Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 18:10     Subject: RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Time to return to reality, ladies.


Ugh this is such sexist garbage. As PPs have explained the issue isn’t people trying to WAH with a toddler. It’s tacking on the commuting hours to the workday which = needing even more childcare (this is essentially a sudden pay cut — after care for 2 kids can be $700+ per month).

Also my DH works in private sector IT. He and many other *men* (and women) in his field are fully remote. My DH has enjoyed the work/life balance and being home to coach the kids sports after school, he helps cook dinner, etc.

So it’s not just “ladies” who care about being around for their kids. Sorry your daughter couldn’t find a better father for her kids if you think this way.


“Couldn’t find a better father?” Really? That is so rude and uncalled for.

Sorry your husband might be out of a job in IT and actually have to work? So many people I know in tech and IT are getting laid off and those who finally found new roles have a rude awakening. One friend a PhD / MD but in biotech was laid off and is now complaining that he can’t pick his kids up at 3 and be done for the day, he now has to actually work!

Many people don’t have that same reality- talk to teachers, nurses, health aides, lawyers, etc, who have to be in the office or hospital. They actually work when they are meant to instead of having “work / life balance” and go do the grocery run in the middle of the day?

Also it was your choice to live where you are living I am kind of sick of this commute business. I grew up
In a small town with mediocre schools so I could be close to my mom’s work. I worked hard and got myself into a good college. You don’t need a McMansion an hour from your job and if that’s what you want good for you but then stop complaining about the commute.

My husband and I live in a small house and we can both walk or bike to work. Our child is in a good school although if we moved out the public schools are considered “better” but we made our choice.

If you aren’t happy with what is on offer then get a new job. It’s a two way street.


I know I'm a million pages behind, but this comparison right here is not the same. Aside from lawyers (many of whom I know work from home and have flexible schedules and are also compensated very well), teachers, nurses and health aides have pretty flexible schedules. My school district has days off all the time (not including summer), and the parking lot is empty 20 minutes after school is over. This is nothing against teachers, but the argument here is 50 hours/week in the office with long commutes on both sides. We need to compare apples to apples here which this is not doing.


Let’s set this record straight.

I’m a teacher. I do NOT have a flexible job when it comes to childcare. I often can’t take leave. My kid is sick? I need to go in because I can’t get a sub, so I have to rely on my small network. And doctors’ appts? I’m limited to Saturdays or appts after 4pm, which means I wait months to go. And my own children’s events? Forget about it. I’ve never made one since they are during school hours. I experience them through pictures other parents take. Again: limited subs.

And hours? I work over 60 a week. Minimum. I was at work at 6am this morning and left at 4. I brought home about 2-3 hours to prep for tomorrow. So when you saw me leave early? You didn’t know I ARRIVED early and still have work to do at home.

And commutes? I work 35 minutes from home.

So let’s avoid telling me I somehow have it so much easier than you. I don’t make assumptions about your job, so kindly don’t make assumptions about mine.

DP, I would not call teaching a flexible job but I’m calling BS on the idea that you’re putting in a 60 hour work week. You can make legitimate points without relying on that kind of ridiculous exaggeration.


I hate having my reality questioned by others. So here we go:

I collected 140 essays today, each 3-5 pages in length. Handwritten. I need to comment on each (let’s say 15 minutes minimum). So that’s 35 hours of grading if I take NO STOPS to eat, sleep, etc.

And I get 1 hour a day at work to plan, grade, email, eat lunch. Half the time it’s taken from me so I can sub another class. So: 35 work hours during which I can’t get anything done.

And I also have to plan lessons (5-6 hours a week), respond to approximately 120 emails a week, attend multiple team meetings, oh (let’s not forget) TEACH 25 classes a week.

So guess what? 60 is a good week. 70 hours is normal, too.

Don’t speak when you’re ignorant. It isn’t a good look.

You’re going to double down with 70 hours a week? You just described actual teaching for 35 hours a week, which includes perhaps 1 hour per day for grading, responding to emails, etc., and then 5-6 hours of lesson planning a week, which is getting you to about a 40 hour work week, and then you threw 35 hours of grading per week on there. That isn’t real. If you are actually having to spend 70 hours per week on your job as a teacher you are woefully deficient at time management.


