Anonymous wrote:1. Some folks don't understand that the game is really in early action. They see early action and regular decision and think they're equal. Many, many schools have much reduced odds by doing regular decision. So if you do regular decision, the kid is doing the same work, essays, etc and have a much lower chance. I've been surprised by the amount of parents who didn't know this. Basically, go in with the mentality that all apps will be due Nov 1 (plus or minus a few weeks). Of course, some don't have early action, so reg decision is fine obviously.

2. For all of the emphasis you'll hear on demonstrated interest, I was suprised how many of the schools my kid applied to didn't track demonstrated interest (you can see on every schools "common data set" whether they consider demonstrated interest in admissions). So check common data set before you force yourself to fly across country to make sure you have demonstrated interest.

3. Before the search begins and all along the way, emphasize over and over that we're not looking for a dream school. We need to identify 4-5 schools you'd be excited to attend. Watching the "dream school" kids be disappointed even when they end up at good schools is rough.

4. Understand your budget before ever letting a kid look at a school. Schools that would never be affordable (even with merit or aid it'd be too much) aren't on the table.

Anonymous wrote:I love how so many posters think these soft elements have any real bearing on college admissions. It’s wishful thinking. A letter of recommendation could say your kid is the Christ Child but without the grades, courses and test scores they’re not getting in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how so many posters think these soft elements have any real bearing on college admissions. It’s wishful thinking. A letter of recommendation could say your kid is the Christ Child but without the grades, courses and test scores they’re not getting in.

Do you not understand how holistic admissions works? Rigor, grades, scores ( if relevant) set the floor. For the highly selective schools, way more kids meet an acceptable threshold across these measures than can be admitted. That’s where these institutional priorities come into play. But you’re probably one of those people who thinks that choosing a kid with a 1520 over one with a 1570 is a potentially discriminatory act.

I don’t even remotely think that. But recommendations are at the bottom of the list. You all just think your kids are so damned special.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kindness, really? Maybe I'm being cynical here, but please explain to me how a 17 year old teen demonstrates their kindness in a college app without it sounding disingenuous? And now that this is "a thing," every application will have kids trying to convince AOs how kind they are. It's ridiculous.

Perhaps, kindness isn't exactly the right word. I see it more as caring about others, things like helping kids with homework, being supportive of other kids dealing with personal emotional difficulties, standing up for other kids being bullied and subjected to various kinds of harassment (sometimes as seemingly little as not letting friends kick another kid out of a group), providing rides for classmates who can't otherwise get to games, practices, concerts. Concrete, real world things that don't need to be exaggerated or fictionally created.

My son had a little of this in the background of his essays and LORs, and I think it helped.

Appreciate this. That makes the concept more relatable and my kid has definitely done some of those things you have listed. Can't imagine him mentioning those things on a college app though - he's not one to express his emotions in overt ways.

He has been especially supportive of a close friend whose parents are immigrants, knew nothing about college pathways, programs, classes to take and has been advising him for the past 3 years as well as giving him rides to sports practices/tournaments. I told my son he should mention this on a summer program app he applied for and he simply would not do it. He talked about peer tutoring at school, but that is really a much less personal experience.

Sorry don't mean to derail. It just seems that kids have to do, be, reveal so much even if that's not really a part of their personality.

He is right not to mention helping his friend with "immigrant parents" because he is aware of the concept of "white savior complex"

Not sure about white savior complex, but definitely think he (and I) see it as exploiting a friendship for personal gain. Which is why this idea of kindness + college apps seems very strange to me at least.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kindness, really? Maybe I'm being cynical here, but please explain to me how a 17 year old teen demonstrates their kindness in a college app without it sounding disingenuous? And now that this is "a thing," every application will have kids trying to convince AOs how kind they are. It's ridiculous.

Perhaps, kindness isn't exactly the right word. I see it more as caring about others, things like helping kids with homework, being supportive of other kids dealing with personal emotional difficulties, standing up for other kids being bullied and subjected to various kinds of harassment (sometimes as seemingly little as not letting friends kick another kid out of a group), providing rides for classmates who can't otherwise get to games, practices, concerts. Concrete, real world things that don't need to be exaggerated or fictionally created.

My son had a little of this in the background of his essays and LORs, and I think it helped.

Appreciate this. That makes the concept more relatable and my kid has definitely done some of those things you have listed. Can't imagine him mentioning those things on a college app though - he's not one to express his emotions in overt ways.

He has been especially supportive of a close friend whose parents are immigrants, knew nothing about college pathways, programs, classes to take and has been advising him for the past 3 years as well as giving him rides to sports practices/tournaments. I told my son he should mention this on a summer program app he applied for and he simply would not do it. He talked about peer tutoring at school, but that is really a much less personal experience.

Sorry don't mean to derail. It just seems that kids have to do, be, reveal so much even if that's not really a part of their personality.

He is right not to mention helping his friend with "immigrant parents" because he is aware of the concept of "white savior complex"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how so many posters think these soft elements have any real bearing on college admissions. It’s wishful thinking. A letter of recommendation could say your kid is the Christ Child but without the grades, courses and test scores they’re not getting in.

Do you not understand how holistic admissions works? Rigor, grades, scores ( if relevant) set the floor. For the highly selective schools, way more kids meet an acceptable threshold across these measures than can be admitted. That’s where these institutional priorities come into play. But you’re probably one of those people who thinks that choosing a kid with a 1520 over one with a 1570 is a potentially discriminatory act.

