Anonymous
Post 02/19/2019 00:39     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There's a subset of "room moms" who are very aggressive about taking over and some of them are silly about showy party favors, teacher gifts, etc.

I contribute to the fund but I admit to resenting these aggressive "show" moms.


One of our room moms insists on collecting money and donations and ends up keeping the money for herself. I will no longer work with her and I will never ever give her cash since there is no accountability.


You sound like one of those people who refuse to donate to charities because “all charities steal” when in reality you are just cheap. Our school requires a strict accounting of what is received and spent. Our room parents typically spend $ out of their pocket to make all the events happen.


I have heavily paid for several parties because of this. Far from cheap. I spend hundreds between supplies and parties and that doesn't include gifts. I do far more than my share. Some room parents like me spend a lot of money out of pocket, some spend none and just rely on donations and others, well, we cannot account for the money. There is no accounting at our school.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2019 00:28     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There's a subset of "room moms" who are very aggressive about taking over and some of them are silly about showy party favors, teacher gifts, etc.

I contribute to the fund but I admit to resenting these aggressive "show" moms.


One of our room moms insists on collecting money and donations and ends up keeping the money for herself. I will no longer work with her and I will never ever give her cash since there is no accountability.


You sound like one of those people who refuse to donate to charities because “all charities steal” when in reality you are just cheap. Our school requires a strict accounting of what is received and spent. Our room parents typically spend $ out of their pocket to make all the events happen.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 23:16     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:There's a subset of "room moms" who are very aggressive about taking over and some of them are silly about showy party favors, teacher gifts, etc.

I contribute to the fund but I admit to resenting these aggressive "show" moms.


One of our room moms insists on collecting money and donations and ends up keeping the money for herself. I will no longer work with her and I will never ever give her cash since there is no accountability.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 23:14     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
You see it as a demand. I see it as a way to appreciate people who positively affect my family’s life: tutor, leader of book club, teacher, dentist if we go that month, close neighbors, all get something. What’s the “a lot” you’re donating to the classroom? Supplies for the kids - like napkins for parties - or gifts for a teacher to thank her?



+1

We have donated homemade dishes for staff appreciation events when money was tight at home. I have volunteered to cut, sort, copy, assemble stuff for teachers at home so that they can prep for future lessons and I have donated whenever I could afford to give, Thankfully, we are now blessed to be able to afford to give $5 -$10 dollars every semester without any problem.

As a room parent, I create an excel spreadsheet with all the parents names and amount contributed and put it on a shared google drive. I update as needed. I keep sending the link to parents in a group message, and I have set a limit of $20 for the entire year. I do not accept more than that because it pays easily for classroom supplies and one or two ice cream party in the middle and end of the school year. People can see who has contributed etc, and that is an effective way to have everyone contribute in a timely manner. I have parent who will contribute on behalf of other families too when they see that these families have not contributed even after several reminders.




Well that is embarrassing for families who need the "charity" of other families.


Welcome to the real world.

Some people are selfish and some generous. Some have money and some need the charity of others. I am not in the business of making the world fair for everyone.

I have only taken the volunteer task of making sure that the classroom has supplies, books and one or two ice-cream social that coincides with the culmination of a big class project etc. My attempt was to do it in the most equitable way by keeping costs down ($20 is affordable for our class demographics), being transparent (the shared google drive), having accountability (excel spreadsheet) and good communication without it sucking up all my time. It has helped to set a precedence for the next room parent and has set expectations about what to expect in terms of communication for the entire class. I am grateful to the parents who want to give more and have covered for other parents.


If the classroom needs supplies or books, you ask for donations of such as well as party stuff. Demanding $20 per family and harassing them until you get it is not ok.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 23:06     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??




+1

We have donated homemade dishes for staff appreciation events when money was tight at home. I have volunteered to cut, sort, copy, assemble stuff for teachers at home so that they can prep for future lessons and I have donated whenever I could afford to give, Thankfully, we are now blessed to be able to afford to give $5 -$10 dollars every semester without any problem.

As a room parent, I create an excel spreadsheet with all the parents names and amount contributed and put it on a shared google drive. I update as needed. I keep sending the link to parents in a group message, and I have set a limit of $20 for the entire year. I do not accept more than that because it pays easily for classroom supplies and one or two ice cream party in the middle and end of the school year. People can see who has contributed etc, and that is an effective way to have everyone contribute in a timely manner. I have parent who will contribute on behalf of other families too when they see that these families have not contributed even after several reminders.




Well that is embarrassing for families who need the "charity" of other families.


Welcome to the real world.

Some people are selfish and some generous. Some have money and some need the charity of others. I am not in the business of making the world fair for everyone.