Let’s talk about doubling down. I didn’t come to your work and explain your reality to you. You came to MINE and did that. Twice. It’s kind of silly, isn’t it?

Yes, that is my reality. That’s the reality for MANY teachers, which is driving the teacher shortage you may be aware of. (You are aware we are quitting in droves, right?)

I appreciate it’s fun to put down teachers, but guess what? The job is a little bit harder than you think it is. Yes, I really work 60-70 hours a week. Yes, I really do have to spend 30+ hours grading one set of essays. Just because an internet poster thinks teaching is easy doesn’t actually make it so.

As for your time management comment: if you can (in all of your wisdom) tell me how to get 30+ hours of work done in the 2-5 hours I’m allotted during the work week (dependent on subbing), I would LOVE to hear.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 18:03     Subject: RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Time to return to reality, ladies.


Ugh this is such sexist garbage. As PPs have explained the issue isn’t people trying to WAH with a toddler. It’s tacking on the commuting hours to the workday which = needing even more childcare (this is essentially a sudden pay cut — after care for 2 kids can be $700+ per month).

Also my DH works in private sector IT. He and many other *men* (and women) in his field are fully remote. My DH has enjoyed the work/life balance and being home to coach the kids sports after school, he helps cook dinner, etc.

So it’s not just “ladies” who care about being around for their kids. Sorry your daughter couldn’t find a better father for her kids if you think this way.


“Couldn’t find a better father?” Really? That is so rude and uncalled for.

Sorry your husband might be out of a job in IT and actually have to work? So many people I know in tech and IT are getting laid off and those who finally found new roles have a rude awakening. One friend a PhD / MD but in biotech was laid off and is now complaining that he can’t pick his kids up at 3 and be done for the day, he now has to actually work!

Many people don’t have that same reality- talk to teachers, nurses, health aides, lawyers, etc, who have to be in the office or hospital. They actually work when they are meant to instead of having “work / life balance” and go do the grocery run in the middle of the day?

Also it was your choice to live where you are living I am kind of sick of this commute business. I grew up
In a small town with mediocre schools so I could be close to my mom’s work. I worked hard and got myself into a good college. You don’t need a McMansion an hour from your job and if that’s what you want good for you but then stop complaining about the commute.

My husband and I live in a small house and we can both walk or bike to work. Our child is in a good school although if we moved out the public schools are considered “better” but we made our choice.

If you aren’t happy with what is on offer then get a new job. It’s a two way street.


I know I'm a million pages behind, but this comparison right here is not the same. Aside from lawyers (many of whom I know work from home and have flexible schedules and are also compensated very well), teachers, nurses and health aides have pretty flexible schedules. My school district has days off all the time (not including summer), and the parking lot is empty 20 minutes after school is over. This is nothing against teachers, but the argument here is 50 hours/week in the office with long commutes on both sides. We need to compare apples to apples here which this is not doing.


Let’s set this record straight.

I’m a teacher. I do NOT have a flexible job when it comes to childcare. I often can’t take leave. My kid is sick? I need to go in because I can’t get a sub, so I have to rely on my small network. And doctors’ appts? I’m limited to Saturdays or appts after 4pm, which means I wait months to go. And my own children’s events? Forget about it. I’ve never made one since they are during school hours. I experience them through pictures other parents take. Again: limited subs.

And hours? I work over 60 a week. Minimum. I was at work at 6am this morning and left at 4. I brought home about 2-3 hours to prep for tomorrow. So when you saw me leave early? You didn’t know I ARRIVED early and still have work to do at home.

And commutes? I work 35 minutes from home.

So let’s avoid telling me I somehow have it so much easier than you. I don’t make assumptions about your job, so kindly don’t make assumptions about mine.

DP, I would not call teaching a flexible job but I’m calling BS on the idea that you’re putting in a 60 hour work week. You can make legitimate points without relying on that kind of ridiculous exaggeration.


I hate having my reality questioned by others. So here we go:

I collected 140 essays today, each 3-5 pages in length. Handwritten. I need to comment on each (let’s say 15 minutes minimum). So that’s 35 hours of grading if I take NO STOPS to eat, sleep, etc.

And I get 1 hour a day at work to plan, grade, email, eat lunch. Half the time it’s taken from me so I can sub another class. So: 35 work hours during which I can’t get anything done.

