Anonymous wrote:It is an outdated southern tradition that most of the US, and the world, does not participate in. Find a manners class insteead

There's still debutantes and debut balls in Northern cities.....

I don't get why people are against trying different things - and cotillion is a different thing.

My boys are sports bros. They need exposure to something else. They also do music and now they're trying cotillon. They're still sports bros but have some flexibility.

I don't understand what is wrong with cotillion. When I went in middle school, the purpose was to learn more traditional dances that you might see at a wedding (waltz, fox trot, etc) and fun dances, like the pretzel. Laugh all you want but I still know all of them today and it is very fun to do things like the pretzel at events if you can find someone that knows how. Every week had a theme (Halloween, Rodeo, Holly Ball).

Ours wasn't a manners class, but you had to be polite. We literally just danced. The nights were organized by schools so kids were going with their classmates and there was a strong attempt for gender balance.

At my college, they actually had a PE called "social dance" which basically was the exact same thing, and it was the most popular PE at the school and the hardest to get into (and I went to a huge flagship public university).

Not everyone is lucky enough to be on Dancing with the Stars to learn how to dance. I was disappointed in the NOVA cotillions and aren't sending my children to the ones here. But in my hometown people still send their children to the same one I went to as a child, and it has a very diverse attendance.

Is this the National Association of Junior Cotillions thing? That's a basic for-profit company that doesn't seem to teach anything about manners that kids couldn't learn at home, assuming their parents understand the absolute basics or are willing to buy a copy of Miss Manners.

The dance lessons are pretty limited, and unless kids go to formal dances throughout middle and high school they'll have to learn it again the traditional way: taking a class in college and ending up at their partner's throat.

Despite the lack of actual utility, I know some kids, mostly boys, who had fun and who likes getting a regular opportunity to socialize with girls.

If this is real cotillion, I've got nothing.

I'm appalled at one of my children's lack of manners despite all the prompting I provide. Her friends are signed up and she's interested so I signed her up. I think having manners serves people well in life so I don't see any downside on in the program.

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Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.

Your boys are weird. Most normal boys would rather have a root canal than "dress up and go to a little party at the neighborhood event center."

I think in a manners class one can learn things like it’s rude to call kids weird!

A bunch of PPs here could themselves benefit from Cotillion.

Oh, please. You’re talking about kindness. Cotillion just teaches you to butter your bread one piece at a time.

I don’t have a problem with the food manners, but I do have a problem with the “manners” that are sexist and old school.

Actually, the manners they teach apply to the workplace too, and are not sexist. As a PhD mom of 2 girls I would never stick them in a dated sexist situation. However, I'm open minded enough to look beneath the surface on this one rather than rely on dated stereotypes. Perhaps, you could benefit too?

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Anonymous wrote:Who does this? Teach your child manners at home, over the course of their whole childhood. If your child doesn’t have good manners, a 6 week course isn’t going to fix what home life over the past 12 yrs failed to teach. They will revert back to whatever your normal is at home.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you have one child, on non-athletic children.

Well I agree with the PP and I have multiple children who play travel sports... and would not be caught dead at cotillion.

Good! No dead people allowed. They can't navigate the social scene.

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Anonymous wrote:It’s not something I’d ever put my kids in. I can’t believe how many “woke” parents put their kids in it (looking at you arlington).

Oh look, it’s the poster obsessed with wokeness.

Of all the threads.

Your obsession is so tiresome.

No, I'm making fun of the wokeness.

They act so progressive then send kids to a plantation dance. So bizarre.

Did teaching manners become outdated? We are progressive and want our kids (both girls) to learn manners. It does go into workplace equality too! I think it's easier even for progressives like me to know how the "rules" are changing and evolving in every situation. We prepare our kids academically. Why not socially? It matters more.

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Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.

+1. It's weird to think of it as "status conscious." It's not at all like that.

My boys play sports and are very athletic. They play x-box and play outside with their friends. Cotillion is a good addition that rounds them out a bit. They can score at the game AND grab the correct fork and tie their ties. It's not that big of a deal.

But why can’t you teach them that yourself? Or do you not know how?

Why can’t you teach everything yourself? Why send kids to school?

+1. We do teach them manners and all sorts of things. Things that need reinforcement in a variety of different settings with different people, under different circumstances.

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Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.

Your boys are weird. Most normal boys would rather have a root canal than "dress up and go to a little party at the neighborhood event center."

I think in a manners class one can learn things like it’s rude to call kids weird!

A bunch of PPs here could themselves benefit from Cotillion.

Oh, please. You’re talking about kindness. Cotillion just teaches you to butter your bread one piece at a time.

If you did it - you would know it’s about being kind too.

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Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.

Your boys are weird. Most normal boys would rather have a root canal than "dress up and go to a little party at the neighborhood event center."

I think in a manners class one can learn things like it’s rude to call kids weird!

A bunch of PPs here could themselves benefit from Cotillion.

Oh, please. You’re talking about kindness. Cotillion just teaches you to butter your bread one piece at a time.

I don’t have a problem with the food manners, but I do have a problem with the “manners” that are sexist and old school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.

Your boys are weird. Most normal boys would rather have a root canal than "dress up and go to a little party at the neighborhood event center."

I think in a manners class one can learn things like it’s rude to call kids weird!

A bunch of PPs here could themselves benefit from Cotillion.

Oh, please. You’re talking about kindness. Cotillion just teaches you to butter your bread one piece at a time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.

Your boys are weird. Most normal boys would rather have a root canal than "dress up and go to a little party at the neighborhood event center."

I think in a manners class one can learn things like it’s rude to call kids weird!

A bunch of PPs here could themselves benefit from Cotillion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are doing it for our boys. It’s not at all some kind of fancy high society event, just kids dressing up and going to a little party at the neighborhood event center. I like the classes because they do teach manners in a fun and engaging way and make it a social thing the kids look forward to. The little dance/cotillion is a fun excuse for the kids to dress up and feel fancy and grown up.

I would compare it more to confirmation classes and confirmation than some elaborate debutante ball.

Your boys are weird. Most normal boys would rather have a root canal than "dress up and go to a little party at the neighborhood event center."

I think in a manners class one can learn things like it’s rude to call kids weird!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who does this? Teach your child manners at home, over the course of their whole childhood. If your child doesn’t have good manners, a 6 week course isn’t going to fix what home life over the past 12 yrs failed to teach. They will revert back to whatever your normal is at home.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you have one child, on non-athletic children.

Well I agree with the PP and I have multiple children who play travel sports... and would not be caught dead at cotillion.

Same.

My kid is not super sporty and agreed to do cotillion because friends were doing it. Does that make your sporty kids better or can we be mature enough to accept kids doing different things?