https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/

https://emilyoster.substack.com/p/scary-but-bad-caffeine-study-breastfeeding

Formula is one of the best inventions in human history. I have never loved a product so much.

That said, I had trouble breastfeeding. I had to use the nipple shield and then only one breast.

But some advice that real stuck with me is stop breastfeeding when either you or the baby resents it.

Also, Emily Oster breaks down the stats with breastfeeding and it isn’t a miracle drug (unless you have a premie). It helps with diarrhea and probably one less ear infection. The biggest benefit it offers besides closeness and convenience is it lowers the risk of breast cancer in mothers.

Anonymous wrote:Stopping because it isn't working or because it's difficult with other responsibilities is one thing. Stopping because you "don't like it" is just kinda selfish. I'm very supportive of bottle feeding and did both with my kids but you seem to be pulling the plug on something that is 1. beneficial to your baby and 2. important to your DH simply because of a personal whim. The poor guy is doing all he can to support you in something and you're being dramatic.

+1.

Dh is welcome to breastfeed if he feels so strongly about it. Your body, you decide. You already carried the baby and gave birth, smth he didn't have to do. So your opinion counts for more and if he disagrees, tough cookies. Buy sudafed for yourself and formula for baby, and done.

Anonymous wrote:Stopping because it isn't working or because it's difficult with other responsibilities is one thing. Stopping because you "don't like it" is just kinda selfish. I'm very supportive of bottle feeding and did both with my kids but you seem to be pulling the plug on something that is 1. beneficial to your baby and 2. important to your DH simply because of a personal whim. The poor guy is doing all he can to support you in something and you're being dramatic.

You are a garbage human. OP, don't listen to this hypocritical freak. She's the type of woman who is anti-abortion but thinks her abortion is "different." Your discomfort, and your feelings about what to do with your own body, aren't whims or personal conveniences. They are important and they matter. Your baby will be completely fine with formula. Your DH may well just be trying to figure out how to get control of things in this new situation you all are now in, since he necessarily been something of a sidelined watcher for so much of your pregnancy and now this newborn stage, but he needs to learn to cope with his anxiety on his own. And I agree with others that you need a new pediatrician. Yours had an agenda she's clearly willing to sacrifice you to.

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Anonymous wrote:Maybe have a talk together with the pediatrician who can share how the baby will be fine with formula and how the mental health of the mother is essential to bonding. It’s really challenging to have these conversations when you’re sleep deprived and dealing with the newness of being parents. Having a third party might help with that conversation. The pediatrician is focused solely on the baby.

+1 Formula is a perfectly good option, OP, but I understand you and DH are probably struggling to have a fair conversation about it right now with the new baby. The ped is a good resource.

Maybe you can talk to the ped/DH about combo feeding? Would a nursing session or two a day work for you?

OP here. The pediatrician is on his side. She said we should ultimately do what I think is best, but advised us to breastfeed if it’s going well because of the pandemic and cold/flu season.

But it’s NOT going well. You’re struggling. You don’t want to do it.

OP here. I don’t want to do it but it is going well. He eats well and is gaining weight. We have not had any issues that some experience like tongue ties or latch issues. He loves breastfeeding. The issue is not him breastfeeding, it’s the fact that I always have leaking nipples and breasts full of milk that hurt. I can’t sleep for very long without needing to breastfeed or pump.

Ah, yeah the engirgement is such a pain — if it helps at all, my supply started stabilizing and I was able to sleep as long as the baby did with waking up with achy boobs by 3-4 weeks. Can you just hand express or use a hakaa at night? The pumping is probably contributing to your discomfort since your body thinks the baby needs to eat.

OP here. I do use the Haakaa during the day but it’s not enough at night. I go 5/6 hours at night and wake up with very full breasts. I make the most milk then and he only eats from one breast. I pump the other one while he eats.

I have thought about not pumping until empty at that time but it’s early and I heard that can cause clogs.

You can unclog clogs. Some women are prone to them, but I’ve gotten…two, ever? In about six years total of breastfeeding. And neither early on with a baby. You’ll keep making a lot of milk at night if you keep pumping after the long sleep. A tiny bit for comfort is fine, but if you empty the breast you’re going to keep producing more than you need at that time.

This- can you switch the baby halfway thru the feed and then get some relief from both sides but not overstimulate your body at night? I don’t think you need to worry about fore/hind milk at 4 am if your baby is growing.

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Anonymous wrote:Your body….your decision.

Yes, but he counts too.

No, he does not.

Op, I hated breastfeeding for the first 6 weeeks. I literally wrote multiple posts crying on dcum about it because it was so bad, but things just did a 180 and I love it now- 11 months strong and am likely going to try to continue till baby is 18 months. I always told myself to take it a week at a time. Maybe try that- things do fall into place once supply regulates at 10 weeks or so and baby feeds quicker. Then it becomes bonding magic.

Anonymous wrote:Your body….your decision.

Yes, but he counts too.

Were you vaccinated while pregnant? Shouldn't that have given your baby some antibodies already? Seems like breastfeeding would just be icing the cake.

Save money and lose weight easier by nursing. Win + win!

Stopping because it isn't working or because it's difficult with other responsibilities is one thing. Stopping because you "don't like it" is just kinda selfish. I'm very supportive of bottle feeding and did both with my kids but you seem to be pulling the plug on something that is 1. beneficial to your baby and 2. important to your DH simply because of a personal whim. The poor guy is doing all he can to support you in something and you're being dramatic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe have a talk together with the pediatrician who can share how the baby will be fine with formula and how the mental health of the mother is essential to bonding. It’s really challenging to have these conversations when you’re sleep deprived and dealing with the newness of being parents. Having a third party might help with that conversation. The pediatrician is focused solely on the baby.

+1 Formula is a perfectly good option, OP, but I understand you and DH are probably struggling to have a fair conversation about it right now with the new baby. The ped is a good resource.

Maybe you can talk to the ped/DH about combo feeding? Would a nursing session or two a day work for you?

OP here. The pediatrician is on his side. She said we should ultimately do what I think is best, but advised us to breastfeed if it’s going well because of the pandemic and cold/flu season.

It isn’t “going well” of you are miserable

What are you and your DH doing that your baby is going to be at super high risk for catching COVID?


Not much. Do what's right for you. An unhappy and miserable mom is more damaging to a baby than not being breastfed for 6 months.

Oh, FWIW, my pediatrician said her best guess for how long after vaccination the antibodies would persist in the milk (based on how it is with other vaccines we’ve studied) is about six months.