Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS got into a "high target" and was deferred and waitlisted from his dream school.

I was surprised at how quickly he embraced the school that accepted him immediately and now believes, that even if he got off the waitlist for the dream school, he would say "no."

The deferral, waitlist process was also an unpleasant surprise. DS was rejected from UNC outright, and he said he preferred that- he was stung but was able to quickly move on.

I agree. I hate that these schools are stringing our kids along like it’s a game. Just reject them so they can move on. I’ve told my kid to love the school that loves them. Chasing “prestige” is stupid. How schools treat kids during the application process is a good indicator of how they will treat their students. If they make you jump through hoops and beg for acceptance, you don’t want that.

Anonymous wrote:DS got into a "high target" and was deferred and waitlisted from his dream school.

I was surprised at how quickly he embraced the school that accepted him immediately and now believes, that even if he got off the waitlist for the dream school, he would say "no."

The deferral, waitlist process was also an unpleasant surprise. DS was rejected from UNC outright, and he said he preferred that- he was stung but was able to quickly move on.

Anonymous wrote:What has surprised you - that you were clueless about?

Anonymous wrote:What has surprised you - that you were clueless about?

Anonymous wrote:Surprised by how many people we personally know getting off T25 waitlists.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now that we’re done, I’m surprised by how personally I’m taking this (awful, terrible, no good) process. My really great kid got rejected from every reach (that are reaches for everyone - he really and truly had the lottery ticket for all of them). I’m mad at myself for not grooming him more and getting him (or getting him to do) all the fake crap that other kids seem to do to for the sole purpose of getting into college. I’m mad that AOs don’t see through the bullshit and keep falling for it. and my feelings aren’t just for my kid, really. I’m sad for all the sincere, genuine kids who are KIDS and do the stuff that needs to be done because it needs to be done (student council, school clubs, tutoring, working real jobs) and get hosed.

I have a lot of sympathy for you (and wonder if I'll feel this way next year: I have a junior). It's tough. At the same time, dh and I are trying hard to keep reiterating to our kid that it truly doesn't matter where you go. My evidence for this is that we both went to Ivies and our lives are normal. We make less than most people. Neither of us had an amazing college experience, and neither of us have worked in fields where it matters where we went. The most successful kids from my high school class went to less selective undergrad schools and did exceptionally well. In the end it is about what you do, not where you go.

I could have written the above post but substitute in “WASP” for Ivy and the only thing different is that I did have an amazing college experience. You’re absolutely right- if the college experience is amazing and transformative, that’s great and one can get that at hundreds of places.

Anonymous wrote:Now that we’re done, I’m surprised by how personally I’m taking this (awful, terrible, no good) process. My really great kid got rejected from every reach (that are reaches for everyone - he really and truly had the lottery ticket for all of them). I’m mad at myself for not grooming him more and getting him (or getting him to do) all the fake crap that other kids seem to do to for the sole purpose of getting into college. I’m mad that AOs don’t see through the bullshit and keep falling for it. and my feelings aren’t just for my kid, really. I’m sad for all the sincere, genuine kids who are KIDS and do the stuff that needs to be done because it needs to be done (student council, school clubs, tutoring, working real jobs) and get hosed.

Anonymous wrote:My advice is be wary of advice from dcum. It seems to have a lot of people (or at least a couple frequent posters) who don’t know very much about higher education and are obsessed with fine degrees of ranking difference that have no meaning in hiring decisions or grad school admissions. Unless your kid is is looking for IB or other very niche careers where being at a target school really matters, find schools you can afford, that are strong in what your kid wants to study (with room for change), and that seem to have an atmosphere where they can thrive. And make sure at least 2, maybe 3, on your list are schools they are almost assured to get accepted to. There are many great schools in the U.S. with many great outcomes. I just hired a 30 year old with two degrees from Duke to be my admin assistant’s assistant. Schools are not golden tickets. Kids who are bright and work hard will do well. My kids go to private colleges because they were good fits and we can afford them. But they would thrive at our state flagship too and I would be very proud of them to attend many kinds of schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘24. The role of hooks, narratives, and packaging.

This really resonated with me.
It's all about sales in the end. All those endless flyers and emails from various schools. Even College Board is more about selling (your data) than about testing ('adaptive' computerized test - how is that a standardized test?).
I can't tell you how many mailers we got from U Chicago hoping my kid would apply just so they can up their application numbers and decrease their yield.
All these organizations are trying to sell.
It's no surprise that the student has to do some hard selling too.

I didn't know where to put this comment, so resurrecting this thread.
Parent of '25 here who did quite well this year (many T20 admits etc.). I had followed a lot of advice on this board, including from this thread and this one: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1235389.page

But, helping a friend's kid with WL LOCI last week, and saw the kid's (#1 in class, so many national awards, athlete, major school leadership, passion project) application for a bunch of Ivies and T10. Kid was dinged or WL everywhere. Parents were shocked. But they shouldn't have been. It was a scattered application with no story, no narrative, no "tagline" or application persona. It seemed like random accomplishments and interests thrown together, and a major that didn't quite seem connected to much in the application.

I explained that the kid didn't "package" themself and came across as too well-rounded. Like there was no thread between everything. It's quite sad, to be honest, when people don't realize the rules of the game. They thought the stats would carry the day (valedictorian, 35 and 1580).....It doesn't matter.

You don't need a counselor to package your kid (we didn't have one). You just need to learn a little (from this place, and podcasts or books, or webinars) and then be involved in reviewing your kid's applications.

And that is why a decent College counselor is worth every penny, if you can afford it. I'm talking one you pay $4-5K for the entire HS experience. They help you "take the right courses" in HS, if you as a parent don't understand that. They help your kid say "not drop orchestra or Theater their junior or senior year if it's something they've been doing for 10+ years. Unless the kid absolutely hates it. they help your kid find volunteering experiences that are more meaningful than just "volunteering"---find something you are passionate about for ECs and volunteering. And most importantly, they help your kid brainstorm essay topics, they don't write them, but they help you make yourself the most interesting person they can.
IMO, if you are paying $200K+ for 4 years of college, it's worth it to spend a bit to get that help navigating the application process.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘24. The role of hooks, narratives, and packaging.

This really resonated with me.
It's all about sales in the end. All those endless flyers and emails from various schools. Even College Board is more about selling (your data) than about testing ('adaptive' computerized test - how is that a standardized test?).
I can't tell you how many mailers we got from U Chicago hoping my kid would apply just so they can up their application numbers and decrease their yield.
All these organizations are trying to sell.
It's no surprise that the student has to do some hard selling too.

I didn't know where to put this comment, so resurrecting this thread.
Parent of '25 here who did quite well this year (many T20 admits etc.). I had followed a lot of advice on this board, including from this thread and this one: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1235389.page

But, helping a friend's kid with WL LOCI last week, and saw the kid's (#1 in class, so many national awards, athlete, major school leadership, passion project) application for a bunch of Ivies and T10. Kid was dinged or WL everywhere. Parents were shocked. But they shouldn't have been. It was a scattered application with no story, no narrative, no "tagline" or application persona. It seemed like random accomplishments and interests thrown together, and a major that didn't quite seem connected to much in the application.

I explained that the kid didn't "package" themself and came across as too well-rounded. Like there was no thread between everything. It's quite sad, to be honest, when people don't realize the rules of the game. They thought the stats would carry the day (valedictorian, 35 and 1580).....It doesn't matter.

You don't need a counselor to package your kid (we didn't have one). You just need to learn a little (from this place, and podcasts or books, or webinars) and then be involved in reviewing your kid's applications.