I have only taken the volunteer task of making sure that the classroom has supplies, books and one or two ice-cream social that coincides with the culmination of a big class project etc. My attempt was to do it in the most equitable way by keeping costs down ($20 is affordable for our class demographics), being transparent (the shared google drive), having accountability (excel spreadsheet) and good communication without it sucking up all my time. It has helped to set a precedence for the next room parent and has set expectations about what to expect in terms of communication for the entire class. I am grateful to the parents who want to give more and have covered for other parents.


I've been a room parent several times. I never made public which families paid and which didn't or which couldn't pay the entire requested amount. Even in an upper class neighborhood, $20 may be significant to someone (lost job, unexpected medical expenses etc. Etc.)

I was sometimes surprised by the families who didn't pay the full amount but then I often found out later they had a significant medical event going on. It isn't the business of the whole class unless they want to make it such. A firm but kind bcc reminder email once or twice always got the results I was looking for.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 23:03     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

My husband and I have never gotten bonuses. We don't have cleaning people, our trash collectors are county paid, etc. You can show reasonable appreciation but the demand is greedy. I donate a lot to the classroom.


You see it as a demand. I see it as a way to appreciate people who positively affect my family’s life: tutor, leader of book club, teacher, dentist if we go that month, close neighbors, all get something. What’s the “a lot” you’re donating to the classroom? Supplies for the kids - like napkins for parties - or gifts for a teacher to thank her?


Many people do their jobs and get paid without having elaborate displays of appreciation. It's no longer showing real appreciation when it's expected or mandatory.

I see a ton of people around me in society positively affecting the community around me. Most of them aren't constantly needing gifts to feel appreciated. That being said, many of us give our own gifts to the teachers. I've given each teacher and several specials teachers gift cards for X-mas. I spend well over the $40 that a PP was seeking per parent. But I contribute because I want to do so - not because someone else is on a power trip and making demands. I also think that X-mas gifts, birthday gifts, end-of-year gifts, teacher appreciation week (and in some places, that's something every day of the week), etc. is ridiculous.


Blah blah blah. Same song, different verse. A little bit louder and a little bit worse.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 22:55     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

My husband and I have never gotten bonuses. We don't have cleaning people, our trash collectors are county paid, etc. You can show reasonable appreciation but the demand is greedy. I donate a lot to the classroom.


You see it as a demand. I see it as a way to appreciate people who positively affect my family’s life: tutor, leader of book club, teacher, dentist if we go that month, close neighbors, all get something. What’s the “a lot” you’re donating to the classroom? Supplies for the kids - like napkins for parties - or gifts for a teacher to thank her?


Many people do their jobs and get paid without having elaborate displays of appreciation. It's no longer showing real appreciation when it's expected or mandatory.

I see a ton of people around me in society positively affecting the community around me. Most of them aren't constantly needing gifts to feel appreciated. That being said, many of us give our own gifts to the teachers. I've given each teacher and several specials teachers gift cards for X-mas. I spend well over the $40 that a PP was seeking per parent. But I contribute because I want to do so - not because someone else is on a power trip and making demands. I also think that X-mas gifts, birthday gifts, end-of-year gifts, teacher appreciation week (and in some places, that's something every day of the week), etc. is ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 22:48     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
My attempt was to do it in the most equitable way by keeping costs down ($20 is affordable for our class demographics), being transparent (the shared google drive), having accountability (excel spreadsheet) and good communication without it sucking up all my time. It has helped to set a precedence for the next room parent and has set expectations about what to expect in terms of communication for the entire class. I am grateful to the parents who want to give more and have covered for other parents.


You are an absolutely terrible person, and I hope the school never allows you to have the opportunity to publicly humiliate other parents like this. How dare you assume that you know why people are too busy to deal with your demands for money or why they might not be able to afford it. Case in point: I was blindsided last spring by a cancer diagnosis, treatment, and medical bills. I didn't feel inclined to share all of that with everyone in my kids' classes, since it's my private info, and on paper, I would have looked like someone who could afford your "mandatory" contribution. Many people have major, horrible things going on in their lives that consume all of their mental bandwidth, and they just can't keep up with every petty demand from the school. I guess in your view, it would be okay to try to publicly shame people like me about being a non-payer.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 22:43     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
If men ran this, none of this would be an issue. I read the thread to dh and he couldn’t believe this thread.

He also thinks school supplies are folders and pencils, not toilet paper and reams of copy paper, so he’s obviously old school.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 22:38     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher's aide in elementary. I hate those stupid parties. I do enjoy getting the occasional gift card. I particularly like when the kids write me a note. I appreciate what the room parents do but also understand some parents can't afford it or aren't on top of things.

Where does the party food come from? Really? Chances are those who aren't participating also aren't reading DCUM. Also, I can't believe this non-issue has generated 570+ comments.


