Anonymous
12/21/2024 13:09
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
So many women on DCUM claim to be highly educated, but they are not clever.
I waited to have my child (SMC) until I had enough saved to pay for childcare. It was not my employer's responsibility. I also worked out an exchange with a co-work er who worked a different shift. Ya gotta be clever.
When we were school aged, my mom worked 9-3 on school days, plus 8-4 Saturdays. She loved the schedule; as she could do the bookkeeping and payroll on Saturday in a relatively quiet office. On Saturdays, we kids were watched by Dad, did our homework, watched TV, helped Dad make pancakes, helped with the yard work, did our chores, rode bikes with dad to 7-11 for slurpees, etc etc etc.
My parents did not have children until there was money in the bank to pay for childcare until school-age.
You know, clever.
I waited to have my child (SMC) until I had enough saved to pay for childcare. It was not my employer's responsibility. I also worked out an exchange with a co-work er who worked a different shift. Ya gotta be clever.
When we were school aged, my mom worked 9-3 on school days, plus 8-4 Saturdays. She loved the schedule; as she could do the bookkeeping and payroll on Saturday in a relatively quiet office. On Saturdays, we kids were watched by Dad, did our homework, watched TV, helped Dad make pancakes, helped with the yard work, did our chores, rode bikes with dad to 7-11 for slurpees, etc etc etc.
My parents did not have children until there was money in the bank to pay for childcare until school-age.
You know, clever.
Anonymous
12/21/2024 12:26
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.
The nanny was probably with them.
So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ?
Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids.
+100
I made a similar point earlier on in this thread. This whole thing is rooted in misogyny.
For whatever reason people are angry at the thought of a mom being able to balance a full time job and have the flexibility to get your kids from the bus after school or pop out to a school event mid-day.
If a dad does this type of thing he’s basically celebrated. But I think there’s a) a lot of women out there who had it much harder (either having to leave the workforce or outsource a ton of childcare) and b) men who sneer at having to compete with “a mom” in the workplace.
Many dads I know have far more flexibility than moms. My husband did till recently.
Dads are also celebrated for doing basic child care while moms are often labeled as unreliable.
Anonymous
12/21/2024 12:24
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:It’s not a lack of childcare that’s the problem; it’s that these women want to have it both ways. They don’t want to pay anyone else to watch their children, they prefer to fleece their employers.
This! They tried to game the system and save some money. Too bad so sad
Anonymous
12/21/2024 12:17
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
There is no one is my circle who sits and stares at a computer screen all day at their dining room table.
Go get to work like the rest of us do. Take a few (unpaid?) weeks off while you find a babysitter. Y'know, real world stuff.
Go get to work like the rest of us do. Take a few (unpaid?) weeks off while you find a babysitter. Y'know, real world stuff.
Anonymous
12/10/2024 02:08
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.
Time to return to reality, ladies.
Why are you only putting the onus on the ladies? 🙄
And plenty of us paid for high quality infant care. We didn’t foist it on grandparents with outdated notions of gender roles. But moochers gonna mooch.
I say “ladies” because we all know there are no men on this thread. And in my post I made clear that THEY - not “she” - made arrangements for childcare when THEY decided to have kids.
I’m also sorry that you don’t have a more helpful mother. Sucks for you.
Not PP but my mom is dead and my MIL lives several states away. I hope you're teaching your grandkids better critical thinking skills than you are showing right now.
We are very fortunate that our daycare and ES before/aftercare stayed open during the pandemic. But I know of others that closed. The aftercare at my nephews' school closed and for a while my sister/BIL just got along without because BIL was working from home (sister is a teacher in a different district). They're old enough now to come home on their own but AFAIK the aftercare program never came back.
The only person I know IRL who is trying to work at home with a baby is a neighbor whose "helpful mother" can only come 3 days per week. She somehow works and cares for the baby simultaneously for the other 2 days. I don't think it's a money thing, just a strong belief that kids shouldn't be in daycare before age 1.
Anonymous
12/09/2024 23:00
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.
The nanny was probably with them.
So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ?
Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids.
+100
I made a similar point earlier on in this thread. This whole thing is rooted in misogyny.
For whatever reason people are angry at the thought of a mom being able to balance a full time job and have the flexibility to get your kids from the bus after school or pop out to a school event mid-day.
If a dad does this type of thing he’s basically celebrated. But I think there’s a) a lot of women out there who had it much harder (either having to leave the workforce or outsource a ton of childcare) and b) men who sneer at having to compete with “a mom” in the workplace.
Agree 100% with everything you said, but wanted to add something about pandemic WFH.
The first 6 - 12 months of the pandemic did two things: (1) play to the strengths of women who were already used to being very efficient and flexible to manage both work and family, and (2) highlight how little a certain, mostly-male managerial class actually does at work. (Yes, not all men, etc. - but there were a LOT of men who had no idea what to do without an office to wander around and chat in.) I think these men felt useless or outperformed in their jobs at the same time they were getting overwhelmed at home by the work-life juggling that was more familiar to female peers and their spouse.
Then, as the pandemic dragged on and WHF was widely accepted, women who had been underemployed for family reasons (e.g., to do that after-school run or keep that part-time or WFH-friendly job that didn't pay much) were able to advance. Those women were always capable, but commuting to an office kept them from doing important family stuff so they didn't take those jobs or promotions. There are more women in the workforce full time, and more women in leadership, because of widespread WFH - and certain people hate that.
Anonymous
12/09/2024 22:47
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.
The nanny was probably with them.
