shan1212
10/12/2021 08:57
Subject: Re:Bad Art Friend
Anonymous wrote:
An ironic end would be Sonya Larson, depressed and desperate for penance and public rehabilitation ... decides to donate a kidney!
Hahahahaha.
That may be the only thing she could do to right this ship at this point! I would laugh, but I would also clap for the person getting their new kidney!
Anonymous
10/12/2021 08:55
Subject: Re:Bad Art Friend
shan1212 wrote:I'm really not about anybody being "cancelled" -- I think their just desserts are having their actions exposed. I do think they've caused harm to the disabled community with their dismissal of life-saving organ donation, and they should work hard to remedy that.
One thing that really drew me to this story was how I relate to Dawn's trying to repair her fractured relationship with Sonya. I once had a situation where I was obviously the aggrieved party, where a stranger really did me dirty, but most people would have advised not to contact the person who hurt me so as not to "give her any power." But to me, asking for a small, concrete act by this person to help put things right really meant a lot to me, and they were grateful for the chance to do so. If they weren't willing, or were too buried in shame, I would have had to accept that. It's not getting away with it just because you don't lose every single thing in your life over your bad choice. You have to wrestle with that and find a way to look yourself in the mirror again.
I would not be surprised if these has been some of the hardest days of Sonya Larson's life. She was so deeply invested in the narrative of her being the aggrieved party, and she leaned on friends to bolster that POV whenever she felt it slipping. Now the rug has been pulled and they've all been exposed. She's branded a bully and a plagiarist, and her safe space of her BFF writing group is falling apart. I'm not saying she's the victim, but it's possible (and I think important for my humanity) to keep the humanity of people in mind at all times. That's something Dawn continued to do even she was gaslit and bullied, and that's why there's so much sympathy for her. She never fought fire with fire.
An ironic end would be Sonya Larson, depressed and desperate for penance and public rehabilitation ... decides to donate a kidney!
Hahahahaha.
shan1212
10/12/2021 08:41
Subject: Re:Bad Art Friend
I'm really not about anybody being "cancelled" -- I think their just desserts are having their actions exposed. I do think they've caused harm to the disabled community with their dismissal of life-saving organ donation, and they should work hard to remedy that.
One thing that really drew me to this story was how I relate to Dawn's trying to repair her fractured relationship with Sonya. I once had a situation where I was obviously the aggrieved party, where a stranger really did me dirty, but most people would have advised not to contact the person who hurt me so as not to "give her any power." But to me, asking for a small, concrete act by this person to help put things right really meant a lot to me, and they were grateful for the chance to do so. If they weren't willing, or were too buried in shame, I would have had to accept that. It's not getting away with it just because you don't lose every single thing in your life over your bad choice. You have to wrestle with that and find a way to look yourself in the mirror again.
I would not be surprised if these has been some of the hardest days of Sonya Larson's life. She was so deeply invested in the narrative of her being the aggrieved party, and she leaned on friends to bolster that POV whenever she felt it slipping. Now the rug has been pulled and they've all been exposed. She's branded a bully and a plagiarist, and her safe space of her BFF writing group is falling apart. I'm not saying she's the victim, but it's possible (and I think important for my humanity) to keep the humanity of people in mind at all times. That's something Dawn continued to do even she was gaslit and bullied, and that's why there's so much sympathy for her. She never fought fire with fire.
One thing that really drew me to this story was how I relate to Dawn's trying to repair her fractured relationship with Sonya. I once had a situation where I was obviously the aggrieved party, where a stranger really did me dirty, but most people would have advised not to contact the person who hurt me so as not to "give her any power." But to me, asking for a small, concrete act by this person to help put things right really meant a lot to me, and they were grateful for the chance to do so. If they weren't willing, or were too buried in shame, I would have had to accept that. It's not getting away with it just because you don't lose every single thing in your life over your bad choice. You have to wrestle with that and find a way to look yourself in the mirror again.
I would not be surprised if these has been some of the hardest days of Sonya Larson's life. She was so deeply invested in the narrative of her being the aggrieved party, and she leaned on friends to bolster that POV whenever she felt it slipping. Now the rug has been pulled and they've all been exposed. She's branded a bully and a plagiarist, and her safe space of her BFF writing group is falling apart. I'm not saying she's the victim, but it's possible (and I think important for my humanity) to keep the humanity of people in mind at all times. That's something Dawn continued to do even she was gaslit and bullied, and that's why there's so much sympathy for her. She never fought fire with fire.
