Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.

What do you mean? Gay couples have been doing it for many years. It’s called second parent adoption.

It’s easier to accomplish when there is no existing other bio parent, but stepparent adoptions are done all the time.

Correct. Normally you would name those other relatives in your will (which you will need) as preferred guardian in the event of your death.

NP and usually you have to be in a relationship with the other adopting party (i.e. stepparent) rather than say adopting with your mother or sister..
We don't know what state OP is in though so perhaps it is permissible there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.

OP. He doesn't want to sign the birth certificate, take a paternity test, pay child support, or have visitation/custody. So he's basically refusing to punish me. Not sure how ethical that is.

He does not have a choice. You file in court for child support and they handle the paternity test. Most places have child support offices and it is free. Stop playing games. You don’t want him involved and are blocking him then complaining. Nothing he can do is right.

You are correct. He doesn't want to be involved. I don't need child support that badly. I feel it is in our child's best interest for him to give up his rights, rather than having a father who comes in and out of her life on his whims. There's more to what is going on than what I've said here, but believe me, he will have very little to do with her. He'll get an itch to be fatherly, come around for a few weeks, then disappear when it gets too difficult. I understand how paternity tests work in the court system; I don't want to establish paternity because he will retaliate if I go for child support and make my life difficult.

And you're correct that nothing he does is right. Not wanting to be involved, making it difficult to establish paternity, trying to weasel out of child support - absolutely none of these are the right thing to do. I have offered him multiple options for being involved, from visitation a couple times a week to 50/50 custody, and he has excuses for why he can't do any of them. He wants to just see her when it's convenient for him (which will be rare), but he wants the option to tell me how to parent. If he isn't going to accept responsibility, then the right thing for him to do is step out of our lives entirely.

Either way, I will be doing this alone. I can guarantee that within a couple years, he'll get a girlfriend and disappear, or he'll move out of state for work, or he'll decide that he needs to "take care of himself" and step back from parenting, and he'll want to see her for maybe a month in the summer, if that. That's not much help to me.

Your actions tell him he cannot be involved. Maybe that is why he isn’t trying. You are hurting your child not spiting him.

OP, ignore the Angry Single Dad Troll. He does this in every single thread and projects his own agenda onto everyone, no matter what facts are presented. It's pathetic and weird.

Ha! Thanks. I don’t know how more obvious I can make it that I tried to get him involved. I offered 50/50 custody. I offered to do a paternity test. Hell I moved closer to him so it would be convenient for him to come over and spend time with her. He doesn’t want any of it.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are going to be just fine. You’ll love that baby like crazy and it will be hard, but you sound like a smart person who has good support. Did I read correctly that it’s a girl?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.

OP. He doesn't want to sign the birth certificate, take a paternity test, pay child support, or have visitation/custody. So he's basically refusing to punish me. Not sure how ethical that is.

He does not have a choice. You file in court for child support and they handle the paternity test. Most places have child support offices and it is free. Stop playing games. You don’t want him involved and are blocking him then complaining. Nothing he can do is right.

You are correct. He doesn't want to be involved. I don't need child support that badly. I feel it is in our child's best interest for him to give up his rights, rather than having a father who comes in and out of her life on his whims. There's more to what is going on than what I've said here, but believe me, he will have very little to do with her. He'll get an itch to be fatherly, come around for a few weeks, then disappear when it gets too difficult. I understand how paternity tests work in the court system; I don't want to establish paternity because he will retaliate if I go for child support and make my life difficult.

And you're correct that nothing he does is right. Not wanting to be involved, making it difficult to establish paternity, trying to weasel out of child support - absolutely none of these are the right thing to do. I have offered him multiple options for being involved, from visitation a couple times a week to 50/50 custody, and he has excuses for why he can't do any of them. He wants to just see her when it's convenient for him (which will be rare), but he wants the option to tell me how to parent. If he isn't going to accept responsibility, then the right thing for him to do is step out of our lives entirely.

Either way, I will be doing this alone. I can guarantee that within a couple years, he'll get a girlfriend and disappear, or he'll move out of state for work, or he'll decide that he needs to "take care of himself" and step back from parenting, and he'll want to see her for maybe a month in the summer, if that. That's not much help to me.

Your actions tell him he cannot be involved. Maybe that is why he isn’t trying. You are hurting your child not spiting him.

