Call me crazy, but people have inflated opinions of their weddings. I have a good marriage, but both my spouse and I agree that we spent too much on the wedding and if we did it again, we would have a small, casual and cheap party. No need to force a nephew to attend. I also think that aunts without kids tend to overestimate their importance in a nephew's/nieces's life.

Sorry OP. It sucks but as the mature one i would let the nephew go to his tournament with no drama or resentment. It would damage the relationship you do have with him.

I thought it was OP coming back to say that nephew made the Olympic team and she was so glad he skipped her wedding two years ago as she is divorced now anyway.

Depends on the sporting event.

Championship where the kid is a key player? I would choose sports I'd DC wants.

Senior year i made the choice to skip a game that was very important to my teammates. They lost, in part because I didn't have a real backup. I still regret it.

Anonymous wrote:She's right and I would do the same thing.
He can't miss the tournament. And a 14 year old boy doesn't really need to be at a wedding

^ THIS. Enjoy your wedding. Why do you need a 14 yr old there? He'll probably be bored to death tournament or not. Your sister is still coming right? I see no issues.

So, what is the magical age when kids stop not being invited to weddings, and instead it is very offensive that they aren't there?

It seems like right around the time that it wouldn't be a big deal to find them somewhere to go for the weekend. Sigh...that is really fucking annoying.

High School team sports are meaningless in the whole scheme of life. Just a hobby. are interchangeable. lead to nothing for 99.99% of the population.

I'm an older mom, and I have plenty of friends with competitive sports kids. I've watched many of them burn out or get cut from a varsity sport Junior year, and simply move on to a different one Sr. year. I've watched many of them only get a scholarship to a totally undesirable school, and ditch it to pay for the good school. I've watched some of them get a college scholarship, and have it taken away after freshman year after underperforming or getting bad grades.
Basically an inordinate amount of time and energy and sacrifice for nothing that couldn't be had from playing club sports.

Missing a close aunt's wedding should be absolutely unacceptable.

Anonymous wrote:What the hell? I can't believe these people who are saying that a soccer tournament is more important than a family wedding. It's not like this kid is going to be a professional athlete -- and if he was, missing one weekend tournament would not get in his way. People have FUCKED up values around here if they would really let a teenager choose a hobby over his extended family. Jeez.

+100%

Anonymous wrote:... I should also add that I had my date picked and communicated with the family before my cousin (that got married in June) did.... and my Aunt said to my face 11 months ago that she would find a way to be there no matter what (she seems to have forgotten that comment and only remembers saying "please don't pick august") Which she actually never said at all..

OP, if it bothers you so much that you bring up a 2 year old thread to complain, then grow up and communicate. Tell your aunt that you wish she could make it and it means a lot to you. Instead, you are going to pretend that it's all fine with you, and you'll "never forget"?

I'm not going to say that your aunt is right, or that you are, but seriously, grown ups tell each other when something is important.

... I should also add that I had my date picked and communicated with the family before my cousin (that got married in June) did.... and my Aunt said to my face 11 months ago that she would find a way to be there no matter what (she seems to have forgotten that comment and only remembers saying "please don't pick august") Which she actually never said at all..

I can understand this situation actually. My aunt and uncle who I am very close to (I'm an only child) will be missing my big event because their son and daughter have sporting events that day. The whole family will not be there as they live 6 hours away. Their daughters are freshman and their son is in middle school. They told my parents they considered having just 2 of the family members come but then decided against. I am bias, but I thought it was very silly. Everyone has their own opinion, but it's mine that family comes 1st. I think it's sad that is going out of style. Not to mention they did go to both my cousins weddings (last year in april and this year in June) Its a once in a lifetime event (a sporting event isn't) and its important to you that your family is there. I have had a lot of disappointment as well, but I learned that I can't "make" someone come... have your cry then honor the people that made your day a priority. I'll never tell them how I really feel, but I'm definitely not going to forget... (by the way, Im marrying someone who had a daughter that was an excellent soccer player, and he even said the "sports" excuse was rediculous and had his daughter go to important family events over games... It's all about perspective, I guess) This is my first marriage too. Hugs.

I would think that a wedding (funeral, first communion, confirmation, bar/bat mitzvah) of a family member should be excused by a coach, and if not, then get off the team. The mother of that child is self centered and insecure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I missed my brother's wedding. The first wedding, I mean. And then the second one too.

Sounds like you have a wonderful family, not.

Sounds like you have no sense of humor, not.

Anonymous wrote:I missed my brother's wedding. The first wedding, I mean. And then the second one too.

Sounds like you have a wonderful family, not.