This thread is so freaking bizarre. Why are people so aggressive about keeping their nasty shoes on inside a home? Skipping a social event because you are so obsessed with wearing your shoes? WTF kind of smelly feet problem are you trying to hide?? The thought of wearing shoes all day until climbing into bed makes my feet ache.

The school's policy is invasive and concerning. Maybe in the 1950's this would have been a thing but today, it's pretty tone deaf.

Sure, it's a private school but not every family would feel comfortable showcasing their home like this. I'm sure some families have homes that aren't "nice enough," or maybe some families don't have homes at all. It's a great opportunity for adults to confirm who are the haves vs the have nots.

That said, getting your floors professionally cleaned after the dinner would be the way to go.

The idea that removing shoes means you do not need to clean your floors is backwards, dumb and misses the point. One cant ask people to remove their shoes nor would one want to remove their shoes unless the floor is extremely clean. Let me repeat - Your floor needs to be even cleaner w shoes off. It isnt some strategy to avoid cleaning. But once you do so you notice how dirty constantly leaving shoes on is.

I do think this is regional bc in NYC everyone instinctively takes their shoes off, or asks if they should, and those homes are *way* nicer than all of yours.

The point about messing up your outfit is valid and people make exceptions sometimes due to that, or at least warn ahead

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Actually the elementary schools (and daycares) around here require a change of shoes. Indoor shoes and outdoor shoes.

I have taught school for 38 years, 11 different schools, 3 regional areas,and overseas. I have never encountered that anywhere. AND that would never be able to be enforced. Asking a kid to be responsible for even one set of sneakers is already pushing it. Come on.

Nope, absolutely true. We live in Vermont and the kids wear outdoor shoes to school and change to an indoor pair when they get to school all winter and into mudseason which ends up being most of the school year

Agreed. A lot of DCUM posters are from the south. When I was a kid, we kept a pair of shoes at school for this. We also had to pack snow gear in our backpacks in the winter because they actually took us outside in the cold. Imagine that!

Same. A little bizarre that pp thinks this is so foreign.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Actually the elementary schools (and daycares) around here require a change of shoes. Indoor shoes and outdoor shoes.

I have taught school for 38 years, 11 different schools, 3 regional areas,and overseas. I have never encountered that anywhere. AND that would never be able to be enforced. Asking a kid to be responsible for even one set of sneakers is already pushing it. Come on.

Nope, absolutely true. We live in Vermont and the kids wear outdoor shoes to school and change to an indoor pair when they get to school all winter and into mudseason which ends up being most of the school year

Agreed. A lot of DCUM posters are from the south. When I was a kid, we kept a pair of shoes at school for this. We also had to pack snow gear in our backpacks in the winter because they actually took us outside in the cold. Imagine that!

This is why I'm glad we have hardwood floors. I love hosting, but white people are so weird about their shoes, and I don't want to offend, so we have floors that can be easily cleaned. We roll up the rugs and put them in the basement if we are hosting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a shoe-free house and don’t host large adult parties because this stresses me out. My friends are very vocal about how offended they are when they have to mess up their “look” by removing shoes.

Op here. I once invited a coworker to a kid party at my house and she was the only one who kept her heels on. I didn’t ask her to take them off.

DH has suggested we invite his work colleagues over for dinner and we have not yet because the shoe thing bothers me. At least for DH’s colleagues, I don’t have to think about them running around in our bedrooms in their shoes.

Why would they be in your bedrooms?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Actually the elementary schools (and daycares) around here require a change of shoes. Indoor shoes and outdoor shoes.

I have taught school for 38 years, 11 different schools, 3 regional areas,and overseas. I have never encountered that anywhere. AND that would never be able to be enforced. Asking a kid to be responsible for even one set of sneakers is already pushing it. Come on.

Nope, absolutely true. We live in Vermont and the kids wear outdoor shoes to school and change to an indoor pair when they get to school all winter and into mudseason which ends up being most of the school year

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that the motivation to remove shoes is to avoid cleaning.

+1

??? i mean yeah it is to avoid tracking e colli all over the place you cant take your shoes off UNLESS it is clean.

that reminds me of a family friend in BK (where everyone takes there shoes off at everyones house, as a matter of course). it is shoes off but she doesnt clean the floors well! she is constantly manically running a shitty vacuum haphayardly over it and thats it. so im constantly stepping on sticky crumbs. in her case, shoes off is an absurd ask and should really stay on.

also - i think it may be something that is done in the case of fancier homes/floors rather than less fancy.

