Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's all I know about this: my husband did a cotillion like thing in his hometown and he has said he will not allow our kids to do it. He's not one to put his foot down about much, but he thinks it's outdated elitist nonsense.

It sounds like your husband had a bad experience, and I am sincerely sorry about that. But I am also confused by his statement. My impression is that cotillion is about learning social dances, learning formal manners, learning to introduce oneself and make small talk, and learning formal table manners. Those all seem like decent skills/things to know, so I guess I'm wondering what is elitist or nonsensical about it. Is the problem just in the way that cotillion programs are taught/presented, or is there an objection to the actual content?

Betting PP's husband is from small-town South (read: the sticks) and is judging DC area cotillion programs against that standard. And I admit, 30+ years ago especially in the south, they probably were for wanna-be elitists. It's a shame he can't get past that.

Anonymous wrote:Here's all I know about this: my husband did a cotillion like thing in his hometown and he has said he will not allow our kids to do it. He's not one to put his foot down about much, but he thinks it's outdated elitist nonsense.

It sounds like your husband had a bad experience, and I am sincerely sorry about that. But I am also confused by his statement. My impression is that cotillion is about learning social dances, learning formal manners, learning to introduce oneself and make small talk, and learning formal table manners. Those all seem like decent skills/things to know, so I guess I'm wondering what is elitist or nonsensical about it. Is the problem just in the way that cotillion programs are taught/presented, or is there an objection to the actual content?

Here's all I know about this: my husband did a cotillion like thing in his hometown and he has said he will not allow our kids to do it. He's not one to put his foot down about much, but he thinks it's outdated elitist nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is going to go. I see too many guys raised with no manners. I can only do so much at home so I am happy to have him with other families who also care about manners.

My kids have great manners because we instilled them within our house. We didn't need any BS cotillion to teach our son how to behave. You are pathetic.

Perhaps. But Cotlillion, like country clubs, and private schools, is just another way to separate out the upper class from the rest of you.

If you are sending your child to a private school in order to "separate out the upper class from the rest of you", you're a bigger loser than I thought possible.

PP is harsh. But is not the point worthy of deeper thought?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is going to go. I see too many guys raised with no manners. I can only do so much at home so I am happy to have him with other families who also care about manners.

My kids have great manners because we instilled them within our house. We didn't need any BS cotillion to teach our son how to behave. You are pathetic.

Perhaps. But Cotlillion, like country clubs, and private schools, is just another way to separate out the upper class from the rest of you.

Not so sure this is true anymore. Maybe it used to be. I know of at least one really obnoxious and ill mannered person applying and in the process of getting into one of the most elite country clubs right now and they are telling everyone that are joining already. If they get it, anyone can get in with the right connected sponsor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is going to go. I see too many guys raised with no manners. I can only do so much at home so I am happy to have him with other families who also care about manners.

My kids have great manners because we instilled them within our house. We didn't need any cotillion to teach our son how to behave.

NP. I agree that teaching manners begins at home and is the responsibility of the parents. Good for you for raising such a well mannered son, and your son for taking to heart the lessons you taught him. But wouldn't some reinforcement in a group setting outside the home, as well as practice in actual formal situations, only be beneficial on top of good home training? I'm obviously not saying it's essential, but I can certainly see why it would be helpful.

If my DDs express any interest I would likely be thrilled to have them in Capital Cotillion. We would have to consider Mrs. Simpson's much more carefully first to make sure that the program's current policies and attitudes match up with our family values before we would enroll the girls, but since I doubt we will receive an invitation that's really beside the point.

Hi Sanctimommy Captillion Cotillion is nice and it helps kid. Last night was really cute and not elitist at all. My normally shy child loved getting dressed up and learning to dance at a formal event with kids from all over. I also liked that I saw diversity. It was a nice event and I am glad I was talked into signing my child up for this event.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is going to go. I see too many guys raised with no manners. I can only do so much at home so I am happy to have him with other families who also care about manners.

My kids have great manners because we instilled them within our house. We didn't need any BS cotillion to teach our son how to behave. You are pathetic.

Perhaps. But Cotlillion, like country clubs, and private schools, is just another way to separate out the upper class from the rest of you.

If you are sending your child to a private school in order to "separate out the upper class from the rest of you", you're a bigger loser than I thought possible.

Couldn't agree more with pp. I would not touch the Cotillion or Mrs. Simpson with a ten foot pole if it is intended to weed out the "lower class". And I hope that there are few parents like the previous pp who attend private school purely to be included in the "upper class". Such stupid, misplaced priorities.

I watched last night. What is all this hoopla? The kids learned a few etiquette basics (how to sit, when to button your jacket, how to properly greet someone), a few waltz basics, and got to meet new kids, all the while laughing at a cartoonish Aussie dance instructor. A good time had by all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is going to go. I see too many guys raised with no manners. I can only do so much at home so I am happy to have him with other families who also care about manners.

My kids have great manners because we instilled them within our house. We didn't need any BS cotillion to teach our son how to behave. You are pathetic.

Perhaps. But Cotlillion, like country clubs, and private schools, is just another way to separate out the upper class from the rest of you.

If you are sending your child to a private school in order to "separate out the upper class from the rest of you", you're a bigger loser than I thought possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is going to go. I see too many guys raised with no manners. I can only do so much at home so I am happy to have him with other families who also care about manners.

My kids have great manners because we instilled them within our house. We didn't need any BS cotillion to teach our son how to behave. You are pathetic.

Perhaps. But Cotlillion, like country clubs, and private schools, is just another way to separate out the upper class from the rest of you.

Anonymous wrote:My son is going to go. I see too many guys raised with no manners. I can only do so much at home so I am happy to have him with other families who also care about manners.

My kids have great manners because we instilled them within our house. We didn't need any BS cotillion to teach our son how to behave. You are pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mrs. Simpson's is the new version of Mrs. Shippens and it is by invitation only. My DD, and all the other Jewish girls in her grade, were not invited. They were sued in the 80s and there was a consent decree so I don't think its as bad as the old days but its still pretty bad. And even if they didn't exclude the kids who are Jewish and/or AA, I don;t see any possible criteria for choosing some kids over others.

I think all the kids in our children's grades were invited. And no invitation is necessary. You can just call and ask to sign up your son or daughter. That's what we did this year when our older kid finally decided to do it.

You are thinking of Capital Cotillion. Mrs. Simpson's doesn't work that way.

Actually, in our case, it did.

I suspect they consider you the "right" kind of parent. This is not how it typically works.

My son is going to go. I see too many guys raised with no manners. I can only do so much at home so I am happy to have him with other families who also care about manners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mrs. Simpson's is the new version of Mrs. Shippens and it is by invitation only. My DD, and all the other Jewish girls in her grade, were not invited. They were sued in the 80s and there was a consent decree so I don't think its as bad as the old days but its still pretty bad. And even if they didn't exclude the kids who are Jewish and/or AA, I don;t see any possible criteria for choosing some kids over others.

I think all the kids in our children's grades were invited. And no invitation is necessary. You can just call and ask to sign up your son or daughter. That's what we did this year when our older kid finally decided to do it.

You are thinking of Capital Cotillion. Mrs. Simpson's doesn't work that way.

Actually, in our case, it did.