Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are written by people who aren't over 50. We still feel young. We want to get marriage right. We want the commitment in front of God, church, family, and community. We want to be a husband or a wife. When I see a happy obviously in love older married couple, they're probably on their second marriage.

50s is also not old. some are some aren't.

some also are on their first marriage.

Anonymous wrote:I divorced in my 50s. Physically fit and financially sound.

When dating several years later, I was surprised that most women in their 50s who I met through OLD were looking for a husband. They were looking to have the happy marriage that they did not have their first time. None were bitter about their first marriages, had moved on emotionally from their exH, and clearly were not in the “never again” camp. Like me, most had done therapy to put the past in the rearview mirror rather than to dwell on it each day. I am now happily remarried in my 60s.

Anonymous wrote:Can’t understand remarriage in 50s unless for financial need.

Anonymous wrote:These posts are written by people who aren't over 50. We still feel young. We want to get marriage right. We want the commitment in front of God, church, family, and community. We want to be a husband or a wife. When I see a happy obviously in love older married couple, they're probably on their second marriage.

Anonymous wrote:I am 52 and see lots of advantages in getting married again. I expect I'll be comfortable, but not swimming in money when I retire, so why would I want to carry the expense of a house all by myself when I could share that with my life partner? I'd also want to avoid dealing with the maintenance of two separate houses. Why have to shovel two sidewalks when you only need to deal with one? All of the money could go toward more fun stuff.

And really, who wants to refer to someone as grandma's boyfriend?! If it's a partner, then make him a partner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be one of the most depressing threads I’ve ever read.

50 isn’t 80 folks.

Its also not 30 Where you are stupid enough to think “you complete me”.

Ok, I'm jumping in here-I'm 50, divorcing and NEVER getting married again!

I have my own career, my own money/retirement (such as it is, it's enough), I had all the kids I wanted (and they're awesome!). Not interested in taking care of another aging, grumpy, messy man and crazier older inlaws. Not going to be a stepmom! My money is going to MY kids, not getting fought over by second dh's/stepkids.

That being said-I might have gotten married again at 30 had I been single then. I would probably have wanted kids with a new dh then. I get why younger people remarry. But I sure don't get why 50 + would!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the point of marrying over 50. You won't have kids. You would be wise to have separate houses and finances. So why?

Agree with the above except the part about having separate houses. Why is that an advantage ?

Separate houses are an advantage because you'd have to pick one person's house to live in. If that person dies first, presumably their heirs (children) would sell the house and the surviving partner then has to look for new housing which might not be easy or affordable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve generally been in the “why marry again” camp. But at 55 and having seen my parents getting old, my mother dealing with my father’s decline and death, I am starting to see a benefit to being married as we age - having no issue making health and financial decisions for each other, funeral arrangements, etc.

Many times widows who were caregivers to their late husbands don’t want the possibility of doing it again.

And some do.

Want to be caregivers again? Please tell.

My mother for one. After my dad died, she married a portly man who is in his late 80s.