made comments about our son not being allowed to come over. Do I explain that it's because of their dog or would that make the situation even worse? I see how sensitive people are over their "sweetie" dogs but I'm just trying to do the right thing for my child.

I would tell them that the dog makes you nervous. If you want to smooth it over, just say you are afraid of dogs and wouldn't be able to relax if your kid is around theirs. This, IMO, is better than wondering why your kid isn't allowed at my house.

Why do so many people, women in particular, feel compelled to tell these little white lies to save face or make people feel good?

No. Tell the truth and be direct. There is nothing wrong with that. "Oh, Sally, I wish it were different, but we are firm on feeling that pitbulls are an inherently aggressive breed, and we don't let our kids around them. I'm sure they'll be sweet with your family, but it's a hard line for us. Bobby and Larla are welcome at our place anytime, but little Susie can't be around your dog. We know that sucks, but it's where we are with this."

It's not about women, but sometimes it's ok not to rub your personal disdain for other people's choices in their face. They still have to be neighbors. Be smart and be diplomatic. Keep the kids away from the dog and retain some semblance of your relationship with your neighbors. That's all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you need to check your facts, the things you have posted are based on rumors and maybe some google. A pit bull has the exact same jaws as any other dog. They do not “ lock” it’s ignorance like this that jerks the stereotypes going…….. give the dog a chance..

With all due respect, this breed is dangerous, locked jaws or not. They do not belong around kids or in highly populated areas.

NP. I’m so torn on this topic. Every single pit bull and pit mix I’ve met has indeed been the sweetest dog in the world. But every time you hear about a kid or even adult dying from a dog bite, it’s always a pit bull and it was always a loving family dog.

Anonymous wrote:Pitbulls can be super sweet -- you haven't even met the dog. You seem to be looking for a reason to cut these neighbors and kids out of your life so just own it.

A sweet dog can still be an unreasonably dangerous risk.

Anonymous wrote:OP you need to check your facts, the things you have posted are based on rumors and maybe some google. A pit bull has the exact same jaws as any other dog. They do not “ lock” it’s ignorance like this that jerks the stereotypes going…….. give the dog a chance..

With all due respect, this breed is dangerous, locked jaws or not. They do not belong around kids or in highly populated areas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here... My neighbors have a large pitbull that is not particularly well supervised. They also have a son the same age as mine and the boys are friends. I have made it a rule that my son can't play in their yard because of this dog. The boys are free to play in my yard. ( Their son is sort of free range and just shows up at our house unannounced.) I can tell the parents are angry about this because they have made comments about our son not being allowed to come over. Do I explain that it's because of their dog or would that make the situation even worse? I see how sensitive people are over their "sweetie" dogs but I'm just trying to do the right thing for my child.

I would tell them that the dog makes you nervous. If you want to smooth it over, just say you are afraid of dogs and wouldn't be able to relax if your kid is around theirs. This, IMO, is better than wondering why your kid isn't allowed at my house.

Why do so many people, women in particular, feel compelled to tell these little white lies to save face or make people feel good?

No. Tell the truth and be direct. There is nothing wrong with that. "Oh, Sally, I wish it were different, but we are firm on feeling that pitbulls are an inherently aggressive breed, and we don't let our kids around them. I'm sure they'll be sweet with your family, but it's a hard line for us. Bobby and Larla are welcome at our place anytime, but little Susie can't be around your dog. We know that sucks, but it's where we are with this."

My adult granddaughter's BF had a pit bull. He had it since it was a puppy, "Sweetest dog you ever met!" They were expecting a baby and I was very concerned about the dog. They were not.

My son wasn't concerned about the dog either until he went to their house one day, having been there many times before, and the dog totally unexpectedly and unprovoked bit him as he walked in the door. My granddaughter's BF was shocked! His dog had never done anything like that before!

FF to after the baby has arrived. The dog got loose, went next door and attacked a smaller dog, bloody injuries that required a $1200 vet bill. The county required them to put the pit bull down, which they did.

I am very thankful my great granddaughter will not be attacked by the sweetest dog ever.

Pitbulls can be super sweet -- you haven't even met the dog. You seem to be looking for a reason to cut these neighbors and kids out of your life so just own it.

OP ignore the posts oh but pit bulls get a bad rap.

You should do the same you would do for any dog. Put a fence around your property and be vigilant.

Can not control others. But you can control where your kids go and your property.

Also animal control. That dog gets out call, call again if it happens again and so on. This way there will be a record.

OP, the kids can play at your house. You can still be friends, just not at their house, and not around the rescue pit bull. Your concern is valid and smart and you are allowed to reasonably act on it with measured rules.