Anonymous wrote:I love how so many posters think these soft elements have any real bearing on college admissions. It’s wishful thinking. A letter of recommendation could say your kid is the Christ Child but without the grades, courses and test scores they’re not getting in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kindness, really? Maybe I'm being cynical here, but please explain to me how a 17 year old teen demonstrates their kindness in a college app without it sounding disingenuous? And now that this is "a thing," every application will have kids trying to convince AOs how kind they are. It's ridiculous.

Perhaps, kindness isn't exactly the right word. I see it more as caring about others, things like helping kids with homework, being supportive of other kids dealing with personal emotional difficulties, standing up for other kids being bullied and subjected to various kinds of harassment (sometimes as seemingly little as not letting friends kick another kid out of a group), providing rides for classmates who can't otherwise get to games, practices, concerts. Concrete, real world things that don't need to be exaggerated or fictionally created.

My son had a little of this in the background of his essays and LORs, and I think it helped.

Appreciate this. That makes the concept more relatable and my kid has definitely done some of those things you have listed. Can't imagine him mentioning those things on a college app though - he's not one to express his emotions in overt ways.

He has been especially supportive of a close friend whose parents are immigrants, knew nothing about college pathways, programs, classes to take and has been advising him for the past 3 years as well as giving him rides to sports practices/tournaments. I told my son he should mention this on a summer program app he applied for and he simply would not do it. He talked about peer tutoring at school, but that is really a much less personal experience.

Sorry don't mean to derail. It just seems that kids have to do, be, reveal so much even if that's not really a part of their personality.

He is right not to mention helping his friend with "immigrant parents" because he is aware of the concept of "white savior complex"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kindness, really? Maybe I'm being cynical here, but please explain to me how a 17 year old teen demonstrates their kindness in a college app without it sounding disingenuous? And now that this is "a thing," every application will have kids trying to convince AOs how kind they are. It's ridiculous.

Perhaps, kindness isn't exactly the right word. I see it more as caring about others, things like helping kids with homework, being supportive of other kids dealing with personal emotional difficulties, standing up for other kids being bullied and subjected to various kinds of harassment (sometimes as seemingly little as not letting friends kick another kid out of a group), providing rides for classmates who can't otherwise get to games, practices, concerts. Concrete, real world things that don't need to be exaggerated or fictionally created.

My son had a little of this in the background of his essays and LORs, and I think it helped.

Appreciate this. That makes the concept more relatable and my kid has definitely done some of those things you have listed. Can't imagine him mentioning those things on a college app though - he's not one to express his emotions in overt ways.

He has been especially supportive of a close friend whose parents are immigrants, knew nothing about college pathways, programs, classes to take and has been advising him for the past 3 years as well as giving him rides to sports practices/tournaments. I told my son he should mention this on a summer program app he applied for and he simply would not do it. He talked about peer tutoring at school, but that is really a much less personal experience.

Sorry don't mean to derail. It just seems that kids have to do, be, reveal so much even if that's not really a part of their personality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kindness, really? Maybe I'm being cynical here, but please explain to me how a 17 year old teen demonstrates their kindness in a college app without it sounding disingenuous? And now that this is "a thing," every application will have kids trying to convince AOs how kind they are. It's ridiculous.

Perhaps, kindness isn't exactly the right word. I see it more as caring about others, things like helping kids with homework, being supportive of other kids dealing with personal emotional difficulties, standing up for other kids being bullied and subjected to various kinds of harassment (sometimes as seemingly little as not letting friends kick another kid out of a group), providing rides for classmates who can't otherwise get to games, practices, concerts. Concrete, real world things that don't need to be exaggerated or fictionally created.

My son had a little of this in the background of his essays and LORs, and I think it helped.

Appreciate this. That makes the concept more relatable and my kid has definitely done some of those things you have listed. Can't imagine him mentioning those things on a college app though - he's not one to express his emotions in overt ways.

He has been especially supportive of a close friend whose parents are immigrants, knew nothing about college pathways, programs, classes to take and has been advising him for the past 3 years as well as giving him rides to sports practices/tournaments. I told my son he should mention this on a summer program app he applied for and he simply would not do it. He talked about peer tutoring at school, but that is really a much less personal experience.

Sorry don't mean to derail. It just seems that kids have to do, be, reveal so much even if that's not really a part of their personality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kindness, really? Maybe I'm being cynical here, but please explain to me how a 17 year old teen demonstrates their kindness in a college app without it sounding disingenuous? And now that this is "a thing," every application will have kids trying to convince AOs how kind they are. It's ridiculous.

Perhaps, kindness isn't exactly the right word. I see it more as caring about others, things like helping kids with homework, being supportive of other kids dealing with personal emotional difficulties, standing up for other kids being bullied and subjected to various kinds of harassment (sometimes as seemingly little as not letting friends kick another kid out of a group), providing rides for classmates who can't otherwise get to games, practices, concerts. Concrete, real world things that don't need to be exaggerated or fictionally created.

My son had a little of this in the background of his essays and LORs, and I think it helped.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kindness, really? Maybe I'm being cynical here, but please explain to me how a 17 year old teen demonstrates their kindness in a college app without it sounding disingenuous? And now that this is "a thing," every application will have kids trying to convince AOs how kind they are. It's ridiculous.

Nope it’s absolutely a real thing.

And perkiness. They want do-ers. Get up and go.

Anonymous wrote:Kindness, really? Maybe I'm being cynical here, but please explain to me how a 17 year old teen demonstrates their kindness in a college app without it sounding disingenuous? And now that this is "a thing," every application will have kids trying to convince AOs how kind they are. It's ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:Kindness, really? Maybe I'm being cynical here, but please explain to me how a 17 year old teen demonstrates their kindness in a college app without it sounding disingenuous? And now that this is "a thing," every application will have kids trying to convince AOs how kind they are. It's ridiculous.