OP, ignore the Angry Single Dad Troll. He does this in every single thread and projects his own agenda onto everyone, no matter what facts are presented. It's pathetic and weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.

OP. He doesn't want to sign the birth certificate, take a paternity test, pay child support, or have visitation/custody. So he's basically refusing to punish me. Not sure how ethical that is.

He does not have a choice. You file in court for child support and they handle the paternity test. Most places have child support offices and it is free. Stop playing games. You don’t want him involved and are blocking him then complaining. Nothing he can do is right.

You are correct. He doesn't want to be involved. I don't need child support that badly. I feel it is in our child's best interest for him to give up his rights, rather than having a father who comes in and out of her life on his whims. There's more to what is going on than what I've said here, but believe me, he will have very little to do with her. He'll get an itch to be fatherly, come around for a few weeks, then disappear when it gets too difficult. I understand how paternity tests work in the court system; I don't want to establish paternity because he will retaliate if I go for child support and make my life difficult.

And you're correct that nothing he does is right. Not wanting to be involved, making it difficult to establish paternity, trying to weasel out of child support - absolutely none of these are the right thing to do. I have offered him multiple options for being involved, from visitation a couple times a week to 50/50 custody, and he has excuses for why he can't do any of them. He wants to just see her when it's convenient for him (which will be rare), but he wants the option to tell me how to parent. If he isn't going to accept responsibility, then the right thing for him to do is step out of our lives entirely.

Either way, I will be doing this alone. I can guarantee that within a couple years, he'll get a girlfriend and disappear, or he'll move out of state for work, or he'll decide that he needs to "take care of himself" and step back from parenting, and he'll want to see her for maybe a month in the summer, if that. That's not much help to me.

Your actions tell him he cannot be involved. Maybe that is why he isn’t trying. You are hurting your child not spiting him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.

OP. He doesn't want to sign the birth certificate, take a paternity test, pay child support, or have visitation/custody. So he's basically refusing to punish me. Not sure how ethical that is.

He does not have a choice. You file in court for child support and they handle the paternity test. Most places have child support offices and it is free. Stop playing games. You don’t want him involved and are blocking him then complaining. Nothing he can do is right.

You are correct. He doesn't want to be involved. I don't need child support that badly. I feel it is in our child's best interest for him to give up his rights, rather than having a father who comes in and out of her life on his whims. There's more to what is going on than what I've said here, but believe me, he will have very little to do with her. He'll get an itch to be fatherly, come around for a few weeks, then disappear when it gets too difficult. I understand how paternity tests work in the court system; I don't want to establish paternity because he will retaliate if I go for child support and make my life difficult.

And you're correct that nothing he does is right. Not wanting to be involved, making it difficult to establish paternity, trying to weasel out of child support - absolutely none of these are the right thing to do. I have offered him multiple options for being involved, from visitation a couple times a week to 50/50 custody, and he has excuses for why he can't do any of them. He wants to just see her when it's convenient for him (which will be rare), but he wants the option to tell me how to parent. If he isn't going to accept responsibility, then the right thing for him to do is step out of our lives entirely.

Either way, I will be doing this alone. I can guarantee that within a couple years, he'll get a girlfriend and disappear, or he'll move out of state for work, or he'll decide that he needs to "take care of himself" and step back from parenting, and he'll want to see her for maybe a month in the summer, if that. That's not much help to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.

OP. He doesn't want to sign the birth certificate, take a paternity test, pay child support, or have visitation/custody. So he's basically refusing to punish me. Not sure how ethical that is.

He does not have a choice. You file in court for child support and they handle the paternity test. Most places have child support offices and it is free. Stop playing games. You don’t want him involved and are blocking him then complaining. Nothing he can do is right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.

OP. He doesn't want to sign the birth certificate, take a paternity test, pay child support, or have visitation/custody. So he's basically refusing to punish me. Not sure how ethical that is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.

What do you mean? Gay couples have been doing it for many years. It’s called second parent adoption.

It’s easier to accomplish when there is no existing other bio parent, but stepparent adoptions are done all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you cannot give up your parental rights expect if someone else adopts the child. That's not how it works.

Yes, I know. I have family members willing to adopt.

A family mecannot just adopt without you also giving up your rights. You need to talk to a lawyer.

I have spoken to an attorney. She has done several cases like this, where one parent have up their rights and a family member adopted as the second responsible party. So yes, my family member can adopt while I retain my rights.

This does not sound legal or ethical. Good for him for refusing.