if i have not read the whole thread but to answer your question i do it because i live in a place where there are zero professional jobs (out of state) and the options i have for job options within driving distance include working at Walmart. Buc-ees, fast food, etc. it would cost more to pay for after school babysitting than i would earn. i considered working at the local school but it did not seem to work out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work part time but between the two of us, we make $100k and it is tight but doable. Besides the obvious cutting out of eating out, expensive clothes, vacations, etc, we also have a cushion of $5000 in our checking at all times. It took us several years to build that up but now that we have it, we never touch our savings and it has really allowed our savings to snowball. Since we already have the cushion, any kind of tax refund or stimulus or extra cash goes straight into savings.

Another tip is that I consign all of their clothes. I basically pay for the next season of clothes with the money I make from consigning.

Np. Can you explain more about consigning?

Each season, I invest in about 5 new pieces per child from brands that I know I can consign. (Always look for sales of course). Then I take the 5 nice pieces from last season and bring them to a consignment shop. I get a store credit which offers a higher percentage of the sale. Then I use that credit to buy clothes from the consignment shop. Some seasons, I have to supplement with some cheaper basics from Target but for the most part, this system works well for me!

Anonymous wrote:I work part time but between the two of us, we make $100k and it is tight but doable. Besides the obvious cutting out of eating out, expensive clothes, vacations, etc, we also have a cushion of $5000 in our checking at all times. It took us several years to build that up but now that we have it, we never touch our savings and it has really allowed our savings to snowball. Since we already have the cushion, any kind of tax refund or stimulus or extra cash goes straight into savings.

Another tip is that I consign all of their clothes. I basically pay for the next season of clothes with the money I make from consigning.

Np. Can you explain more about consigning?

I work part time but between the two of us, we make $100k and it is tight but doable. Besides the obvious cutting out of eating out, expensive clothes, vacations, etc, we also have a cushion of $5000 in our checking at all times. It took us several years to build that up but now that we have it, we never touch our savings and it has really allowed our savings to snowball. Since we already have the cushion, any kind of tax refund or stimulus or extra cash goes straight into savings.

Another tip is that I consign all of their clothes. I basically pay for the next season of clothes with the money I make from consigning.

I worked evenings and weekends only for years. It was exhausting. Thankfully child is now in elementary school and extended day is reasonably priced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

But this isn't low income. This is high net worth and low salary. If, God forbid, something bad happened, you could sell your house. I think it's arrogant to put yourself in the same boat as OP. OP doesn't have "play money."

The PP is not telling the truth, and has derailed OPs thread. Also, not a good parent.

Anonymous wrote:
Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

But this isn't low income. This is high net worth and low salary. If, God forbid, something bad happened, you could sell your house. I think it's arrogant to put yourself in the same boat as OP. OP doesn't have "play money."

OP what is your background? Do you have a degree and some teaching experience? Maybe you can teach for one of the online english schools overseas a couple nights a week while your husband watches the kids?

OP what is your background? Do you have a degree and some teaching experience? Maybe you can teach for one of the online english schools overseas a couple nights a week while your husband watches the kids?

Could become an in-home daycare provider.

Similar to you when my kids were young, although we maybe were a little more financially secure. I wanted to stay home and knew it would not be cost effective for me to pay for childcare because my salary was not high. Over the years, I worked out some part-time positions that I really enjoyed and was able to work in ways that made me feel fulfilled (not that you have to work to feel this way - but I preferred to personally).

For a while, I mostly worked evenings while my DH worked days, and he would do bedtime with the kid(s). That worked well because he wanted to be with them in the evening after being at work all day, and I either wanted a break or wanted to do something different and get out of the house. I taught some adult education classes in the evenings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

I can’t wrap my head around these numbers, unless you had kids at 45

That whole post is so bonkers that I think it is someone mocking SAHMs.

You have to be joking. There is no way you live in a 1.8M house on that salary given taxes and utilities alone except if someone purchased it for you. And, no way your mortgage is $300 except if someone paid it off for you. I have refinanced and done two recasts and my mortgage is still $1200 as we have been heavily paying it off and my house is 1/5 what yours costs. There is no way you can mostly fund college and other things.

I assumed she meant mortgage is $300k. But yes, still very unrealistic.

I read this post as totally sarcastic.

Yes. The post is satirizing DCUM SAHMs. It has effectively derailed OPs totally legit question too, unfortunately.

After re-reading it, I agree…it sounds like they were attempting to be sarcastic. Their sarcasm sucks, though. They didn’t lay it on thick enough. Reads more like a troll.

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot of SAHP at DCUM have high earning spouses and can manage to keep a high household income while only one parent works.

I want to hear from middle class or poor families where a parent has decided to stay home. What’s your reasoning?

For us, we calculated that daycare costs while are children are infants would be more than I’d being home. I’m in a very low wage field that’s very taxing, demanding and unpredictable so it made sense for me to stay home to cut the childcare costs. Of course without my income that puts a lot of pressure on my spouse who has just begun his career and his beginning salary is DCUM low but nationally mid-range. We definitely struggle and have had to make a lot of financial sacrifices. I’m still figuring out ways to supplement my income while staying at home (that’s not an MLM). I’m sure not tons of people here are in the same situation but I’d love to hear from you if you are

It usually comes down to childcare costing more than the lower-earning parent bringing in.

Coupons, rebate apps for groceries, bulk buy, batch cook, grow your own herbs and some veggies in your kitchen, pay for a csa box, etc. Look for an app that gives a rebate on gasoline, etc.

Make friends with same age children and trade childcare mornings during the week to maximize your ability to do errands.

Make the kid car safe, but the other car (if it's not cheaper to sell the second and use public transit) can be cheap, carry just pl/pd.

Look for quick surveys on Mindfield, Mturk, etc. Sign up to do secret shopper assignments.

Pay for one bulk store and upgrade to the premium membership to get free shipping, earlier hours and money back.

Comparison shop on amazon and other sites. Frankly? You can find basic kids clothes super cheap.

It is a tough spot you are in. 68k sounds like a lot when on a grad stipend, and to folks in the rust belt you’d be rich, but in DC it is so little. And the first year on the Tenure track is so intense…you must feel sometimes like a single mom with your husband’s hours.

Hang in there until you can work again—making a Hhi of 150k is a game changer, and DC has so many good jobs for highly educated couples. I mean even a teacher with a BA makes 58k with no experience, so don’t fall into the adjunct trap (if that is what you’re ere referring to by an uncertain job prospect for you.).

I don’t know where you husband works but I’d seriously consider moving to DC for the free prek3 and prek4, which will save your family 100k over 2 years. I think it is a common fallacy that it’s cheaper to live far out—far cheaper to live in DC in a rent controlled 2bd with one or zero cars.

In the meantime don’t be shy about using charity, like free coat drives, food pantries, getting those free meals from the schools if they still offer them, dc diaper bank, WIC, a wider circle, etc. go to free library programs, walk the mall, go to nature centers and the smithsonian, lovely playgrounds.

OP, I’m in the same situation. We have 3 under 5 and DH works while I stay home. The friends I know who were able to earn a side income either babysat another child during the day or they worked pt and remotely online in the evenings (one did grant writing, another an esl instructor and another freelance writing for blogs). I actually did babysit very pt and this was the most convenient option for me. I did have to charge less because I was watching the child along with my own but I was ok with that. Best of luck to you!