And I also have to plan lessons (5-6 hours a week), respond to approximately 120 emails a week, attend multiple team meetings, oh (let’s not forget) TEACH 25 classes a week.

So guess what? 60 is a good week. 70 hours is normal, too.

Don’t speak when you’re ignorant. It isn’t a good look.

You’re going to double down with 70 hours a week? You just described actual teaching for 35 hours a week, which includes perhaps 1 hour per day for grading, responding to emails, etc., and then 5-6 hours of lesson planning a week, which is getting you to about a 40 hour work week, and then you threw 35 hours of grading per week on there. That isn’t real. If you are actually having to spend 70 hours per week on your job as a teacher you are woefully deficient at time management.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 17:36     Subject: RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Time to return to reality, ladies.


Ugh this is such sexist garbage. As PPs have explained the issue isn’t people trying to WAH with a toddler. It’s tacking on the commuting hours to the workday which = needing even more childcare (this is essentially a sudden pay cut — after care for 2 kids can be $700+ per month).

Also my DH works in private sector IT. He and many other *men* (and women) in his field are fully remote. My DH has enjoyed the work/life balance and being home to coach the kids sports after school, he helps cook dinner, etc.

So it’s not just “ladies” who care about being around for their kids. Sorry your daughter couldn’t find a better father for her kids if you think this way.


“Couldn’t find a better father?” Really? That is so rude and uncalled for.

Sorry your husband might be out of a job in IT and actually have to work? So many people I know in tech and IT are getting laid off and those who finally found new roles have a rude awakening. One friend a PhD / MD but in biotech was laid off and is now complaining that he can’t pick his kids up at 3 and be done for the day, he now has to actually work!

Many people don’t have that same reality- talk to teachers, nurses, health aides, lawyers, etc, who have to be in the office or hospital. They actually work when they are meant to instead of having “work / life balance” and go do the grocery run in the middle of the day?

Also it was your choice to live where you are living I am kind of sick of this commute business. I grew up
In a small town with mediocre schools so I could be close to my mom’s work. I worked hard and got myself into a good college. You don’t need a McMansion an hour from your job and if that’s what you want good for you but then stop complaining about the commute.

My husband and I live in a small house and we can both walk or bike to work. Our child is in a good school although if we moved out the public schools are considered “better” but we made our choice.

If you aren’t happy with what is on offer then get a new job. It’s a two way street.


I know I'm a million pages behind, but this comparison right here is not the same. Aside from lawyers (many of whom I know work from home and have flexible schedules and are also compensated very well), teachers, nurses and health aides have pretty flexible schedules. My school district has days off all the time (not including summer), and the parking lot is empty 20 minutes after school is over. This is nothing against teachers, but the argument here is 50 hours/week in the office with long commutes on both sides. We need to compare apples to apples here which this is not doing.


Let’s set this record straight.

I’m a teacher. I do NOT have a flexible job when it comes to childcare. I often can’t take leave. My kid is sick? I need to go in because I can’t get a sub, so I have to rely on my small network. And doctors’ appts? I’m limited to Saturdays or appts after 4pm, which means I wait months to go. And my own children’s events? Forget about it. I’ve never made one since they are during school hours. I experience them through pictures other parents take. Again: limited subs.

And hours? I work over 60 a week. Minimum. I was at work at 6am this morning and left at 4. I brought home about 2-3 hours to prep for tomorrow. So when you saw me leave early? You didn’t know I ARRIVED early and still have work to do at home.

And commutes? I work 35 minutes from home.

So let’s avoid telling me I somehow have it so much easier than you. I don’t make assumptions about your job, so kindly don’t make assumptions about mine.

DP, I would not call teaching a flexible job but I’m calling BS on the idea that you’re putting in a 60 hour work week. You can make legitimate points without relying on that kind of ridiculous exaggeration.


I hate having my reality questioned by others. So here we go:

I collected 140 essays today, each 3-5 pages in length. Handwritten. I need to comment on each (let’s say 15 minutes minimum). So that’s 35 hours of grading if I take NO STOPS to eat, sleep, etc.

And I get 1 hour a day at work to plan, grade, email, eat lunch. Half the time it’s taken from me so I can sub another class. So: 35 work hours during which I can’t get anything done.