So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ?
Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids.
+100
I made a similar point earlier on in this thread. This whole thing is rooted in misogyny.
For whatever reason people are angry at the thought of a mom being able to balance a full time job and have the flexibility to get your kids from the bus after school or pop out to a school event mid-day.
If a dad does this type of thing he’s basically celebrated. But I think there’s a) a lot of women out there who had it much harder (either having to leave the workforce or outsource a ton of childcare) and b) men who sneer at having to compete with “a mom” in the workplace.
Many dads I know have far more flexibility than moms. My husband did till recently.
Yep. When my male co-worker leaves to be with his kids, he's a hero who is not afraid to live his values. When I do it, I'm not sufficiently dedicated to work.
Anonymous
12/09/2024 22:26
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.
The nanny was probably with them.
So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ?
Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids.
+100
I made a similar point earlier on in this thread. This whole thing is rooted in misogyny.
For whatever reason people are angry at the thought of a mom being able to balance a full time job and have the flexibility to get your kids from the bus after school or pop out to a school event mid-day.
If a dad does this type of thing he’s basically celebrated. But I think there’s a) a lot of women out there who had it much harder (either having to leave the workforce or outsource a ton of childcare) and b) men who sneer at having to compete with “a mom” in the workplace.
Many dads I know have far more flexibility than moms. My husband did till recently.
So so true. My husband is a senior executive in top 50 corp. He’s held various political and non political jobs in the defense world of government. I have been a career government employee in highly competitive offices with lots of opportunities to move to the private sector. I haven’t because—despite my low pay—my husband has a TON of flexibility that I do not have and is rewarded for “helping” with his kids. FWIW, he’s hired a ton of women and given them lots of responsibility and doesn’t care where or when they work, as long as they get the job done.
I love love government service/-have wanted to do it since I was a kid-/and his salary and flexibility enable that. But man, thinking that I am entitled and lazy (like they said in the Bush Administration) or stonewalling policy and goofing off all day like they’re saying now? I worked all through the holiday and pulled an all nighter last weekend in an effort to make more than ten million for the American public. What’d you do for America last week?
Anonymous
12/09/2024 22:12
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.
The nanny was probably with them.
So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ?
Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids.
+100
I made a similar point earlier on in this thread. This whole thing is rooted in misogyny.
For whatever reason people are angry at the thought of a mom being able to balance a full time job and have the flexibility to get your kids from the bus after school or pop out to a school event mid-day.
If a dad does this type of thing he’s basically celebrated. But I think there’s a) a lot of women out there who had it much harder (either having to leave the workforce or outsource a ton of childcare) and b) men who sneer at having to compete with “a mom” in the workplace.
Many dads I know have far more flexibility than moms. My husband did till recently.
Anonymous
12/07/2024 08:10
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.
The nanny was probably with them.
So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ?
Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids.
+100
I made a similar point earlier on in this thread. This whole thing is rooted in misogyny.
For whatever reason people are angry at the thought of a mom being able to balance a full time job and have the flexibility to get your kids from the bus after school or pop out to a school event mid-day.
If a dad does this type of thing he’s basically celebrated. But I think there’s a) a lot of women out there who had it much harder (either having to leave the workforce or outsource a ton of childcare) and b) men who sneer at having to compete with “a mom” in the workplace.
Anonymous
12/07/2024 08:05
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This thread is 28 pages, and AFAICT not a single pro-RTO person has explained why it is better or necessary to have people commute to an office 5d/week where they will be on virtual calls at least half the time.
I don't know anyone who has no childcare and WFH. That's a strawman. But if you WFH, it's much easier to find and afford childcare since you don't have to account for commuting time.
This is the issue. FT RTO is being proposed solely to punish federal workers, for no other reason. And if you think that private sector employers won't see that they can also use this tactic with impunity (rather than layoffs with severance), you are an idiot.
Because you aren’t due an explanation. It’s happening. Get ready.
Yeah. All the "but, but, but, but WHHHYYYYY?" people are driving me nuts. Why? Because it's happening that's why. Can we please focus on the reality already? It's time. I'm a Democrat, I voted for Harris, and I'm going back to the office whether I like it or not. Start communicating with your leadership ways in which you could participate to make this work for your agency and for your family. Nothing will be gained here by digging in and throwing a tantrum over why.
No way. This is America. I’m not going to just go along with something like this because “it’s happening that’s why.”
RTO is pointless, bad for the environment and families and even bad for business.
Ok, so quit. Which is exactly what they want you to do.
I’m not quitting. I won’t meet the requirement like many other employees. This is all a game and easily won.
Then you will eventually be fired or let go and your reputation down the drain.
People do back channel references all the time and information like this comes out and will hurt your reputation. Even without a back channel reference people talk.
Anonymous
12/07/2024 07:02
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.
The nanny was probably with them.
So you assume he has childcare even though no one's seen it. But you assume thousands of federal employees don't have childcare because... ?
Hint: it's because they're women. No one in this lengthy thread assumes dad is WFH without childcare, or that a SAHD is watching kids.
Anonymous
12/06/2024 08:14
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:He’s weirdly obsessed with just that one kid.
It’s the “X”. He’s been obsessed with that letter since x.com days..
Anonymous
12/06/2024 08:12
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
He’s weirdly obsessed with just that one kid.
Anonymous
12/06/2024 08:11
Subject: RTO and No Childcare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ironic that Musk brought Little X with him to the Senate today.
The nanny was probably with them.
If I brought my toddler and nanny to work, there would be hell to pay.