Don’t you get that some people on here don’t want you to have gift cards? The parties you hate? They WANT their funds to either go towards those parties (my funds= must directly benefit my kid). Others don’t want you to have gift cards from the class or their kids to have parties. Hard to believe, isn’t it? This is what the parents really think of you guys.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 22:26     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
You see it as a demand. I see it as a way to appreciate people who positively affect my family’s life: tutor, leader of book club, teacher, dentist if we go that month, close neighbors, all get something. What’s the “a lot” you’re donating to the classroom? Supplies for the kids - like napkins for parties - or gifts for a teacher to thank her?



+1

We have donated homemade dishes for staff appreciation events when money was tight at home. I have volunteered to cut, sort, copy, assemble stuff for teachers at home so that they can prep for future lessons and I have donated whenever I could afford to give, Thankfully, we are now blessed to be able to afford to give $5 -$10 dollars every semester without any problem.

As a room parent, I create an excel spreadsheet with all the parents names and amount contributed and put it on a shared google drive. I update as needed. I keep sending the link to parents in a group message, and I have set a limit of $20 for the entire year. I do not accept more than that because it pays easily for classroom supplies and one or two ice cream party in the middle and end of the school year. People can see who has contributed etc, and that is an effective way to have everyone contribute in a timely manner. I have parent who will contribute on behalf of other families too when they see that these families have not contributed even after several reminders.




Well that is embarrassing for families who need the "charity" of other families.


Welcome to the real world.

Some people are selfish and some generous. Some have money and some need the charity of others. I am not in the business of making the world fair for everyone.

I have only taken the volunteer task of making sure that the classroom has supplies, books and one or two ice-cream social that coincides with the culmination of a big class project etc. My attempt was to do it in the most equitable way by keeping costs down ($20 is affordable for our class demographics), being transparent (the shared google drive), having accountability (excel spreadsheet) and good communication without it sucking up all my time. It has helped to set a precedence for the next room parent and has set expectations about what to expect in terms of communication for the entire class. I am grateful to the parents who want to give more and have covered for other parents.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 22:12     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
You see it as a demand. I see it as a way to appreciate people who positively affect my family’s life: tutor, leader of book club, teacher, dentist if we go that month, close neighbors, all get something. What’s the “a lot” you’re donating to the classroom? Supplies for the kids - like napkins for parties - or gifts for a teacher to thank her?



+1

We have donated homemade dishes for staff appreciation events when money was tight at home. I have volunteered to cut, sort, copy, assemble stuff for teachers at home so that they can prep for future lessons and I have donated whenever I could afford to give, Thankfully, we are now blessed to be able to afford to give $5 -$10 dollars every semester without any problem.

As a room parent, I create an excel spreadsheet with all the parents names and amount contributed and put it on a shared google drive. I update as needed. I keep sending the link to parents in a group message, and I have set a limit of $20 for the entire year. I do not accept more than that because it pays easily for classroom supplies and one or two ice cream party in the middle and end of the school year. People can see who has contributed etc, and that is an effective way to have everyone contribute in a timely manner. I have parent who will contribute on behalf of other families too when they see that these families have not contributed even after several reminders.




Well that is embarrassing for families who need the "charity" of other families.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 22:08     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
There's a subset of "room moms" who are very aggressive about taking over and some of them are silly about showy party favors, teacher gifts, etc.

I contribute to the fund but I admit to resenting these aggressive "show" moms.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 22:03     Subject: Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
I am a teacher's aide in elementary. I hate those stupid parties. I do enjoy getting the occasional gift card. I particularly like when the kids write me a note. I appreciate what the room parents do but also understand some parents can't afford it or aren't on top of things.

Where does the party food come from? Really? Chances are those who aren't participating also aren't reading DCUM. Also, I can't believe this non-issue has generated 570+ comments.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2019 21:48     Subject: Re:Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??
Anonymous wrote:
You see it as a demand. I see it as a way to appreciate people who positively affect my family’s life: tutor, leader of book club, teacher, dentist if we go that month, close neighbors, all get something. What’s the “a lot” you’re donating to the classroom? Supplies for the kids - like napkins for parties - or gifts for a teacher to thank her?



+1

We have donated homemade dishes for staff appreciation events when money was tight at home. I have volunteered to cut, sort, copy, assemble stuff for teachers at home so that they can prep for future lessons and I have donated whenever I could afford to give, Thankfully, we are now blessed to be able to afford to give $5 -$10 dollars every semester without any problem.

As a room parent, I create an excel spreadsheet with all the parents names and amount contributed and put it on a shared google drive. I update as needed. I keep sending the link to parents in a group message, and I have set a limit of $20 for the entire year. I do not accept more than that because it pays easily for classroom supplies and one or two ice cream party in the middle and end of the school year. People can see who has contributed etc, and that is an effective way to have everyone contribute in a timely manner. I have parent who will contribute on behalf of other families too when they see that these families have not contributed even after several reminders.