Anonymous
10/12/2021 08:34
Subject: Re:Bad Art Friend
I find it unfortunate that so many writers are trying to inject themselves into the story with their Tweets, then their reactions to Tweets. Get a life, people.
Anonymous
10/12/2021 08:28
Subject: Bad Art Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's still on Twitter quite a bit, but the main blue checks have mostly gone silent or made their accounts private, and they are waiting it out until they can pretend they didn't do what they did. Celeste Ng is tweeting endlessly about Afghan refugees.
Nothing will happen.
I would like all these associated names to end up on DNR lists, for there to be some boycott movement, for people in the industries that they schmooze in to at least be aware of this. That's the only language that these people understand and will respect.
I don't want this but I do want this crowd to be legit-scared of being on the business end of cancel culture. I want them to find some humility and get that no one should be judged solely on their worst moments. But, that said, if they stand by their actions -- as so far they have -- I have no sympathy, and plenty of other books to read.
I also think we need to rethink where we choose to apply the concept of solidarity.
A lot of people had solidarity with Larson initially because she was a WOC.
But the more you learn about this situation, the more you see that it is Dorland who is the outsider, who is marked by prejudice is relatable ways, whose actions were transparently driven by a desire to belong and connect to others.
Larson and her friends were the oppressive force here, no question.
I think we need to evolve our understanding of power from the de facto assumption that it is only ever abused by white men. It’s not.
Anonymous
10/12/2021 08:14
Subject: Bad Art Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's still on Twitter quite a bit, but the main blue checks have mostly gone silent or made their accounts private, and they are waiting it out until they can pretend they didn't do what they did. Celeste Ng is tweeting endlessly about Afghan refugees.
Nothing will happen.
I would like all these associated names to end up on DNR lists, for there to be some boycott movement, for people in the industries that they schmooze in to at least be aware of this. That's the only language that these people understand and will respect.
I don't want this but I do want this crowd to be legit-scared of being on the business end of cancel culture. I want them to find some humility and get that no one should be judged solely on their worst moments. But, that said, if they stand by their actions -- as so far they have -- I have no sympathy, and plenty of other books to read.
Anonymous
10/12/2021 07:13
Subject: Re:Bad Art Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I found this Tumblr really interesting, sorry if it was posted before.
https://tienriu.tumblr.com/post/664620642675671040/i-am-so-awake-it-hurts-and-its-been-a-week-of
Holy mother — did Roxane Gay really just suggest that Dawn FAKED her kidney donation for attention?
What is wrong with that woman???
That is awful. Really awful.
I’ve already touched on this, but it really is. I’m so shocked at her amorality. Roxane Gay has a huge public platform and has repeatedly maligned non-public figures on Twitter because it’s a day ending in y. I’m phucking sick of it and of the lack of consequences to her and her ilk.
Roxane Gay writes for NYTimes. Over the last couple of years they let go a few people because they do not reflect the newspaper's values. Yet they don't seem to notice the egregiously non-ethical behavior from her.
shan1212
10/12/2021 06:49
Subject: Bad Art Friend
Anonymous wrote:Photolaw at aol.com? You can't make this up.
OMG, I hadn't caught that! SMH!
Where do you access the court docs?
Anonymous
Anonymous
10/12/2021 01:22
Subject: Re:Bad Art Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I found this Tumblr really interesting, sorry if it was posted before.
https://tienriu.tumblr.com/post/664620642675671040/i-am-so-awake-it-hurts-and-its-been-a-week-of
Holy mother — did Roxane Gay really just suggest that Dawn FAKED her kidney donation for attention?
What is wrong with that woman???
That is awful. Really awful.
I’ve already touched on this, but it really is. I’m so shocked at her amorality. Roxane Gay has a huge public platform and has repeatedly maligned non-public figures on Twitter because it’s a day ending in y. I’m phucking sick of it and of the lack of consequences to her and her ilk.
She’s vulgar trash. Always has been.
