Anonymous
06/10/2023 12:25
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Anonymous wrote:The most unbelievable part of the update is that you could call the help desk, actually get help, get itineraries connected. That sounds wild. Because according to these help desks, sometimes you can't even connect that your own underage child is flying with you.
Its a whole different world for Global Services. They actually answer phones right away and help.
Anonymous
06/10/2023 11:51
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
The most unbelievable part of the update is that you could call the help desk, actually get help, get itineraries connected. That sounds wild. Because according to these help desks, sometimes you can't even connect that your own underage child is flying with you.
Anonymous
06/10/2023 11:48
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
I was sort of outraged on your kids' behalf but I do think it's great they were willing to give up their seats. Yes the entitlement would make me not want to give your parents what they want but boy, I'm only 40 and flying coach overseas is a much different experience now than it was when I was a teenager. I can't imagine what it would be like if I was in my seventies.
Anonymous
06/10/2023 11:39
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Anonymous wrote:OP here with a final outcome!! Had a long talk with my parents.
First, when they bought their tickets, they knew we we were in business class and also figured we got a great deal like we always seem to do. They knowingly booked coach because: (1) they couldn’t afford business class and (2) they assumed that DH could just upgrade them for free because he has elite status. Truthfully, DH has previously hooked them up with first class tix to Hawaii, London, and Seattle, but they have/had no clue how challenging this can be and that there are no guarantees. They wrongly assumed it would be easy and that we’re overflowing with FF miles, so they didn’t see it as a burden.
Second, my dad – especially – doesn’t like to be outdone. He highly respects DH, but is always competing with him. When he saw that we had booked a Sky Suite + Veranda Room combo on Celebrity, he decided to take it up a notch and book a better Celebrity Suite for him and my mom. He really wants his cabin on the cruise ship to be the family gathering location. I am sure that sitting in coach while my family sits in business just rubbed him the wrong way. But he’s stuck with minimal recourse, not having a spare $10K+ to essentially maintain pace with DH.
Third, I am not comfortable having my parents sitting in coach while my kids are in business class. It would embarrass me to no end. Quite frankly, both of my kids felt it was wrong as well (DD absolutely wants business, but appreciates the rightness of offering it up to a 74 year old grandparent; DS offered it up w/o hesitation). It’s annoying that my dad tried to guilt his way into better seats at our expense, but…it is his way. He can be a competitive and controlling jerk, but I think he wants to do the right thing. I don’t have to love the behavior to still love and respect the person.
So, we’ve decided to give up two of our first class seats to my parents. We have a nice cluster of 4 in the middle of a 787 in both directions. DH was able to call the GS help desk at United and have my parents’ itinerary connected to ours. United upgraded my parents’ seats from Economy to Economy Plus at no cost since we’re basically all flying together and GS members are eligible for this. Then, DH has applied PlusPoints to my parents’ seats. It is waitlist-only, but United assures us that the upgrades will be prioritized as Global Services, so maybe we’ll get lucky. As the flight draws nearer, if the price for a paid upgrade drops, DH might go ahead and purchase upgrades to either Premium Plus or to Polaris Business. Regardless, my parents will be sitting in business. United assures me that an on-board switch of seats will not be a problem for family members (assuming no back and forth).
My parents didn’t really appreciate the complexities of FF miles and upgrades. But they highly value the upgrade from coach to business. My parents have offered to give each of our kids $500 spending money for the cruise plus to pay for all excursions for all six of us (beyond our on-board credits, anyway). DH is still covering the three hotel rooms for several days pre- / post-cruise.
That’s wonderful. It sounds like you all are going to have a wonderful time. And I think your kids are lovely.
Anonymous
06/10/2023 11:13
Subject: Re:Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Anonymous wrote:Your father sounds awful. He wasted his money upgrading his cruise room just to outdo your husband then expects you and your husband to twist into knots making sure he has better flight seats. Yuck.
This exactly. What a peach.
Anonymous
06/10/2023 10:58
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t your global services husband offer to upgrade them? I was global services for many years and always used upgrades or miles for my aging parents.