And I also have to plan lessons (5-6 hours a week), respond to approximately 120 emails a week, attend multiple team meetings, oh (let’s not forget) TEACH 25 classes a week.

So guess what? 60 is a good week. 70 hours is normal, too.

Don’t speak when you’re ignorant. It isn’t a good look.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 17:29     Subject: RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Time to return to reality, ladies.


Ugh this is such sexist garbage. As PPs have explained the issue isn’t people trying to WAH with a toddler. It’s tacking on the commuting hours to the workday which = needing even more childcare (this is essentially a sudden pay cut — after care for 2 kids can be $700+ per month).

Also my DH works in private sector IT. He and many other *men* (and women) in his field are fully remote. My DH has enjoyed the work/life balance and being home to coach the kids sports after school, he helps cook dinner, etc.

So it’s not just “ladies” who care about being around for their kids. Sorry your daughter couldn’t find a better father for her kids if you think this way.


“Couldn’t find a better father?” Really? That is so rude and uncalled for.

Sorry your husband might be out of a job in IT and actually have to work? So many people I know in tech and IT are getting laid off and those who finally found new roles have a rude awakening. One friend a PhD / MD but in biotech was laid off and is now complaining that he can’t pick his kids up at 3 and be done for the day, he now has to actually work!

Many people don’t have that same reality- talk to teachers, nurses, health aides, lawyers, etc, who have to be in the office or hospital. They actually work when they are meant to instead of having “work / life balance” and go do the grocery run in the middle of the day?

Also it was your choice to live where you are living I am kind of sick of this commute business. I grew up
In a small town with mediocre schools so I could be close to my mom’s work. I worked hard and got myself into a good college. You don’t need a McMansion an hour from your job and if that’s what you want good for you but then stop complaining about the commute.

My husband and I live in a small house and we can both walk or bike to work. Our child is in a good school although if we moved out the public schools are considered “better” but we made our choice.

If you aren’t happy with what is on offer then get a new job. It’s a two way street.


I know I'm a million pages behind, but this comparison right here is not the same. Aside from lawyers (many of whom I know work from home and have flexible schedules and are also compensated very well), teachers, nurses and health aides have pretty flexible schedules. My school district has days off all the time (not including summer), and the parking lot is empty 20 minutes after school is over. This is nothing against teachers, but the argument here is 50 hours/week in the office with long commutes on both sides. We need to compare apples to apples here which this is not doing.


Let’s set this record straight.

I’m a teacher. I do NOT have a flexible job when it comes to childcare. I often can’t take leave. My kid is sick? I need to go in because I can’t get a sub, so I have to rely on my small network. And doctors’ appts? I’m limited to Saturdays or appts after 4pm, which means I wait months to go. And my own children’s events? Forget about it. I’ve never made one since they are during school hours. I experience them through pictures other parents take. Again: limited subs.

And hours? I work over 60 a week. Minimum. I was at work at 6am this morning and left at 4. I brought home about 2-3 hours to prep for tomorrow. So when you saw me leave early? You didn’t know I ARRIVED early and still have work to do at home.

And commutes? I work 35 minutes from home.

So let’s avoid telling me I somehow have it so much easier than you. I don’t make assumptions about your job, so kindly don’t make assumptions about mine.

DP, I would not call teaching a flexible job but I’m calling BS on the idea that you’re putting in a 60 hour work week. You can make legitimate points without relying on that kind of ridiculous exaggeration.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 17:20     Subject: RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are a lot of women employed FT in professional careers really saying they have no childcare? That's not what I've seen on DCUM. People are often talking about the extra time for commuting and difference of being out of the house. So like a 10yp may come home from school and not have childcare from 4-5pm because they can entertain themselves while parent works. But the parent may not want them actually alone in the house. It's a childcare gap. Same with the mornings before school opens - I would need beforecare to RTO and it might not be available this school year (already full). Or preschool may close at 5pm but with commute I'd get home later than that, etc.

