Anonymous wrote:My husband and I raised our kids on our own. We wanted our parents enjoying the money they worked for and have fun. Don’t have kids if you can’t care for them.

Dumb post. Most of the grandparents I know are helpful. They are the backup childcare option if the nanny doesn’t come in or daycare closes, and they regularly take the kids for weekend outings so parents can catch up on work/housework/sleep. In today’s society, you need that and if your parents can provide it for you it’s a gift.

Gen X grandma (53) of an early gen Z (26) daughter. I have my grandson who is 1 year old 2 days a week to help with childcare expenses. I watch him while I work from home. I also help them with laundry, cleaning, vet visits etc. I have open access to my grandson including an app to his baby monitor. We all get along and we are a team but they are the parents and I am a helper. It can work.

I am Gen X, my parents are Boomers.

My own parents lived near their own parents- I don’t think they felt they had much choice in the matter- and so yes my grandparents were involved in our lives. I wouldn’t necessarily say the gparents were “helping,” in that they weren’t driving me to activities or providing my after school child care or similar, but my sibs and I did sometimes sleep over at gparents’ house on weekends for fun, and my grandparents came to dinner at our house weekly, and we’d regularly go with a parent to gparents’ to do chores, etc). On reflection, I’d say my parents spent as much or more time helping their parents as their parents did helping them with us.

My parents encouraged my sibs and me to locate wherever met our professional and personal goals. That turned out not to be in the same state as them for any of us. So my parents have not been helpful in the raising of my kids or my sibs kids, but they have been loving and visit a few times a year. Nor do sibs and I helo our parents with their day to day lives, the way they did for their own parents.

I’d never call my parents selfish. And I hooe they wouldn’t call me selfish either! It’s just a different way of life.

Anonymous wrote:Looking around, the grandparents actively involved in their grandkids lives seem more youthful than the ones stringing together all their Viking cruises and playing mahjong.

Hahaha! Kids are work.

My husband and I raised our kids on our own. We wanted our parents enjoying the money they worked for and have fun. Don’t have kids if you can’t care for them.

The same people who go on and on about boundaries, won't let anyone near their newborns, etc are complaining that grandparents don't help.

So my parents are borderline boomer/silent generation.I did not expect them to be too involved. I accepted the were who they were and would travel and lead the high life. I didn't expect much from them growing up and had tremendous pressure from them to get good grades, go to top schools.My dad at least was reasonable in his expectations and I enjoyed helping as he aged. My mother felt so entitled to have me at her command and act like a queen and I was her peasant while still raising kids. Take all those bags of money you brag about and hire a bunch of servants. So many years wasted of her telling me what a horrible, ungrateful, petulant daughter I was because i finally set limits. I could accept her many endless limits, but she could never accept mine.

Anonymous wrote:Looking around, the grandparents actively involved in their grandkids lives seem more youthful than the ones stringing together all their Viking cruises and playing mahjong.

Ha. I laugh bc my parent are in the Viking crowd. But I chalk it up to age more than anything else. My mom’s mom was 50 when my mom had her first and 52 for second. My mom 66-70 when I was having my kids. Maybe she would have been more involved if she was 15-20yrs younger but whether bc of energy and abilities or because of literal time left - she’s not up for childcare or even lots of time with toddlers. I get that - when I have another good 5-10 years left before I’m likely too old to be easily traveling around the world, I don’t see choosing to spend the majoring of my time sitting around a playground instead. Is it selfishly disappointing? Yes of course. Am I disappointed in my parents or begrudge them using their last few good years getting in their last adventure? No of course not

Seems like a quarter of millennials are estranged from their parents, another quarter resent their parent's lives, and another quarter won't even get married. Hopefully there is one quarter that actually has a respectful relationship with their parents.

Looking around, the grandparents actively involved in their grandkids lives seem more youthful than the ones stringing together all their Viking cruises and playing mahjong.

In our household one set of grandparents is present and helps out on a regular basis. Child has a great relationship with them and I think it really enriches life for grandparents and child. Other set of grandparents lives about 45 mins away but never offers to help or even just drive over to see us. Child has very little relationship with them and acts shy when seeing them on holidays because literally never sees them otherwise. I think for grandparents they get what they put in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

I’m not a boomer, but dayyyuuum. You actually resent your parents living their lives after they wiped your tail, raised you, worked at their career and got no sleep ?!
Grow up!

My boomer parents received lots of help from their own parents. Practically every single week. I knew my grandparents very well while growing up. My own kids barely know their grandparents who are constantly on vacation. They are just checked out and won’t help with anything when directly asked. Completely different than their own parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to need my parents help raising my children, but I think it's funny that they got a ton of help from their parents raising us..... We are talking vacations together. Meals several times a week. Grandparents coming to all school functions taking us to school, picking us up from school..... But my parents who are retired or working part-time struggle to even plan a holiday nowadays. Yet they want us to all come to them. Sorry Jan, I'm not planning Christmas at your house if you don't want to take the initiative.

once again, you need to look at the differences in women's lives between the two generation.

Do millennials not understand context? Hilarious. So much naval gazing.

-signed a gen xer

Cry Baby idiots

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever.

— GenX

+1. Was about to post "Join the club."

- Another GenX

- Grow up!
- signed another Gen X’er

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

I’m not a boomer, but dayyyuuum. You actually resent your parents living their lives after they wiped your tail, raised you, worked at their career and got no sleep ?!
Grow up!