He’s already covering several hotel nights for them in Europe ..which is not inexpensive. They agreed or offered to pay for their own flight and cruise ticket. They are getting their hotels paid for by OPs family. Now, they’ve decided that they want the kids seats that the husband bought with his miles.
I would say no and tell my parents that they are being insanely rude.
Giving them some of his upgrade points is basically free for a global services member. I think it’s really weird they didn’t offer this in the first place.
OP said he used all his points already.
Anonymous
06/10/2023 10:55
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Anonymous wrote:I HOPE I'm raising kids who would not think twice and gladly offer their seats to their grandparents who wore themselves out playing with them when the kids were younger. The difference in body fatigue and trip recovery is huge between teens and the elderly. I can't say they won't be the type to pout and put themselves first or that my parents would insist the kids get to try out and enjoy first. It's hypothetical but I don't judge op's family for having selfish teens or demanding parents (older men have less tact than anyone). It could happen to any of us but in your position I'd force the kids to coach
NP here. I’d like to think my kids would take the coach seats, too, but you’re also assuming a great relationship and investment by the grandparents. My kids have had none of that — MIL talks a good game about wanting to see our kids (3 hours by car) but they make almost no effort, even when we go to them. They have plenty of money and plan extravagant trips for themselves (seriously insane money for things they will never use, like unlimited top shelf alcohol on cruises) but have never once taken anyone on a family vacation. They do the emotional blackmail stuff too (like threatening to uninvited people to our kids events if we don’t do things the IL’s way). So not only would I not force my kids to sit in coach, I probably wouldn’t let them.
Anonymous
06/10/2023 00:56
Subject: Re:Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Your father sounds awful. He wasted his money upgrading his cruise room just to outdo your husband then expects you and your husband to twist into knots making sure he has better flight seats. Yuck.
Anonymous
06/09/2023 22:07
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t your global services husband offer to upgrade them? I was global services for many years and always used upgrades or miles for my aging parents.
We’re global services and have never seen it like the last few months. Transatlantic flights are so booked so there seem to be fewer upgrades. We have multiple kids and can’t find flights to accommodate all of us. Even last summer was a piece of cake compared to now. We gave up on 6 for the same flights this summer. It’s likely OP would have had to book the grandparents on a different itinerary
You can get 6 business class saver awards IAD-FRA on August 15 with another 6 business class saver awards FRA-IAD returning on August 22.
Frankfurt is cool. Or you could connect to somewhere else on Lufthansa. Book these. If you don’t, I might!!
Anonymous
06/09/2023 22:04
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t your global services husband offer to upgrade them? I was global services for many years and always used upgrades or miles for my aging parents.
We’re global services and have never seen it like the last few months. Transatlantic flights are so booked so there seem to be fewer upgrades. We have multiple kids and can’t find flights to accommodate all of us. Even last summer was a piece of cake compared to now. We gave up on 6 for the same flights this summer. It’s likely OP would have had to book the grandparents on a different itinerary
Yeah last summer trans-Atlantic business awards were still somewhat available because the covid test to return regime wasn't lifted until.mid-June if you remember. Plenty of people were still scared/concerned enough about getting stuck on their return to put off buying summer trips in the previous winter and spring when they would normally be bought. This year it is game on and prices are through the roof and award tickets are non-existent
Anonymous
06/09/2023 22:01
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Anonymous wrote:OP here with a final outcome!! Had a long talk with my parents.
First, when they bought their tickets, they knew we we were in business class and also figured we got a great deal like we always seem to do. They knowingly booked coach because: (1) they couldn’t afford business class and (2) they assumed that DH could just upgrade them for free because he has elite status. Truthfully, DH has previously hooked them up with first class tix to Hawaii, London, and Seattle, but they have/had no clue how challenging this can be and that there are no guarantees. They wrongly assumed it would be easy and that we’re overflowing with FF miles, so they didn’t see it as a burden.
Second, my dad – especially – doesn’t like to be outdone. He highly respects DH, but is always competing with him. When he saw that we had booked a Sky Suite + Veranda Room combo on Celebrity, he decided to take it up a notch and book a better Celebrity Suite for him and my mom. He really wants his cabin on the cruise ship to be the family gathering location. I am sure that sitting in coach while my family sits in business just rubbed him the wrong way. But he’s stuck with minimal recourse, not having a spare $10K+ to essentially maintain pace with DH.