WFH necessitates childcare if you have a real job but can be for fewer hours, or you cover the occasional days off and breaks without always taking PTO etc

Off the top of my head I can think of four teachers and one non-profit employee who ended up staying at home specifically because the cost of childcare was greater than their salaries. The one at the non-profit was priced out after her second kid, the teachers all stopped after their first.


childcare costs more than a teacher's salary? that's hard to believe. granted, it might not be worth working for the difference (salary - childcare), but surely childcare does not cost more than a teacher's salary.


lol! If you have multiple kids that need childcare, the total could easily be $5,000 to $6,000 a month. How much do you think teachers make?


i know what teachers make. having multiple kids timed so that you need childcare for several kids at a time is poor planning.

how about this ... if you can't afford 2 - 3 kids ... don't have them!

i thought this topic was about federal employees, not teachers. do teaxchers have the option to WFH? didn't think so.


Let’s remember your rule the next time a teacher posts a thread about the unique challenges of teaching.

But since teaching came up on this thread and (unsurprisingly) non-teachers made incorrect claims about our profession, it’s a good thing a few of us are here to share the truth.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 17:04     Subject: Re:RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.
my mom had to quit her job when she married. She was not allowed to have a credit card in her name until 1972. She was white. It was NOT better in the 1950’s.


My mom was kicked out of the military for getting pregnant. But yeah. It was totally better back then.


This doesn’t seem unreasonable.



Yeah, she totally couldn't handle her supply officer duties while pregnant.


If the terms of her employment included her not being pregnant, she simply should not have chosen to get pregnant if she wanted to keep her job. It’s not complicated.


You know birth control fails, right? And forced abortions are gross? And the Supreme Court overturned this because it was patently wrong, not to mention immoral?


But no one forced her to have an abortion, did they? They honorably discharged her. Quite different.


You never served, did you? POS.


LOL. Do you throw tantrums about everything that doesn’t go your way? Your parents failed you spectacularly.


Truth hurts, huh? Go harass someone else with your pathetic sexism. By the way, women service in combat now. I hope that chaps your butt raw.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 17:01     Subject: Re:RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.
my mom had to quit her job when she married. She was not allowed to have a credit card in her name until 1972. She was white. It was NOT better in the 1950’s.


My mom was kicked out of the military for getting pregnant. But yeah. It was totally better back then.


This doesn’t seem unreasonable.



Yeah, she totally couldn't handle her supply officer duties while pregnant.


If the terms of her employment included her not being pregnant, she simply should not have chosen to get pregnant if she wanted to keep her job. It’s not complicated.


You know birth control fails, right? And forced abortions are gross? And the Supreme Court overturned this because it was patently wrong, not to mention immoral?


But no one forced her to have an abortion, did they? They honorably discharged her. Quite different.


You never served, did you? POS.


LOL. Do you throw tantrums about everything that doesn’t go your way? Your parents failed you spectacularly.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 17:01     Subject: RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are a lot of women employed FT in professional careers really saying they have no childcare? That's not what I've seen on DCUM. People are often talking about the extra time for commuting and difference of being out of the house. So like a 10yp may come home from school and not have childcare from 4-5pm because they can entertain themselves while parent works. But the parent may not want them actually alone in the house. It's a childcare gap. Same with the mornings before school opens - I would need beforecare to RTO and it might not be available this school year (already full). Or preschool may close at 5pm but with commute I'd get home later than that, etc.

WFH necessitates childcare if you have a real job but can be for fewer hours, or you cover the occasional days off and breaks without always taking PTO etc

Off the top of my head I can think of four teachers and one non-profit employee who ended up staying at home specifically because the cost of childcare was greater than their salaries. The one at the non-profit was priced out after her second kid, the teachers all stopped after their first.


childcare costs more than a teacher's salary? that's hard to believe. granted, it might not be worth working for the difference (salary - childcare), but surely childcare does not cost more than a teacher's salary.


lol! If you have multiple kids that need childcare, the total could easily be $5,000 to $6,000 a month. How much do you think teachers make?


i know what teachers make. having multiple kids timed so that you need childcare for several kids at a time is poor planning.

how about this ... if you can't afford 2 - 3 kids ... don't have them!

i thought this topic was about federal employees, not teachers. do teaxchers have the option to WFH? didn't think so.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 16:55     Subject: RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are a lot of women employed FT in professional careers really saying they have no childcare? That's not what I've seen on DCUM. People are often talking about the extra time for commuting and difference of being out of the house. So like a 10yp may come home from school and not have childcare from 4-5pm because they can entertain themselves while parent works. But the parent may not want them actually alone in the house. It's a childcare gap. Same with the mornings before school opens - I would need beforecare to RTO and it might not be available this school year (already full). Or preschool may close at 5pm but with commute I'd get home later than that, etc.

