Anonymous wrote:There is SAHM during the early childhood years (until elementary school, maybe middle school at the latest), and there is SAHM forever.

When I see the former, I think - lucky kids.

When I see the latter, I think - lazy mom.

What if her husband makes a lot of money, and is totally fine with his wife not going back to work? There are still mom things to do for high schoolers - schlepping to activities that don't take place at school, cooking and cleaning, helping with college applications, etc, and doing things like doctor's appointments, vehicle registration, and costco trips during the weekday makes weekends and evenings free for family time. It's clearly not necessary to stay at home to get these things done, but it can cut down on stress. And if neither spouse wants the wife to go back to work, it seems weird for the SAHM to do so if it only increases their HHI by 50K or something.

This is basically my current situation. I'm am bored so I'm planning on going back to work in the fall, but if the increase in household stress outweighs the benefits working, I'll just spend another few years as a SAHM and stave off the boredom by doing substitute teaching or volunteering. That might happen because my job hours aren't flexible. I am definitely not type A, but I wouldn't call myself lazy either.

Anonymous wrote:There is SAHM during the early childhood years (until elementary school, maybe middle school at the latest), and there is SAHM forever.

When I see the former, I think - lucky kids.

When I see the latter, I think - lazy mom.

I was an ambitious career woman before I had kids. I have been a working mom, part time working mom, work from home mom and currently a SAHM. My oldest is now in high school and my youngest started elementary. I was planning to go back to work but now my elderly parents need me more than my kids.

I do see women who have high school kids and worrying about college costs and think the mom should get a job. I don’t understand women who don’t have high earning husbands who don’t go back to work.

I haven’t read the PPs but who cares what anyone else thinks.

OP sounds jealous.

This is something we all seemed to have opinions about in our 30s. I’m almost 50 now and we’re all much more envious of friends who have retired early than friends who are killing it in their careers. Life is short. Family is important.

When we feel the need to judge others, specially if we know nothing about them, its an attempt to feel good about ourselves and validate our choices. Pretty pathetic!

My sister is like this. She just had no goals or ambitions outside of the home. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way for her. She married a dud who couldn't hold a job so she had to go to work and take care of the kid. They got divorced.

I also have a cousin like this, too. Worked odd jobs until 24 when she got married, and became a sahm. She was on track to do something that I thought was interesting, but she dropped out. She also didn't have much ambition other than marriage and kids. Her life sounds really boring to me, but I guess it makes them happy.

OTH, having kids and being a FT wohm is super stressful. I did quit and become a sahm for 2 years. Those were two very boring years for me, but it reduced the stress level in the house, so I don't regret it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just see it as a little kid, i wanted and needed my mother's time and attention. Children's psychological development depends on it. Its not the same as getting raised by hired help in a daycare with a dozen other kids.

However, I understand that this level of sacrifice isn't good for mother's professional and social life.

That's why having a kid is a serious decision. Having a uterus doesn't mean one can provide what kid needs.

As a kid with a SAHM, I had too much of my mom's attention, it was often stifling. It was almost a relief when she went back part-time once I reached HS and I had an hour to myself when I got home in the afternoons. Conversely, my dad worked long hours at an in-flexible job and then was always busy doing yard work and other chores on the weekend, so I rarely got to spend any quality time with him.

Just saying, an imbalance doesn't work well either. A kid needs attention from both parents.

You sound really ungrateful. I bet you had a very nice childhood.

You sound judgemental, where did you learn that from?

Probably in a daycare center.

There is SAHM during the early childhood years (until elementary school, maybe middle school at the latest), and there is SAHM forever.

When I see the former, I think - lucky kids.

When I see the latter, I think - lazy mom.

They both know and are content in their role. A role that plays a valuable service and helps build a better society.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just see it as a little kid, i wanted and needed my mother's time and attention. Children's psychological development depends on it. Its not the same as getting raised by hired help in a daycare with a dozen other kids.

However, I understand that this level of sacrifice isn't good for mother's professional and social life.

That's why having a kid is a serious decision. Having a uterus doesn't mean one can provide what kid needs.

As a kid with a SAHM, I had too much of my mom's attention, it was often stifling. It was almost a relief when she went back part-time once I reached HS and I had an hour to myself when I got home in the afternoons. Conversely, my dad worked long hours at an in-flexible job and then was always busy doing yard work and other chores on the weekend, so I rarely got to spend any quality time with him.

Just saying, an imbalance doesn't work well either. A kid needs attention from both parents.

You sound really ungrateful. I bet you had a very nice childhood.

You sound judgemental, where did you learn that from?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just see it as a little kid, i wanted and needed my mother's time and attention. Children's psychological development depends on it. Its not the same as getting raised by hired help in a daycare with a dozen other kids.

However, I understand that this level of sacrifice isn't good for mother's professional and social life.

That's why having a kid is a serious decision. Having a uterus doesn't mean one can provide what kid needs.

As a kid with a SAHM, I had too much of my mom's attention, it was often stifling. It was almost a relief when she went back part-time once I reached HS and I had an hour to myself when I got home in the afternoons. Conversely, my dad worked long hours at an in-flexible job and then was always busy doing yard work and other chores on the weekend, so I rarely got to spend any quality time with him.

Just saying, an imbalance doesn't work well either. A kid needs attention from both parents.

You sound really ungrateful. I bet you had a very nice childhood.

Third wave feminism has ruined the American family.

Anonymous wrote:I just see it as a little kid, i wanted and needed my mother's time and attention. Children's psychological development depends on it. Its not the same as getting raised by hired help in a daycare with a dozen other kids.

However, I understand that this level of sacrifice isn't good for mother's professional and social life.

That's why having a kid is a serious decision. Having a uterus doesn't mean one can provide what kid needs.

As a kid with a SAHM, I had too much of my mom's attention, it was often stifling. It was almost a relief when she went back part-time once I reached HS and I had an hour to myself when I got home in the afternoons. Conversely, my dad worked long hours at an in-flexible job and then was always busy doing yard work and other chores on the weekend, so I rarely got to spend any quality time with him.

Just saying, an imbalance doesn't work well either. A kid needs attention from both parents.

I just see it as a little kid, i wanted and needed my mother's time and attention. Children's psychological development depends on it. Its not the same as getting raised by hired help in a daycare with a dozen other kids.

However, I understand that this level of sacrifice isn't good for mother's professional and social life.

That's why having a kid is a serious decision. Having a uterus doesn't mean one can provide what kid needs.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anyone cares. I have been caring less and less about others. I don’t care if someone is working or not. If this is what is occupying your time, you need better hobbies.

I read the subject title and thought this. I really don’t care how other people live their lives.