Third, I am not comfortable having my parents sitting in coach while my kids are in business class. It would embarrass me to no end. Quite frankly, both of my kids felt it was wrong as well (DD absolutely wants business, but appreciates the rightness of offering it up to a 74 year old grandparent; DS offered it up w/o hesitation). It’s annoying that my dad tried to guilt his way into better seats at our expense, but…it is his way. He can be a competitive and controlling jerk, but I think he wants to do the right thing. I don’t have to love the behavior to still love and respect the person.
So, we’ve decided to give up two of our first class seats to my parents. We have a nice cluster of 4 in the middle of a 787 in both directions. DH was able to call the GS help desk at United and have my parents’ itinerary connected to ours. United upgraded my parents’ seats from Economy to Economy Plus at no cost since we’re basically all flying together and GS members are eligible for this. Then, DH has applied PlusPoints to my parents’ seats. It is waitlist-only, but United assures us that the upgrades will be prioritized as Global Services, so maybe we’ll get lucky. As the flight draws nearer, if the price for a paid upgrade drops, DH might go ahead and purchase upgrades to either Premium Plus or to Polaris Business. Regardless, my parents will be sitting in business. United assures me that an on-board switch of seats will not be a problem for family members (assuming no back and forth).
My parents didn’t really appreciate the complexities of FF miles and upgrades. But they highly value the upgrade from coach to business. My parents have offered to give each of our kids $500 spending money for the cruise plus to pay for all excursions for all six of us (beyond our on-board credits, anyway). DH is still covering the three hotel rooms for several days pre- / post-cruise.
Glad you came.up with something that works for everyone. Surprised DH had enough Plus Points to make it work, even with the wait-list.
That misunderstanding of the complexity of frequent flyer programs, the scarcity of upgrades on premium routes, etc is very common. I am pretty deep into the world and have family members think I can do magic somehow. They programs are capacity controlled and hard to maximize because the best seats are a limited capacity and generate the most revenue. Of course the airlines aren't just going to give them away willy nilly.
Seems like you have a pretty clear eyed view of the emotional dynamics. And we're good at communicating openly with everyone involved. Nice work!
Anonymous
06/09/2023 21:29
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
OP, thanks for the update. This has been a wild ride, and I'm glad the result is satisfactory for all.
Anonymous
06/09/2023 21:29
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t your global services husband offer to upgrade them? I was global services for many years and always used upgrades or miles for my aging parents.
We’re global services and have never seen it like the last few months. Transatlantic flights are so booked so there seem to be fewer upgrades. We have multiple kids and can’t find flights to accommodate all of us. Even last summer was a piece of cake compared to now. We gave up on 6 for the same flights this summer. It’s likely OP would have had to book the grandparents on a different itinerary
Anonymous
06/09/2023 21:20
Subject: Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
OP here with a final outcome!! Had a long talk with my parents.
First, when they bought their tickets, they knew we we were in business class and also figured we got a great deal like we always seem to do. They knowingly booked coach because: (1) they couldn’t afford business class and (2) they assumed that DH could just upgrade them for free because he has elite status. Truthfully, DH has previously hooked them up with first class tix to Hawaii, London, and Seattle, but they have/had no clue how challenging this can be and that there are no guarantees. They wrongly assumed it would be easy and that we’re overflowing with FF miles, so they didn’t see it as a burden.
Second, my dad – especially – doesn’t like to be outdone. He highly respects DH, but is always competing with him. When he saw that we had booked a Sky Suite + Veranda Room combo on Celebrity, he decided to take it up a notch and book a better Celebrity Suite for him and my mom. He really wants his cabin on the cruise ship to be the family gathering location. I am sure that sitting in coach while my family sits in business just rubbed him the wrong way. But he’s stuck with minimal recourse, not having a spare $10K+ to essentially maintain pace with DH.
Third, I am not comfortable having my parents sitting in coach while my kids are in business class. It would embarrass me to no end. Quite frankly, both of my kids felt it was wrong as well (DD absolutely wants business, but appreciates the rightness of offering it up to a 74 year old grandparent; DS offered it up w/o hesitation). It’s annoying that my dad tried to guilt his way into better seats at our expense, but…it is his way. He can be a competitive and controlling jerk, but I think he wants to do the right thing. I don’t have to love the behavior to still love and respect the person.