WFH necessitates childcare if you have a real job but can be for fewer hours, or you cover the occasional days off and breaks without always taking PTO etc

Off the top of my head I can think of four teachers and one non-profit employee who ended up staying at home specifically because the cost of childcare was greater than their salaries. The one at the non-profit was priced out after her second kid, the teachers all stopped after their first.


childcare costs more than a teacher's salary? that's hard to believe. granted, it might not be worth working for the difference (salary - childcare), but surely childcare does not cost more than a teacher's salary.


You are so out of touch if you’re shocked by this.


child care for one kid does not cost a teacher's whole salary, even after tax.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 16:48     Subject: Re:RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.
my mom had to quit her job when she married. She was not allowed to have a credit card in her name until 1972. She was white. It was NOT better in the 1950’s.


My mom was kicked out of the military for getting pregnant. But yeah. It was totally better back then.


This doesn’t seem unreasonable.



Yeah, she totally couldn't handle her supply officer duties while pregnant.


If the terms of her employment included her not being pregnant, she simply should not have chosen to get pregnant if she wanted to keep her job. It’s not complicated.


You know birth control fails, right? And forced abortions are gross? And the Supreme Court overturned this because it was patently wrong, not to mention immoral?


But no one forced her to have an abortion, did they? They honorably discharged her. Quite different.


You never served, did you? POS.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 16:46     Subject: RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our kid has been working from home since well before Covid. When she and her husband decided to have kids they lined up child care first - the grandparents when the kids were babies and a preschool/daycare once they were toddlers. It never occurred to her for a second that she could watch her kids at home herself and work at the same time. It’s not fair to anyone involved.

Time to return to reality, ladies.


Ugh this is such sexist garbage. As PPs have explained the issue isn’t people trying to WAH with a toddler. It’s tacking on the commuting hours to the workday which = needing even more childcare (this is essentially a sudden pay cut — after care for 2 kids can be $700+ per month).

Also my DH works in private sector IT. He and many other *men* (and women) in his field are fully remote. My DH has enjoyed the work/life balance and being home to coach the kids sports after school, he helps cook dinner, etc.

So it’s not just “ladies” who care about being around for their kids. Sorry your daughter couldn’t find a better father for her kids if you think this way.


“Couldn’t find a better father?” Really? That is so rude and uncalled for.

Sorry your husband might be out of a job in IT and actually have to work? So many people I know in tech and IT are getting laid off and those who finally found new roles have a rude awakening. One friend a PhD / MD but in biotech was laid off and is now complaining that he can’t pick his kids up at 3 and be done for the day, he now has to actually work!

Many people don’t have that same reality- talk to teachers, nurses, health aides, lawyers, etc, who have to be in the office or hospital. They actually work when they are meant to instead of having “work / life balance” and go do the grocery run in the middle of the day?

Also it was your choice to live where you are living I am kind of sick of this commute business. I grew up
In a small town with mediocre schools so I could be close to my mom’s work. I worked hard and got myself into a good college. You don’t need a McMansion an hour from your job and if that’s what you want good for you but then stop complaining about the commute.

My husband and I live in a small house and we can both walk or bike to work. Our child is in a good school although if we moved out the public schools are considered “better” but we made our choice.

If you aren’t happy with what is on offer then get a new job. It’s a two way street.


I know I'm a million pages behind, but this comparison right here is not the same. Aside from lawyers (many of whom I know work from home and have flexible schedules and are also compensated very well), teachers, nurses and health aides have pretty flexible schedules. My school district has days off all the time (not including summer), and the parking lot is empty 20 minutes after school is over. This is nothing against teachers, but the argument here is 50 hours/week in the office with long commutes on both sides. We need to compare apples to apples here which this is not doing.


Let’s set this record straight.

I’m a teacher. I do NOT have a flexible job when it comes to childcare. I often can’t take leave. My kid is sick? I need to go in because I can’t get a sub, so I have to rely on my small network. And doctors’ appts? I’m limited to Saturdays or appts after 4pm, which means I wait months to go. And my own children’s events? Forget about it. I’ve never made one since they are during school hours. I experience them through pictures other parents take. Again: limited subs.