I think Roxane Gay is totally wrong here, and has behaved badly, but nobody should ever be referred to as vulgar trash. That is a terrible thing to say.
Anonymous
10/12/2021 00:36
Subject: Re:Bad Art Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
It seems like Dawn has begun slowly emerging from her shell on Twitter. And of course one of her first tweets is to forgive someone who shit talked her on the platform. I don't know if she'll be making any more responses, but... damn.
I hope she feels vindicated. I hope she feels some of the well of support that has been drawn up around her in some corners of the internet. I don't know why I feel so personally about this, ugh. Maybe I need to step away.
Why is that exchange making me feel so gd weepy
Somehow this is the perfect way for Dawn to have returned to Twitter. Perfect, and poignant.
Anonymous
10/12/2021 00:15
Subject: Bad Art Friend
These Chunky Monkey folks are so disingenuous it's revolting. Barf. And since they've modeled such great behavior for us, I have zero qualms about calling them every name under the sun, because as Celeste Ng so graciously reminded us 3,927 times, "You totally should! You have every right! Everyone does it!"
Anonymous
10/12/2021 00:06
Subject: Bad Art Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tangential, but I find Helen Rosner’s reaction to this odd. I know Helen from a college activity and Helen played more of the Dawn role there. It was a competitive oddly hierarchical activity where competitive success created social cache, but obviously lots of other factors played into one’s social standing as well; probably not unlike these writer’s cliques. Anyway, Helen wasn’t as competitively successful as she probably would have liked, wasn’t at an “in” school, wasn’t conventionally attractive and could be sort off putting (sometimes seemingly intentionally so, but then she also seemed to care what people thought and I later heard that she, in fact, had been somewhat hurt by it all). I actually felt kind of bad about it at the time, but didn’t know her that well and was sort of in a weird position vis a vis her for reasons that aren’t super relevant.
Anyway, she moved to NYC at graduation and some of the Sonyas, who moved at the same time, became really good friends of hers, because it turned out that outside of the weird strictures of the activity, they really liked her. They also totally did right by her with respect to friends who still thought of her as a Dawn; always invited her to things, explained to everyone visiting NYC that they were good friends now, etc. I never moved to NYC so that group has never been or become my main friend set and I’ve never gotten to know her really well, but we see each other occasionally, have vacationed together with mutual friends, etc and we have a few close mutual friends in common even now (almost 20 years post college).
By all accounts, she’s great. She’s obviously become quite successful and I, personally, think she’s a fabulous writer. But, she’s still a little bit Dawn when I think of her — because that’s how I first knew her — and even though that’s very much not who she is now, I’m surprised she has so little empathy for actual Dawn. I wonder if her own version of events is totally different or if not empathizing is some sort of defense mechanism.
We often most harshly reject people who remind us of the parts of ourselves we don’t like or feel the worst about.
I would bet many of the Chunky Monkeys also see themselves as misfits and outcasts, and that’s part of what fed their dislike of Dorland.
Certainly seems true of the Chip Cheek guy. As noted above, his desperate need to share his anecdote about how he ran into Dorland at a parent/kid class and was terrified she was stalking him (when he’d just moved to her neighborhood in LA) reeks of this need to get approval from the cool kids. And she had the audacity to be her usual charming, sunny self and offer advice and connections he admits they dearly needed to boot! The Calvin Hennick guy was also interesting. It was clear to me from some of the group texts that he knew what Larson was doing was absolutely wrong (“assy”) and hurtful to Dorland, but he simply had to rationalize it for the sake of the group dynamic (circle-jerk).
Anonymous
10/11/2021 23:44
Subject: Re:Bad Art Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I found this Tumblr really interesting, sorry if it was posted before.
https://tienriu.tumblr.com/post/664620642675671040/i-am-so-awake-it-hurts-and-its-been-a-week-of
Holy mother — did Roxane Gay really just suggest that Dawn FAKED her kidney donation for attention?
What is wrong with that woman???
That is awful. Really awful.
I’ve already touched on this, but it really is. I’m so shocked at her amorality. Roxane Gay has a huge public platform and has repeatedly maligned non-public figures on Twitter because it’s a day ending in y. I’m phucking sick of it and of the lack of consequences to her and her ilk.
She’s vulgar trash. Always has been.