So, we’ve decided to give up two of our first class seats to my parents. We have a nice cluster of 4 in the middle of a 787 in both directions. DH was able to call the GS help desk at United and have my parents’ itinerary connected to ours. United upgraded my parents’ seats from Economy to Economy Plus at no cost since we’re basically all flying together and GS members are eligible for this. Then, DH has applied PlusPoints to my parents’ seats. It is waitlist-only, but United assures us that the upgrades will be prioritized as Global Services, so maybe we’ll get lucky. As the flight draws nearer, if the price for a paid upgrade drops, DH might go ahead and purchase upgrades to either Premium Plus or to Polaris Business. Regardless, my parents will be sitting in business. United assures me that an on-board switch of seats will not be a problem for family members (assuming no back and forth).
My parents didn’t really appreciate the complexities of FF miles and upgrades. But they highly value the upgrade from coach to business. My parents have offered to give each of our kids $500 spending money for the cruise plus to pay for all excursions for all six of us (beyond our on-board credits, anyway). DH is still covering the three hotel rooms for several days pre- / post-cruise.
First, when they bought their tickets, they knew we we were in business class and also figured we got a great deal like we always seem to do. They knowingly booked coach because: (1) they couldn’t afford business class and (2) they assumed that DH could just upgrade them for free because he has elite status. Truthfully, DH has previously hooked them up with first class tix to Hawaii, London, and Seattle, but they have/had no clue how challenging this can be and that there are no guarantees. They wrongly assumed it would be easy and that we’re overflowing with FF miles, so they didn’t see it as a burden.
Second, my dad – especially – doesn’t like to be outdone. He highly respects DH, but is always competing with him. When he saw that we had booked a Sky Suite + Veranda Room combo on Celebrity, he decided to take it up a notch and book a better Celebrity Suite for him and my mom. He really wants his cabin on the cruise ship to be the family gathering location. I am sure that sitting in coach while my family sits in business just rubbed him the wrong way. But he’s stuck with minimal recourse, not having a spare $10K+ to essentially maintain pace with DH.
Third, I am not comfortable having my parents sitting in coach while my kids are in business class. It would embarrass me to no end. Quite frankly, both of my kids felt it was wrong as well (DD absolutely wants business, but appreciates the rightness of offering it up to a 74 year old grandparent; DS offered it up w/o hesitation). It’s annoying that my dad tried to guilt his way into better seats at our expense, but…it is his way. He can be a competitive and controlling jerk, but I think he wants to do the right thing. I don’t have to love the behavior to still love and respect the person.
So, we’ve decided to give up two of our first class seats to my parents. We have a nice cluster of 4 in the middle of a 787 in both directions. DH was able to call the GS help desk at United and have my parents’ itinerary connected to ours. United upgraded my parents’ seats from Economy to Economy Plus at no cost since we’re basically all flying together and GS members are eligible for this. Then, DH has applied PlusPoints to my parents’ seats. It is waitlist-only, but United assures us that the upgrades will be prioritized as Global Services, so maybe we’ll get lucky. As the flight draws nearer, if the price for a paid upgrade drops, DH might go ahead and purchase upgrades to either Premium Plus or to Polaris Business. Regardless, my parents will be sitting in business. United assures me that an on-board switch of seats will not be a problem for family members (assuming no back and forth).
My parents didn’t really appreciate the complexities of FF miles and upgrades. But they highly value the upgrade from coach to business. My parents have offered to give each of our kids $500 spending money for the cruise plus to pay for all excursions for all six of us (beyond our on-board credits, anyway). DH is still covering the three hotel rooms for several days pre- / post-cruise.
Anonymous
06/09/2023 21:17
Subject: Re:Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats
OP did you really invite them or was this one of those situations where they pushed you into inviting them? Was your husband onboard turning your family vacation into entertain the boomers? Your DH has a right to be really pissed if your parents have tagged onto your vacation and now he has to treat the jerks to first class and endure sitting next to them the whole flight while his kids are somewhere else on the plane.