And hours? I work over 60 a week. Minimum. I was at work at 6am this morning and left at 4. I brought home about 2-3 hours to prep for tomorrow. So when you saw me leave early? You didn’t know I ARRIVED early and still have work to do at home.

And commutes? I work 35 minutes from home.

So let’s avoid telling me I somehow have it so much easier than you. I don’t make assumptions about your job, so kindly don’t make assumptions about mine.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 16:41     Subject: Re:RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.
my mom had to quit her job when she married. She was not allowed to have a credit card in her name until 1972. She was white. It was NOT better in the 1950’s.


My mom was kicked out of the military for getting pregnant. But yeah. It was totally better back then.


This doesn’t seem unreasonable.



Yeah, she totally couldn't handle her supply officer duties while pregnant.


If the terms of her employment included her not being pregnant, she simply should not have chosen to get pregnant if she wanted to keep her job. It’s not complicated.


You know birth control fails, right? And forced abortions are gross? And the Supreme Court overturned this because it was patently wrong, not to mention immoral?


But no one forced her to have an abortion, did they? They honorably discharged her. Quite different.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 16:39     Subject: Re:RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.
my mom had to quit her job when she married. She was not allowed to have a credit card in her name until 1972. She was white. It was NOT better in the 1950’s.


My mom was kicked out of the military for getting pregnant. But yeah. It was totally better back then.


This doesn’t seem unreasonable.



did men get kicked out for getting a woman pregnant?


I’m truly sorry that you don’t understand basic biology. A pregnancy can actually impact a woman’s ability to do her job, particularly in highly physical jobs such as the military.

If it’s just punishment for a rules violation, a woman is easier to catch (I would think this would be obvious) because… she’s pregnant.


She was married to my dad, you fool. Who was of the same rank. There was no rules violation. And she said behind a desk. You just couldn't be pregnant and in the military. They literally forced abortions over this, and you're DEFENDING it?


That IS a rule, dummy.


Women weren't discharged for violating a rule, moron.


“You can’t X while Y” is a textbook example of a rule. In your example, X = “be pregnant” and Y = “in the military”.

Again, I am SO SORRY that no one has ever explained to you that sometimes life isn’t fair. Your parents chose to engage in sex and birth control failure is and has always been a risk. They chose to take that risk but then want to cry about the consequences. Too bad, so sad.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 16:38     Subject: Re:RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.


The lifestyle was different in the 1950s allowing more families to live on one income. Houses were smaller. No dishwashers. Often no air conditioning, second car, dining out, vacations other than to their families. Fewer clothes, fewer things. Living on one income is still possible, but challenging in this area.

This.


COMPLETE BS. Smaller houses still cost a lot of money. Adding up all those items would not make up the shortfall from dropping a second income. No air conditioning? Good luck keeping your job when you stink of BO constantly. Why don’t you include avocado toast?
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 16:37     Subject: RTO and No Childcare.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In reading the threads about RTO, I have been amazed at how many could not return because they lack childcare. I have said for years, one positive of COVID has been the bandwidth for working mothers that generous telework has allowed. As I went from active duty military to FED, I have always had childcare and still do; but I recognize that is because my military career embedded that need. There is a childcare shortage in this country - especially in NOVA. Could you not RTO due to lack of childcare? Or the cost of childcare would make it uneconomical? If so, are you a woman?

Why are parents entitled to outsourcing their child for cheap? Hiring a complete stranger to essentially parent your child is a luxury, as caregivers have just as many living expenses as you do.


I’ve thought about this too. They’re taking care of your precious kids! Don’t go cheap.

I had two kids who were in daycare from the time they were 12 weeks old, until they started kindergarten. It wasn’t cheap, I didn’t make a lot and DH made even less for a while when we had our first. So no fancy extras for us, one inexpensive vacation a year, not many meals out, only one car payment.

I think a certain number of people have gotten used to not paying for daycare or before-after care and are spending that money elsewhere and don’t want to make cuts to lifestyle.

Or maybe people just think it's stupid to put their kids in 2-3 more hours of paid childcare a day just to come into an office and stare at their computer with headphones on...

You RTO people are nuts.