I think shoes-on people are more likely to have help cleaning, so they don't care. Does that make them "fancy"?

I grew up with shoes-on parents, at least if there was company. And they grew up with live-in help. We didn't have that, but my mom cleaned a lot.

nah, im saying shoes off people have nicer (fancier) floors. it isnt a cleaning issue. you have to have extremely clean floors before asking people to walk on it w their bare feet or socks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Actually the elementary schools (and daycares) around here require a change of shoes. Indoor shoes and outdoor shoes.

I have taught school for 38 years, 11 different schools, 3 regional areas,and overseas. I have never encountered that anywhere. AND that would never be able to be enforced. Asking a kid to be responsible for even one set of sneakers is already pushing it. Come on.

Cool story, but that doesn’t prove that PP is a liar. It’s the norm in Japan btw

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that the motivation to remove shoes is to avoid cleaning.

+1

??? i mean yeah it is to avoid tracking e colli all over the place you cant take your shoes off UNLESS it is clean.

that reminds me of a family friend in BK (where everyone takes there shoes off at everyones house, as a matter of course). it is shoes off but she doesnt clean the floors well! she is constantly manically running a shitty vacuum haphayardly over it and thats it. so im constantly stepping on sticky crumbs. in her case, shoes off is an absurd ask and should really stay on.

also - i think it may be something that is done in the case of fancier homes/floors rather than less fancy.

I think shoes-on people are more likely to have help cleaning, so they don't care. Does that make them "fancy"?

I grew up with shoes-on parents, at least if there was company. And they grew up with live-in help. We didn't have that, but my mom cleaned a lot.

There are plenty of Americans that have shoes off. Do what you want. Who cares.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not remove my shoes in any home. This is part of my clothes, the shoes match the dress or pant or whatever, and I am not walking around with bare feet in your house, with everyone else's bare feet. I also do.not.want.to.see.everyone's toes. Gross. Do you see this at State dinners, or dinner parties, or the theater, or in schools, or anywhere? Learn to clean your floors. No. Jesus. If you need to do this, warn
everyone ahead, so they can bring their inside shoes.

Actually the elementary schools (and daycares) around here require a change of shoes. Indoor shoes and outdoor shoes.

I have taught school for 38 years, 11 different schools, 3 regional areas,and overseas. I have never encountered that anywhere. AND that would never be able to be enforced. Asking a kid to be responsible for even one set of sneakers is already pushing it. Come on.

In Canada this is super common. The children leave the indoor shoes at school/daycare.

American children can't be trusted with more than 1 pair of shoes, and American adults all have nasty feet or a host of foot ailments. Perhaps they should take notice of the rest of the world who doesn't seem to have these hang ups.

Americans always cater to the lowest common denominator. It’s just fairer that way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from Norway originally and live in the states now so my perspective may be skewed but I've never had guests over who haven't taken off their shoes at the door. Wouldn't it be very unsanitary for people to be walking inside with their shoes on? I just find this very strange and frankly a bit gross.

Moreover I don't see how this is an inconvenience to anyone. What would their reservation be? And again, would people wear shoes even if they're walking on a rug or something? Do you have to mop/clean daily, and have floor coverings professionally cleaned frequently? Just trying to wrap my head around this, thanks.

Canadian that also doesnt understand the blind rage at this issue.

Maybe because you and the Norwegian PP come from places that are covered in snow, slush, salted grime, and muck for more than half the year? That's not the case for plenty of other locations.

I think it is a case of not realizing the benefits until you are more accustomed to the stark difference. if it is a party you should let folks know for outfit planning. I never thought of this being so regional within the US. also its people w nicer floors

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that the motivation to remove shoes is to avoid cleaning.

+1

??? i mean yeah it is to avoid tracking e colli all over the place you cant take your shoes off UNLESS it is clean.

that reminds me of a family friend in BK (where everyone takes there shoes off at everyones house, as a matter of course). it is shoes off but she doesnt clean the floors well! she is constantly manically running a shitty vacuum haphayardly over it and thats it. so im constantly stepping on sticky crumbs. in her case, shoes off is an absurd ask and should really stay on.

also - i think it may be something that is done in the case of fancier homes/floors rather than less fancy.