I want to have an affair now. My wife controls my sex life and parses sex out as she sees fit. It’s frustrating because once every 2 weeks is not enough, but I’m the ashole for initiating. I’m so supposed to be content with my lot in life according to her. I’m fking 40 years old. I want to fk all the time. If I could get laid without getting caught and catching an std, I would.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always funny to me when women answer as men and I'm not saying all men cheat because they definitely don't but only one of the responses so far is written by a man

Agree. First response was a guy, rest are women.

Yeah, obviously any guy that doesn't answer the way you think they would just isn't a guy.

Tidy way not to have to encounter any information that doesn't agree with what you already think.

Anonymous wrote:My own sense of integrity. Golden rule/treat others well regardless of their own actions. I just feel like once I cheat I can never take it back and it would be nice to at least have my own honor intact if I can’t have the relationship of my dreams.

I think my husband is like you. I think his self-worth and self-respect would suffer too much if he cheated and he would not want to lose respect of his family, especially kids. I think it's just a different type of a mindset than someone who cheats.

Anonymous wrote:Most stable normal people don't want to lose their spouse or kids, over a dirty napkin. In all honesty that's what interlopers are. It would put me in that same category. And I value myself more than that, as well as my family.

I would rather work out a issue, or go to counseling if need be. If it's that bad I would divorce, date down the road. Lastly, I would be scared to death to catch something because if someones willing to cheat with a married person then I assume they've been around the block.

Yep. When they are willing to go from meeting on the Internet to into bed immediately —which is how it works on AM- they have been at this rodeo awhile. Not very discriminating.

I would love to have an affair with Sasha Alexander but she hasn't come within my sphere of contact nor expressed any interest in doing so.

Most stable normal people don't want to lose their spouse or kids, over a dirty napkin. In all honesty that's what interlopers are. It would put me in that same category. And I value myself more than that, as well as my family.

I would rather work out a issue, or go to counseling if need be. If it's that bad I would divorce, date down the road. Lastly, I would be scared to death to catch something because if someones willing to cheat with a married person then I assume they've been around the block.

My own sense of integrity. Golden rule/treat others well regardless of their own actions. I just feel like once I cheat I can never take it back and it would be nice to at least have my own honor intact if I can’t have the relationship of my dreams.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Fear of getting caught.

woman here.. my DH knows that if he did cheat, I would somehow find out. He's careless, and I'm very perceptive, plus I control the finances.

If he did cheat, he knows that I would divorce him, and take half the assets. He wants to retire early really badly (and he is on track to do that). But, if he had to split his assets, he knows he can kiss his early retirement goodbye.

He knows I can be ruthless.

Must me awesome knowing he loves you so much.

PP here.. I know he loves me. We just celebrated 20 years of marriage and have a decent marriage. It's not all rainbows and puppy dogs, but it's solid. We still have sex, and we're in our 50.

He is very loving, but he knows how I am. Trust and fidelity are very important to me. He knows that. Once that's broken, he knows there's no going back.

Plus, his dad cheated on his mom when he was an older teen, and he saw what his mom went through, and vowed he'd never to do that. To this day, he doesn't like his dad that much (though there are other things that contributed to it). He vowed to be a different father and husband than his dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always funny to me when women answer as men and I'm not saying all men cheat because they definitely don't but only one of the responses so far is written by a man

Agree. First response was a guy, rest are women.

Nope. I wrote the 14:38 Golden Rule response, and I am a man.

Yours was the only one I thought was a man by that point in the thread, mainly because of the poor punctuation. 😄

It id properly punctuated. You're not as smart as you think you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always funny to me when women answer as men and I'm not saying all men cheat because they definitely don't but only one of the responses so far is written by a man

Yes, it's pretty obvious.

If it says “would not have ever done it but the wife no longer wants sex but I found somebody who does” that’s how you know it was written by a man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always funny to me when women answer as men and I'm not saying all men cheat because they definitely don't but only one of the responses so far is written by a man

Agree. First response was a guy, rest are women.

Nope. I wrote the 14:38 Golden Rule response, and I am a man.

Yours was the only one I thought was a man by that point in the thread, mainly because of the poor punctuation. 😄

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Fear of getting caught.

woman here.. my DH knows that if he did cheat, I would somehow find out. He's careless, and I'm very perceptive, plus I control the finances.

If he did cheat, he knows that I would divorce him, and take half the assets. He wants to retire early really badly (and he is on track to do that). But, if he had to split his assets, he knows he can kiss his early retirement goodbye.

He knows I can be ruthless.

Must me awesome knowing he loves you so much.

Not the pp, but I don’t expect anyone to love me every day for decades. Kids come, parents get sick, spouses get sick, people have midlife crises, etc.
There needs to be something else there to back it up for those days/weeks that you maybe aren’t feeling so loving.

Anonymous wrote:The idea of life after, if I got caught.

Lonely condo or TH. Only seeing my kids 50% of the time, at best.

Not worth it, at all.

Married woman here: I don’t think about cheating, but this is my fantasy. Is that bad?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d have a hard time explaining it to my kids.

+1 Can you imagine the disappointment and sadness you’d bring them. They may also grow up thinking that’s the norm. F that.

If the kids are fairly young they won't understand what is going on at all. My mother cheated on my dad and I definitely sided with her. Kids are quite resilient and can still come out the other end just fine and well adjusted. Sometimes the person being cheated on is not the victim.

See the PP two posts earlier than yours.

Yes, the kids will eventually know and understand. The risk is that they will not be ok. Is it worth that risk? I say no. Not my kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Fear of getting caught.

woman here.. my DH knows that if he did cheat, I would somehow find out. He's careless, and I'm very perceptive, plus I control the finances.

If he did cheat, he knows that I would divorce him, and take half the assets. He wants to retire early really badly (and he is on track to do that). But, if he had to split his assets, he knows he can kiss his early retirement goodbye.

He knows I can be ruthless.

Must me awesome knowing he loves you so much.